Respite Care

Sometimes the words flow easier than others.  Sometimes, the things I write and share with my readers is hard to do.  I've been asked why I blog and share publicly and I think my reasoning is that maybe my words will help, inspire or encourage someone.  Every so often I need encouraging as well and I find great amounts of support through this medium.  This blog post is a tough one and might not appear all that optimistic.  I've got to get it out there though.  It's my outlet and I'm just doing it.

Last week Sarah and I had our 4th last Early Intervention appointment with Wendy. That means there are only three more visits left.  Three more visits of support, help, advice and ideas.

I had posted a week or so ago about how much of a mess Sarah had gotten into while I was doing some school with the kids.  I had talked about this with Wendy and the idea of respite care came up.  I didn't think I would really ever need to require help like that.  I want to believe that I can do it all on my own.  I mean I'm the mom, I should be able to handle it all.

Wendy's thinking is to have someone come to the house for three hours a day, a few days a week to watch Sarah while I homeschool the older kids.  This would ensure Sarah's safety so I could get school done with the others.  They could receive my full attention and I wouldn't have to be thinking and wondering what she's possibly getting into.  What she can get into can be messy, dangerous or just plain trouble.

I have so many mixed feelings on this idea.  I'm a Mom.  I feel it makes me seem that I am weaker or like I can't handle it all.  This is such a new concept to me.  Any time someone has asked me about it, I've just brushed it off saying that Sarah is easy enough and I am doing fine on my own.  Wendy said it's exhausting to raise (and homeschool) four kids, one who needs extra care.

I'm scared of the {negative} opinions of others and what they might think.  I don't want to come across as weak or incapable.  Am I letting her down by not being able to care for her 100% of the time?  Will I be judged on my request for in-home help? This is something I never thought I'd need or even want.  I suppose didn't imagine that I would be a mom to a child that might benefit from respite care.  This is just plain tough.  All of it.

My daughter needs me, she depends on me and my love to bring the best to her life. I can only do the best I can to help her and provide all opportunities I can. Maybe this is one of them...

Today is Easter Sunday and I will remember the reason we celebrate the season. He HAS risen and I will thank Him for his sacrifice.  I will also thank Him for the amazing blessing that Sarah is and all that I can learn from her.