Depression Part 4 (My Point of View)

Doug's medications had been working quite well together for a while now, but over a coffee a few weeks ago, we talked about how the meds keep him from reaching the lows that occurred but also prevent him from experiencing high emotions as well. There were also an increasing number of inconsistent days where dips would appear. So, he checked in with his doctor who increased the dosage of one medication... but Doug quickly  proved to be in the 1-2% of people who suffer from adverse side effects and went downhill. He felt a buzzing or tingling inside his head and became more down than he had before. He couldn't stay at work for a full day, lasting no longer than 1:00pm before leaving for the day.

It was an extremely rough couple of weeks for us.

Last Wednesday, Doug texted me about how he was doing (not good) and I felt like I reached a point where I did not know what to do anymore. I have been praying for and about this for months and that day, I told God "I don't know what to say anymore- I feel done." And my heart broke just a little more for my husband who was struggling emotionally even more than me. On Friday, he went back to the doctor because clearly, this path was not working for any of us. He was given another medication and was told it only takes 2-4 days to begin working and that we should notice a difference quite soon. Because the other medication was still in his system, the weekend was pretty bumpy. We kept busy by painting the interior of our main floor but Doug's energy and focus really suffered. It was finally yesterday that I began to see a change in him. (The first being that he spent the whole day at work compared to the previous week of being unable to do that.) 

It is hard to put into words of how it felt to know your husband is suffering with extremely sad emotions, tiredness and has a very dull outlook on life. I wanted to be so careful of how I reacted to him, cautious of what I'd say and ensure that the house stayed at a fairly calm level of activity. He was supposed to be my strength and rock - but that was not the case this time. I was continually pulled to Psalm 62:2, 5-8 which reads:

2 He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will never be shaken.

5 Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. 

6 He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. 

7 My salvation and my honour depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. 

8 Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. 

God is my refuge. God is my rock. God is my strength. And in Him, I find hope. 

Romans 5:3-5 says: 3 "Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. "

These verses say that Christians are expected to experience suffering and the response to suffering is to rejoice. How do we do that? By knowing that my faith enables me to know that suffering is productive. 

What does suffering produce? Perseverance. A steadiness to hang in there and not falter under pressure. Perseverance produces a character that says "I will not let this destroy me" and I will have the strength to get through it. And character produces hope. Hope that I will share the Glory of God. Christ's image is being produced in me and I am becoming more like Jesus who emulates compassion, love, strength, purity and patience. 

God knows what I need - the commitment to hold on when I want to let go, the qualities I need for tomorrows and the certainty of God's promises. He is faithful time and time again. Through all the hills and valleys of this journey of life on earth. He shows me mercy and grace and His love is unfailing. 

Photo by Stephanie

Pediatrician Appointment {09.18.14}

For the first time (ever?) Sarah did not cry at the doctor's appointment. She wasn't exactly cheerful but she wasn't in her typical meltdown mood. It was just a quick weigh in and measure up check so we were in and out within 15 minutes.

She's doing just fine and the pediatrician said I'm doing "too good of a job of caring for her." And with that, he said we didn't have to come back for SIX months unless I had any concerns and we can come in at any time.

She is 43 inches tall (6th percentile), 37 pounds (4th percentile) and her head is 46 centimeters (-3.5 units below Standard Deviation). This measurement has not changed since last December.

Last Sunday, I got a little pony tail in her hair for church! She didn't love it but tolerated it. 

I thought she looked SO cute!

School: My Thoughts, Views and Our Story

~ Homeschooling isn't just about academics, it's a lifestyle. 

And it's what we've chosen for our kids. ~

When Joshua was five years old, I began exploring school options for him. A friend of ours had been homeschooling their son who was a year older than Joshua and really encouraged me to try it out. The thought of it was overwhelming and so we ended up sending him to kindergarten that fall. The year was rough on him. He was frequently bored and spent much time away from others because he'd be done sooner than the others and would become a distraction. The teacher was fresh out of college and this was her first year. I had no idea what to do either and having the mind-set of "finish what we began", he endured the 10 months of kindergarten. I knew I had to do something different for grade one so I did some research and the next year, he was registered for school at home. He flew through the grade one books that I bought and it quickly became clear that moving at his pace was the way to go.

In the meantime, Andrea was in the same kindergarten that Joshua was. Her time in the classroom was alright but she had her first taste of physical bullying at the young age of five. I wish I was bolder and braver then because I wouldn't have made her endure the year. Why nothing was done, I don't know. Even though that is in the past, some of those memories still rise up in her. She too began the homeschooling adventure when she was in grade one.

The year was pretty busy with a grade two, grade one and toddler hanging out but we did it. Lots of reading together, writing and staying on target with their Language Arts.

I have tried lots of different home education formats. From being 100% aligned with the curriculum guidelines to the opposite end of the spectrum, being traditional to a blended program where the kids went to school twice a week and I homeschooled the other three days. For three and a half years, the blended program worked really well. Arianna was in grade one, Andrea grade five and Joshua grade six. In February of 2011, Doug and I made the choice to take the kids out of the school system and begin full time homeschooling again.

Since 2011, the kids have stayed on target with their math and LA skills. For science we did units on astronomy and social looked at some government and Bible history. Last year was a little different as Joshua was preparing to transition into the local high school. He did aligned courses in math, LA and social and did very well. He didn't do the science course. Was he unprepared for what grade 10 had to offer? Probably. Will he succeed? Absolutely.

Andrea is currently in grade nine. She is doing an aligned math curriculum and her LA skills will come out as she writes essays and reports on the medieval history lessons that she's reading about. For science this year, both girls are doing Anatomy and Physiology together. Arianna is working on grade five level vocabulary, spelling, reading and writing and her social is learning about the geography of Canada. Andrea intends to continue and complete her education at home. I don't know what that looks like today... I'm not looking at next fall yet. I also know her character and work ethic and believe with all my heart that she will succeed in whatever she does. If she choses to change her mind, then that will be okay but for now, I'm sure that she will do her high school years in the dining room.

Homeschooling the kids was not a choice that Doug and I made lightly. We prayed about it often, and still do. Until we feel led otherwise, we believe that this is the best choice for our kids and our family.

Grade 10

In 2004, I sent my first born off to kindergarten.

For the past nine years I have been a vital part of Joshua's education through homeschooling. We endured the lows and rejoiced in the highs. It has been a wonderful experience to get him to this point in his life. Today, I dropped him off at the same high school that Doug and I attended 20 years ago. 

I hope and pray that the next three formative years go well for him. I've given him all the tools I could in order to succeed. 

Today I sent my first born off to grade 10!

Blog Birthday!

Seven years ago, I began writing and journaling through this blog. I've taken a bit of a break for the month of August, but hopefully will get back into it once fall rolls around.

Fear

Have you ever been afraid of something or of doing something? I'm talking so afraid that the thought of doing it is paralyzing? I really hadn't thought of myself as being a fearful person until something occurred four weeks ago. When I received the news that I have multiple PVC's in my heart beat, I very quickly thought that walking wasn't going to be good for me any more. Looking back, obviously that wasn't (and isn't) the case but I was not to be convinced otherwise at the time. After being told the news of my heart, I stopped walking. For three weeks I didn't leave my house on foot. I couldn't even leave my driveway unless I was in the van. One morning I mustered up (what I thought was enough) courage. I tied up my shoes and headed out. And physically was unable to push myself to walk. I was paralyzed with fear and could not go further. I won't go into details about that but I'm thankful for the loving encouragement that came from some friends that morning.

This fear that I struggled with was not from God, but rather Satan who wanted to interfere with my growing relationship with God. The fear of walking also stemmed from some emotional stuff I was going through. A few days after I delivered my testimony, I began to question if I should have done it or not. I was consumed with seconding guessing myself, fearing the judgement of others and doubting if what I experienced was even real. I spent many hours pouring over my Bible, praying and asking friends to intercede in prayer as well. It was a really tough battle and at times I wondered if I'd be able to pull myself out of the pit.

During this time, God never left my side. He was patiently waiting with His hand stretched out, just longing for me to reach out and trust Him. Trust Him with my life, my health, my family, my friends, my everything. On July 29, I woke up with God saying to me "Okay Stephanie, time for reconciliation. I surrendered my guilt, fears, questioning doubt, my faults and failures and laid them at His feet. I began to have the sense that if I was able to conquer the fear of walking, a door would be opened for me and my walk with Jesus would grow to a deeper level. On August 2, I stepped out in faith and went for a short walk for the first time in 21 days.

So what did I learn?

Fear is not from God, it brings torment to our soul and it is a manifestation of the kingdom of darkness. Satan uses fear to stop us from fulfilling the call of God; it is one of the devil's greatest weapons. Fear causes doubt, second guessing and it can paralyze us from doing what is right in God's sight. It also prevents us from trusting in Him with ourselves. Second Timothy 1:7 says "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, of love and of a sound mind." God desired to free me from the bondage of fear and it was up to me to change my thinking.

Since then I have ventured on a few walks. I haven't made it up to the distance and time that I was at earlier this summer but I believe that with time it will come. God will provide me with the strength I need. He will protect me, remove my fears and doubts and NEVER leave my side.

Psalm 56:3 "What I am afraid, I will trust in you."

"The Words of Our Testimony"

Every Sunday morning, our pastor begins the service with "What has God been doing in your life this week?" allowing people to share something that is important to them. I've never spoken up in part because I'm never prepared and I'm not really a spur-of-the-moment kind of person.

Well, last Monday, Doug suggested that I consider sharing at church, something that occurred last week. I’ll begin with the events that preceded that, some of which he talked about last Sunday. I’m a writer so what I say today will be very much like a story being told but that’s the way I do things. Today, for almost six minutes, I overcame my incredible fear of speaking to large groups and shared this with our church. I'm thankful for the friend who stood by me as I spoke and I'm convinced that she was holding me up so I didn't collapse on the floor. 

Last December, I embarked on a journey that has changed my life forever. It began with the question of “What is my relationship with God like?” Followed by “How would I like my relationship with God to change?” The past seven months have seen my walk with Jesus change in ways I didn’t even know were possible. I went from thinking my relationship with God was me talking, Him listening but nothing more, nothing deeper, to learning that God is so much more than just One who listens. And I have learned to listen back. 

Like Doug mentioned last week, it has been 15 years since my mum died of congestive heart failure. She was 44 years old. Eight years ago, my mum’s brother had a heart transplant. Their mum died of a heart attack at 56. The genetics don’t really seem to be in my favour. I had some routine lab work done on the 9th of July. I wasn’t worried much until the next day when the doctor called and said I needed to come in and discuss my results. I just thought and hoped that it would be something like my thyroid or a vitamin deficiency. The next day, as I was getting ready for the doctor appointment, I heard a voice in my head say “You will have something to say about this. Believe in me.”  

The doctor said my blood work was normal and fine which could only mean a heart issue. I received the news that I have something called multiple PVCs which means my heart has a lot of extra beats in the normal rhythm. In a person with no heart issues, this wouldn’t be a problem or even exist, but with my family history, I needed to get checked out further. Friday afternoon brought a friend over and we shared a coffee and prayer time on my back deck. That evening I wrote in my journal “I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. And my God will meet all [my] needs according to His glorious riches.” Philippians 4:13 & 19. I was confident that God had it and I didn’t need to fret about it. So far, so good. Later that afternoon I received an encouraging text that said, “He is all that He says He is. Lean on Him, listen to His heartbeat. Believe in Him! He has good plans.”

Early the next morning, was Saturday and as I was doing my devotions, I heard the same voice whisper “You’ll have a story to tell.”  I kept telling myself that I needed to believe I could be healed. I had been having a few really good weeks. God was good to me. Then this heart stuff came. Had I become comfortable in my faith? Comfort would rob me of my dependency on God and in my trials, I would need to turn to Him so He could answer my prayers and receive the glory. 

That night, I believe I suffered from a panic attack. My heart began to pound and race, my blood pressure read numbers higher than Doug’s were, my chest felt tight, I was light headed and even in my 30 degree bedroom, I felt cold. I don’t know how long it lasted but it was close to half an hour. Although my heart was still racing I managed to fall into a restless, fitful sleep. I told Doug the next morning what had occurred and he lovingly encouraged me to tell him sooner if it happened again. 

Last week Sunday while the ladies were praying for me, my chest felt warm and the pounding of my heart calmed down as L prayed over me and I felt a physical relief. Because the scare from the attack was still vivid in my mind, I had a hard time making myself relax on Sunday, my heart was still in overdrive. That afternoon I was constantly checking my blood pressure and finally around 4:00, it had reached a level that was more to what I was used to. Then I heard something in my head tell me “Do not check it any more.”  I was drawn to John 14:27 which in the New Living Translation says,“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” I don’t know how many times I read it over and over. I wanted peace. I needed peace… Something that only He could give.

It was still a pretty rough afternoon for me as I remembered my mom but I received lengthy and uplifting texts from a friend and a dozen yellow roses from Doug’s parents, which were always my mum’s favorites.

Initially, I wasn’t going to visit the cemetery but around 7:30, I had this urge to get out of the house and simply be alone. When I arrived there I cried. Lots. And I prayed, pouring out my heart to my Father. I asked God to heal me completely from my backaches to my headaches and that when I see the cardiologist, he sees nothing wrong. I cried some more. After chatting with a friend by texting, I then received a message that said “Crying breaks down the walls around our heart and that’s when we can become vulnerable enough for the Holy Spirit to start working.” I replied that if that’s the case, then the walls of my heart must just be a pile of dust. I turned to face the headstone, looking towards the sunset which was behind some trees. I looked up, with my eyes closed and the sun got brighter and brighter, blindingly so. It was almost red and my eyes were not even physically able to open. My face got hot. Not that yucky sweaty hot but a dry burning hot. And then I felt a physical peace cover me. I believe with all my heart that the Holy Spirit had come!  Then as the intensity dimmed, I knew that my time there was over. I shared this experience with Doug and even after I got home, I could still feel the heat on my face which lasted for the remainder of the evening.

I cried many tears, surrendered myself to God many times. On Sunday night, Doug and I prayed against anything spiritual in our bedroom that may have caused the attack the previous evening and we slept better that night that we had in weeks. I woke up on Monday morning feeling such peace in my soul.  This stayed with me until Tuesday. But on Wednesday I could feel the exhilaration start to fade and by Thursday night I began to question if I should even share what happened. I was filled with doubt and it was as though I had been depleted of all hope and peace.

I woke up on Friday morning determined to turn those negative feelings around again. I had two hours with God before anyone else had woken up and I had read a chapter in David Chotka’s book that speaks on the “words of our testimony”.  It tells of the need to commit to talk about Jesus when the opportunity arises, how God’s grace was experienced and the reality of Jesus. That was the exact confirmation that I needed. And so here I am now. Sharing with you what God has done in MY life this week.

I’m not sure what the next step is or where God will take me. But, in the words of my mum, God is and all is well. 

First Teeth!

Sarah's bottom two teeth have been loose for a while now and on Friday I could see that they were hardly attached. I knew they had to come out and I didn't want them to get swallowed because I felt Sarah shouldn't just have them disappear. I thought trying to explain that they were in her tummy would be more traumatic than taking them out myself. Well, she cried, in fact fought it terribly, but I won this one! She recovered quickly and when asked how she felt, she replied with "Happy!" I had told her that when they came out I'd take her to the store for a treat. When I asked her if she wanted to go out, she only asked for chocolate chips. Since she has no concept of the "tooth fairy" or money, this was an easy exchange - teeth for chocolate chips!

Sunday's Song: Overcome

Seated above, enthroned in the Father's love
Destined to die, poured out for all mankind
God's only Son, perfect and spotless one
He never sinned but suffered as if He did

All authority
Every victory is Yours
All authority
Every victory is Yours

Savior, worthy of honor and glory
Worthy of all our praise, You overcame
Jesus, awesome in power forever
Awesome and great is Your name, You overcame

Power in hand speaking the Father's plan
You're sending us out, light in this broken land

We will overcome by the blood of the Lamb
And the word of our testimony, everyone overcome

July 13, 2014

On Sunday, it will be fifteen years since my life was forever altered. After suffering for such a long time with a sick heart, God called my Mum to her final home in Heaven. At one point I wondered how I would ever survive without her since she was such a vital part of my life. By the grace of God though, I have survived and survived well. Babies have been born, miscarriages occurred, funerals have been attended to, my kids are successful in school and my marriage is still strong.

I wish I could though, just for one day go back in time and retain more of what she was like. I would write about her life, her childhood, her stories. I would record her voice so I could hear say words of encouragement and tell me she loves me. I would take more pictures of the two of us and more with my siblings together. When someone passes away, there are no more photographs. You only have those that you've taken and can hang on to those precious memories. My mum was always behind the lens of the camera so there are actually very few photos of her. One fall day, we booked a photographer and had our family pictures done. My dad had requested an individual picture of my mom and the photographer managed to capture every ounce of beauty that my mum possessed.

She was beautiful inside and out. She took great care in how she looked and was always well made up. Even at the end. She loved her family passionately and took great care of us. Family was very important to her and time together was spent at the lake, skiing in the mountains and one final family trip to Florida in 1994. She always enjoyed a good cup of tea and was willing to drink it with just about anyone who would sit with her.

When I write about my mum, I feel like I write the same things over and over. I want people to know how much I love her and how much she is missed. Even after fifteen years, the dull ache is still in my heart as I remember the woman who was such a critical part of who I am today.

March 23, 1955 - July 13, 1999

In loving memory of Shirley Van Neck

My Mum

Tuesday's Tidbits

It's been a while since I last blogged so I thought I'd give a quick recap of what's been going on here!

• Last Sunday night, we held a grade nine grad party for Joshua (and me) as we successfully completed our nine years of homeschooling together. We invited his grandparents as well as the youth group (and their families) from Calahoo. It was a great evening with lots of laughter, a blessing on Joshua by our pastor and prayers by his grandpas and friends. What a huge blessing that was on us.
• Joshua is into his second week of summer school. He's taking CALM and gym... I think it's a good transition into the upcoming high school year. He's learning to get up on time and taking responsibility for what needs to be done.
• Andrea has been working as a dayhome provider's assistant. She's putting in between 10 and 15 hours a week which is keeping her a little busy but still allowing her to spend a lot of time at home.
• Arianna is just enjoying summer like a 10 year old should. She takes long walks with me, almost every day and loves being outside. 
• Sarah is doing well. She loves playing with "P'ayobil" (Playmobil) and it's been fun to watch her imagination spark with her hours of play. She enjoys being outside but the conditions have to be right in order for her to not be overwhelmed. She doesn't like the wind and too much noise drives her inside. 
• Doug is doing good. He is busy with work and supporting his friendships. He has a desire to build these male relationships and I love seeing his heart at work. The depression days come and go and I again realized that even just the wrong presentation of how I speak can be hard on him. Every day presents itself new and until he's in it, we can't really predict how it will go. It means continually trusting God in this part of his life and leaving it in His hands.
• Me? I'm doing quite well. I have been digging deep into the Word and am feeling God's presence near me. He has become so real to me and the past seven months have been life changing. I've made peace with a few things that have been lingering on my heart and the peace that I'm experiencing now is amazing. God is working in my life as well as the lives of those around me and it's exciting to see His power! 
• I love summer. I put up with long cold winters and I genuinely enjoy the hot summer days. I like walking, being outside and enjoying the sun! The forecasted 30* at the end of this week bring a smile to my face and I am looking forward to it.

Happy Tuesday everyone! Enjoy your day!

Wisdom From a Friend

"The mountains never stop appearing; they just get easier to climb.  As I have said before, you have had a loss of what you thought Sarah's life would be.  Even though she is perfect and delightful as she is, it is not what you expected nor what you wanted for her; it is okay to be sad because you are also able to be joyful."

Birthday Fun

We began Sarah's birthday with the one and only present she asked for. A wagon. Doug and Joshua assembled the wagon the night before. I wrapped the empty box so she would have something to open but the wagon was just sitting in the dining room. Before she even started to open it, she asked me, "Issa wagon? Issa wagon?" Thankfully, it WAS the wagon. I have no idea how I would try to explain otherwise.

She was barely awake and could hardly open her eyes.

At church, we sung to her and her grin just grew as she knew it was about her! 

We decided that in order to reduce the amount of busyness and stress on her, we'd have a very low-key, quiet afternoon. She's not a fan of cake but she loves the two bite brownies that can be bought. I topped them off with a dollop of pink icing and she was delighted!

Later on in the day, I took Sarah for the maiden voyage in her wagon. She was delighted and when I told her that the wagon needed to stay in the garage, she replied with, "But, the wagon wants to be inna house!" The wagon is still in the house.

Because this was the first year that her birthday has meant anything to her, it was extra fun to treat her in a special way. There came a point in the evening when her little world came crashing down. Bedtime. We had put the toys away, cleaned up after the party mess and began the trek upstairs. I fondly refer to it as the post-birthday meltdown.

I sat with her in her bed until her breathing settled down and she finally fell asleep. As much as I love celebrating my kids' birthdays, I do enjoy the next day when things are quiet and returning to normal!

Happy Birthday Sarah! I hope you had a great day!

Sarah, You Are SIX! (Warning: Many photos)

Six years ago today, I went into the hospital ready to meet our fourth baby. I was nine days overdue and I had a very important wedding to attend the following weekend. I didn't want to be pregnant for it, nor did I want to miss it due to being in the hospital. After an afternoon of labor, shortly after 9:00 that evening, our much awaited for baby made her entrance into the world. Barely tipping the scale at 6 pounds and no taller than 17 inches, Sarah was by far our smallest newborn. Doug actually had to go and buy a preemie sleeper for us to take her home in. As I reflect on this day in complete wonder at this tiny baby and who she's become to us, I am nearly brought to tears as the love for her is so great.

About six weeks ago, we celebrated Joshua and Arianna's birthdays. Sarah thought it should be hers too and so, since then, we have been telling her that her birthday was coming soon. And she reminded us of that fact frequently. A short time after that, she said she wanted a present for her birthday. When I asked her what she wanted in the present, she replied, "a wagon". This request didn't change. Ever. Last night, I went out and bought her the one thing she asked for. The main reason we decided to get her exactly what she requested is because this is the first time that she's had an awareness of her birthday AND it's the first time she's even made such a request and didn't change it. She fully expected a wagon and to not get it would disappoint her and I'd be unable to explain it.

 Two Years Old

 Three Years Old

 Four Years Old (finally her hair started to grow)

Four Years Old

Five Years Old

The day after the dental surgery

My coffee loving baby

SIX years old!

Oh littlest daughter, I can't believe you are turning six years old. Occasionally, on birthdays I will post a certain number of things about the celebrated one. Six doesn't seem like enough things, 72 (months) is a LOT to think of. So, I will just start writing tid-bits about you and who you are on this birthday!

1. You are SO fun to be around.
2. You love everyone and seem to have a few favorite people in your life.
3. You don't eat meat.
4. You don't eat (most) veggies.
5. You love peanut butter, Ritz crackers, goldfish crackers and french fries.
6. When we laugh at your antics, you reply with "Whatchoo waffing at?"
7. Spending time outside is one of your favorite things to do.
8. Parks are fun but only if there is no one else there.
9. Loud, sudden noises will make you stop whatever you are doing.
10. You are still terrified of the medical community.
11. You weigh 34 pounds.
12. Sleepers are still your most favorite article of clothing.
13. Curious George still ranks as one of the tops shows that you watch. 
14. You also enjoy Frozen, Mickey Mouse, Garfield and Little House on the Prairie.
15. The iPad is a {necessary} tool that you use frequently during the day.
16. Developmentally, you talk and act like a three year old.
17. You love playing with your Playmobile sets. 
18. You are sleeping all night, in your own bed. 
19. Number 18 requires Arianna to be with you till you fall asleep.
20. Although you like pretty much everyone, there's a few extra special people in your life. 
21. Asking me for a "hug-uppy" or "I need a cungle" still makes my heart melt and I'm always happy to oblige.
22. You refer to my iPhone as the "George phone". 
23. You are my early bird riser and enjoy the last few sips of my coffee when you come down.
24. You can count to 10 but still skip the number 4. I don't know why. 
25. You can identify a circle, square, star and kite shape.
26. Colors are still not used correctly with much consistency yet.
27. You can tell when there are "two" of something and you'll say they match.
28. Going to Sobeys and sitting in the big cart with a cookie bring you such delight.
29. You are easy to please. 
30. I'm glad you are still small enough to sit in the stroller while we go for walks. 
31. God has blessed us with you. I thank him daily for letting us be your family and being given the privilege of raising you. He has made you so perfect in his sight and knew exactly what he was doing when he made us your mum and dad.