Lost

I had a plethora of thoughts running through my mind tonight which was preventing me from falling asleep.  So I made myself a cup of tea, switched loads of laundry over and am hoping that getting them out on the screen will allow me to settle down.

I am thinking of Andrea.  My beautiful 9.5 year old.  A girl who is becoming a young lady right before my eyes.  We found out today that her best friend who lives across the street is moving, not on July 15 as originally thought but on June 23... this week.  Her sweet heart is so sad and broken.  Cassie has been a delight to have around and I know she will be greatly missed.  The girls are having a camp out tonight, sleeping in a tent on Cassie's deck... I hope and pray they are having fun.

I am thinking of Sarah.  My baby of almost 2 years old.  How can my baby be two?  Time flies.

I am thinking of pictures.  Of the 8 months of pictures that are now in the unknown cyber world, never to be seen again.  My Dell laptop hard drive hit the bucket and with it took months of pictures.  Months of memories and events.  I am truly grieving the loss.  Last night I cried and cried over all the photos I have taken that are no longer mine.  Christmas 2009, Joshua & Arianna's birthdays, my birthday, the pictures of Cassie and Andrea (which were to be scrapbooked as a gift), Sarah growing and changing, my niece and Sarah together, grandparents.... the list goes on.

I also lost thousands of digital scrapbook papers and elements that I have downloaded for two years.  Years of time consuming work and effort... gone.  Oh how it makes me sad. 

Doug encouraged me to remember that I haven't lost the people.  That those I have photographed are still here.  I understand that but it doesn't take away the hurt of what is gone.  A friend of ours was able to salvage about 30% of my files before the computer went down for good.  I don't know what was able to be recovered.... I'll find that out when my laptop comes back.

*sigh*