All these labeling words continue to echo in my head.
These are the words that came out of today's first assessment for Sarah's speech. A lot of information to process and a lot of different feelings that are going on inside of me. The older kids were always ahead of their peers in all areas of development. Whether it was walking, talking, writing... whatever. To have come to the realization that Sarah is not at the level she should be, is quite a difficult thing to accept. At {almost} three years old, she has the language development of a two year old. So in addition to taking this first assessment step, we consented to an in-home consultation from the Early Intervention Specialist as well as auditory testing at the hospital. I really don't think the auditory test is necessary as both Doug and I are pretty confident that her hearing is fine. But, like everything else, we'll get it done anyhow.
So that was the formal part of the morning. I've had a few hours to chew on the information given to me and I'm sure I'll continue to process what I've learned. It is very difficult for me to accept the fact that Sarah needs help or intervention... call it what you want, it's all the same to me. She is my baby and part of me just wants to leave her alone and develop at her own speed. Since she was 6 weeks old, she has been poked, prodded, inspected, has had blood drawn, received all types of testing, scans... the works. To this day, she is fearful of doctors and medical facilities. It was interesting that she was happily walking into the building and as we approached the Health Unit, she immediately asked to be picked up. That makes me sad for her. I don't think it's right for a 2.5 year old to be fearful of the medical community. My mama-heart wants to hold and protect her from everything like that. I know that this speech stuff isn't invasive to her but that doesn't mean I have to like it. I think I've resisted getting the assessment done because I didn't want to admit that there was a problem. Does that make sense?
She isn't a typical looking *almost* three year old. She has a little bit of fuzzy blonde hair that is finally coming in at the back. She is short and tiny... on the scale today, she was a whopping 24 pounds, 8 ounces. Because of her size and {lack of} hair, people are always surprised when I tell them she's almost 3! The next question is always "Was she a preemie?" Nope. Full term, and actually 9 days late. Now add in her lack of speech and she appears much less than her age. I need to trust God's plan for her. Trust that she is developing and growing just the way HE intended. I will do everything I can to provide the tools to help Sarah improve her speech.
"Don't let your hearts be troubled.
Trust in God, and trust also in me."
John 14:1 (NLT)
Stephanie,
ReplyDeleteI'm not going to sit here and try and compare child to child ... but rather just share my experience and let you know that on a small level, on a very small scale, I understand.
Jenna was in speech therapy for 3 years. She has an enlarged tongue and her lisp is obvious. She's a smart kid, above-average in her education, but she was in speech therapy, and as a mom, it was hard to accept that she needed help. That there was something maybe I had done wrong -- or that I had not done good enough.
But, point was, she needed help, and she got it. While she made great strides, after 3 years, she still has her lisp. She's aware of what she has to do, and her dad and I quietly work with her holding her tongue back when she talks by using signals only known to the three of us.
She was a late talker, a late walker, but now, at almost 8 ... you wouldn't even know.
My prayers to you and your family. For God to show you the meaning behind all of this. To give you peace, understanding, patience and the knowledge to do what is best for your Sarah. You'll know what that is. You're her mom :)
Love, Kym
My prayers are with you for comfort, guidance and direction. Appreciate your honesty!
ReplyDeleteStephanie,
ReplyDeleteI linked over here to look at your quilts. They are beautiful btw! I'm just starting my first, wish me luck! But, I think God had His own purpose for prompting me to go to your site and not the other 100 views of others quilts. I have a 5 year old boy. My dear sweet Danny. He is truly the most beautiful and sweetest little thing you could ever imagine. He is number 5 in the line up, and the 4th boy. By the time he was 6mo old I knew. Something wasn't right. He didn't roll over,or try to sit. He finally rolled over at 8mo. By his first year he was just barely starting to do the "army" crawl. He started walking at 2 years. At this point he had his first laugh. He had always smiled, but never laughed. He didn't start talking til he was 3, and not in any sentences until he was 4, and then it was 3 word sentences. He is in a special ed. pre-k class at the elementary school. He absolutely loves it! Have I mentioned that his pediatrician has told me on more than one occasion that my son is just lazy? Yeah. Wrong. All my other kids did everything on time or ahead of time. They are very bright and creative children. Boy #5/ child # 6 is right on target with everything. It is sometimes glaringly apparent that Danny is behind/delayed. I have been so frustrated trying to get help for Danny. To be told he's just lazy. Just last week both the little boys had to go to the ped. for illness, we saw a different dr. He found out that Danny wasn't potty trained and asked if he's ever been evaluated. Nope. He asked me to bring him back in for that when he gets over being sick. I am so excited to finally start the road to answers. We think it has something to do with the fact that Danny had a knot in his umbilical cord. It was a "true" knot, one that he had created in the early months of pregnancy. You have further inspired me to keep pushing for answers for my son. My Mama's heart just breaks when he does something at a level far below his age and other kids question why he's the way he is. I pray that we can help him achieve his highest potential! I worry about his future. Thank you for your posts on sweet little Sarah :) She is a cutie! Thank you again for your inspiring words. May God continue to bless your family and keep watch over your daughter!