On February 25, I opened the door to allow people to have a glimpse into our life as we deal with depression. If you'd like a refresher, you can CLICK HERE.
Of course with a Part 1, there should be a Part 2. So here I go.
I would have to say that over the last four months, I've noticed less extreme highs and lows than before. Sure Doug has his good days and his bad ones but they are fewer and far between that they were even six months ago. We also changed our diet. We eat way more chicken and fish, less red meat and almost no wheat and gluten. I serve lots of salads and oodles of veggies at every meal. I think the dietary switch has been a huge factor in his moods.
As his wife and life partner, I also ensure that we go out at least once a month. Just the two of us. We sit at our favorite place, Original Joe's and have a good ol' heart to heart. I am blessed that he is honest with me as well. He has always been a talker and I appreciate his willingness to be open with me.
I have also done a lot of talking with my girlfriends who are so incredibly encouraging and supportive. They listen to me cry and complain. They are also the ones who share my joys when there's a breakthrough, no matter how big or small.
Being aware of his moods (I can usually hear it in his voice on the phone) has been a challenge and yet has been a family saver. If he's not feeling on top of his game, I can prepare myself, give the kids a heads up and emotionally prepare myself.
What does depression feel like? Doug sent me a picture a while back and I don't know the original source but a few points stuck out for me.
- Depression is like a nightmare. I have no control of what's going on.
- I'm never good enough. I'll always be useless.
- It feels like an endless circle of guilt, pain, fear, weakness, failure.
- No one understands what you are feeling.
- Everything you do hurts and there's no getting away from it.
- Things that you used to enjoy, they don't bring any comfort to you.
- It's always feeling tired.
- It feels like it'll never end.
I don't know if Doug will ever be 'over it' but I do know that with medications, dietary change and a caring family, I'm pretty sure we'll continue to make it. It's been a long journey and although I don't think it's over, we've made some great progress.
Hi, I am not sure how I found your site but I sure do love you kids and of course all you have to say! I have struggled with depression since I was 9 and now I am 33. I do hold down a job, I have a wonderful daughter who is 6 and a family that usually loves me :) My ex-husband even though he took psycology in college he left me and our daughter. But my parents and sister and her family are my family. ok, back to my point if I had one, sorry. My depression is concidered very hard to treat and I can totally feel for you husband and how he feels, I give him my prayers. But I also see how hard it is for the rest of your family and give you all my prayers. Depression never goes aways, sorry but it can get better. Just please from the bottom of my heart be patient with him and don't leave him as my husband left us. You all are a very strong family. Take Care Lisa
ReplyDeleteHi Lisa,
DeleteThanks for visiting my blog. I'm sorry that ou suffer from this. Leaving my husband isn't an option and I would never get to that point. Thanks for sharing and being honest.
Stephanie
Stephanie, I am so glad you are sharing this. I know it isn't always easy to say, "Hey, we have problems! Look at us over here!" My husband went through severe anxiety issues a while back and it's not easy at all. I don't think I had the guts to share what was going on, though, so kudos to you and I pray that even if you don't "get over it" that you'll come to an even deeper love for each other. I also pray that God gives you extra patience, compassion, and endurance. (And lots of encouragement, too!)
ReplyDelete