Definition: the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, problems, or suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious.
Sometimes Sarah gets into a state of mind that is (almost) impossible to figure out. After a nice visit at Grandma's this afternoon, and once we arrived at home, Andrea took Sarah's hoodie and boots off. This led to a huge tearful meltdown and the time was about 4:20pm. When the cries subsided enough for me to understand that she wanted her coat and boots back on, I gave in and helped her get re-dressed. She didn't stay settled for long and the crying continued. Despite my efforts to offer her a movie, food or water, she was inconsolable. During this time, I was also trying to get supper made and I was beginning to feel a bit frazzled. I ran upstairs and brought her a fuzzy sleeper, thinking a change of clothes would help "organize" herself. Doug began to change her with no difference in her crying. We tried talking to her and encouraged her to tell us what was wrong but to no avail. Due to the lack of oxygen from her crying, I felt compelled to at least try to help. Once she was jammied and I scooped her up in my arms, she calmed down a little. I still needed to finish with supper and Doug was willing to snuggle her with the iPad and a movie. It ended up being a Curious George game that snapped her out of it. I'm sure it was close to 30 minutes before she calmed down although it seemed way longer.
This was one of those times that I was sad and frustrated. I did what I thought would help her the most and nothing but crying herself out helped. Referring back to the definition at the top, the key for Doug and I was to accept her frustration WITHOUT becoming annoyed or anxious. That would be and is the toughest part of these episodes which occur every few days.
This also happens in our household and you're right...the toughest part of being patient is to tough it out without being anxious or annoyed. For Kyle, it does seem to help to just let him cry it out and it's not uncommon for him to cry for about 30 minutes, like your daughter. I find that the more I try to figure out what is wrong, the more frustrated I get and it doesn't even help him. He just needs to get it out of his system sometimes. You're not alone!
ReplyDeleteYes, I do agree. Keeping calm and patient during these times is crucial. It always makes matters worse for us if Bethany senses we are annoyed, or worse, if Malcolm and I argue about it. Sometimes no matter how hard we try we just can't figure out what triggers her meltdowns or how to help her. Thanks for sharing your insight with us at FF!
ReplyDeleteUgh, I'm sorry to say that I can relate! Keeping yourself calm and regulated in the midst of helping a kiddo through a meltdown has got to be one of the most challenging things a person can do. Kudos to you two for navigating through this one with such grace and resilience!
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