The Results Are In

Have you ever had a moment where you feel like your world is about to come crashing down on you?  Today, Doug and I received some news about Sarah that has put us into a bit of a state of shock. 

We were given the results of the MRI.  I think I went in with the hope that we'd be told that there was nothing going on and to have a nice day.  That unfortunately was not the case.  

Medically speaking, Sarah's "corpus callosum" is slightly thinned.  This means that the connection between the two halves of the brain is not as thick as it should be, therefore causing the delays. In Doug's not so medical terms, he confirmed that Sarah's brain is simply wired differently.  Not wrong or bad, just different. 

They also found that there is "periventricular white matter" , consistent with "periventricular gliosis", WHICH as I understand, is the cause of her balance issues. 

All these findings are likely caused by a lack of oxygen to Sarah's brain while I was pregnant with her.  The doctor told us that his diagnosis for Sarah is a mild form of Cerebral Palsy.   

Cerebral palsy (CP) is a disorder that affects muscle tone, movement, and motor skills (the ability to move in a coordinated and purposeful way). Cerebral palsy can also lead to other health issues, including vision, hearing, and speech problems, and learning disabilities.

CP is usually caused by brain damage that occurs before or during a child's birth, or during the first 3 to 5 years of a child's life. There is no cure for CP, but treatment, therapy, and special equipment can help a child who is living with the condition.  Cerebral palsy affects muscle control and coordination, so even simple movements like standing still are difficult. Other vital functions that also involve motor skills and muscles such as breathing, bladder and bowel control, eating, and learning may also be affected when a child has CP. Cerebral palsy does not get worse over time.

(Information taken from this SITE)

Sarah will continue to progress at her own speed.  She will not regress nor will she reach a point where she stops learning.  She will for now continue to be behind her peers physically and developmentally.  She may never catch up but she will ultimately reach her full potential, whatever that may be.

I feel raw at the moment.  If someone were to ask how I am doing, the answer would be "not great".  I managed to drive home in a state of disbelief, shock and even fear.  What does the future hold for us?  What am I going to do with this plethora of information?   I feel sad, deflated and broken.  My heart is aching so bad right now.