Today started out as a typical Sunday. Lots of hanging out, reading books, watching {more} Curious George... that kind of thing. I noticed Sarah was going slightly downhill at Grandma's house when she spilled a bit of tea on her clothes and insisted, through tear filled eyes that we wash them. Thankfully, we could toss them in the dryer for a bit and they were fine.
About five minutes into the drive home, she began to sob uncontrollably, desperately asking for a hug from me. Once we got to the house, she quickly found her beloved pyjamas and ate a banana with a peanut butter sandwich. The evening was going fairly smoothly... until bedtime. We are always in the process of trying to get Sarah to sleep in her own bed (yes, she still has sleep issues and frequents our room and bed). So last night was one of those nights where I wanted to try. Again. To say she was unhappy about that is an understatement. She cried. A deep, throaty cry that sounded so sad and desperate. I have never been a parent to let the kids cry it out so after just a few minutes (maybe 5), I went back to her room to try and lay down with her. She began to cough and proceeded to throw up her entire supper. Throwing up for her is terrifying. She has no idea what's going on with her body. She gets panicky and agitated which causes her to cry even harder.
A circumstance like that often gets me to thinking and asking all kinds of questions. Was she over tired at Grandma's? Is sleeping alone THAT stressful? What happened that made her so upset? It just seems to me (and maybe I'm wrong) that most other kids could have coped better.
Doug and I created a game plan. She gets to sleep in our room, in the pack 'n play. I'm hoping that she'll feel safe and comfortable by simply being close to me without needing to touch me. I'll place some soft pillows around her to give her that secure feeling. Then we'll move the playpen to the other room and hopefully transition to her own bed eventually. Doug said it really well last night when he told me that every time we do something like this with Sarah, it will be like starting from square one. She doesn't remember last year when she slept a full two months on her own, all night, in her own bed.
This gives me cause to continually pray for wisdom and patience as we need to parent Sarah so differently than the other three kids.
I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
I remember so well the issues surrounding sleeping alone! We had to sleep with our son for many years (probably till about age 4 or 5, I honestly can't remember). He still sleeps in his room with the tv on all night (on mute) for some reason that seems to work for him....I'm sure many parents would criticize that choice...but I've learned over the years not to be so hard on myself, life is a lot happier when we can figure out what works, not do what everyone else thinks we should be doing!
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