Time

The age spread between my four kids is just over nine years. I have two teenagers, a 10 year old and an almost six year old. Before Sarah was born, my days started early and were full but I always had quiet evenings to myself. This quiet time allowed me to reflect on the day's events, enjoy some alone time and begin to think about what we'd be doing the next day. Of course having a newborn means pretty much giving up all your time, 24 hours a day. Unlike many children who sleep through the night within the first one or two years, Sarah was up at least once a night sometimes more, up until this past February. We gently parented her into learning how to sleep in the same bed as Arianna without needing to come to me in the middle of the night. She has always been a little morning person. She and I spend an hour or two together before the rest of the house wakes up which includes watching a movie and sharing a cup of coffee.

"You have to share wiff me your coffee, right Mum?"

Although I try to enjoy these quiet times with just her, the older kids no longer go to bed at 8:00 which means I am down to very little "me" time. I don't mean to be selfish. I love my kids with all my heart and I absorb the early mornings with Sarah or the late night chats with my teens. But I also am a separate person, outside of being a parent. For a while I was able to enjoy the mornings by getting up before everyone else. That meant setting an alarm for about 5:00am. This would give me time to have a solo cup of coffee, read my Bible and emotionally prepare for the day. For a few weeks now, a certain "someone" has been waking up around 5:15 to 5:30. It's hard not to feel like my time is being taken from me. I value some alone time. It's like it's the fuel for my day, spending time with God and preparing for what the day holds.

I let those negative feelings reside in me for much of the day and it took till mid afternoon before I decided I wouldn't let the weather or busyness of my day keep me inside. I am thankful for the encouragement of a friend and finally a walk in the rain. I took my early riser, plopped her in her Chariot and headed outside this afternoon. I was able to enjoy the sound of rain hitting the ground and the smell of a clean earth that could only be designed and created by my God.