Daybook {03.23.13}

For Today: March 23, 2012

Outside my window... another 10-20 centimeters of snow has fallen this past week.  Sometimes I wonder if spring will ever arrive.

I am thinking... that I will begin spring cleaning next week!

I am thankful... for the week long visit Andrea was able to have with her friend from Toronto.  We've done a lot of fun things and I hope they made a bunch of memories to last a long time.

In the kitchen... Sarah is watching Curious George and its still pretty tidy from last night's clean up.

I am wearing... baggy pajama pants and an oversized shirt of Doug's.

I am creating... less clutter.  Everyday (it seems) I go through another room or space in the house to reduce the amount of *stuff* we have.

I am going... to do some wheat free (experiemental) baking today.

I am wondering...

I am reading... The Guardian by Nicolas Sparks and Little Women by Louisa May Alcott

I am hoping... to get back on the treadmill again.  Finding the time to take 20-30 minutes to myself seems so tough these days and I feel like I need to make my physical activity a priority.

I am looking forward to... a family dinner with my in law's this afternoon.  It's been a while since we've all been together.

I am learning... to be proactive, not reactive when dealing with the kids.  This can be a hard lesson for both sides sometimes.

Around the house... needs cleaning.  A lot of cleaning.

A favorite quote for today... "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." 
-- Albert Einstein

One of my favorite things... my Keurig that is ready and waiting to make that much anticipated cup of coffee for me every morning.  And the small children who snuggle in close to share it with me.

A few plans for the rest of the weekend... just the usual house cleaning, laundry kind of days.  We'll go to church tonight but that's about it.

Happy Birthday Momma

Happy Birthday to my Mom.  The woman who I still look up to, admire and strive to be like.

I think she must be so proud of her kids, kids-in-law and grandchildren.  I hope that

she's able to get a little glimpse into our lives here and think "They're doing really good."

March 23, 2013

Sometimes I Forget

Although Sarah is four years and nine months old, it takes a little action like this to remind me that inside she is SO much younger.

The day had started off like normal except that the bonus room needed a really good cleaning and I had two kids who needed math assistance.  So they hung out with me and I cleaned and taught.  Once Joshua had finished, I sent him down to unload the dishwasher.  From upstairs I hear in a voice that was purely disbelieve "Sarah Anne..." Before I could head down to check it out, Joshua carried up a flour covered little girl who was positively happy as a lark.  Arianna took her to the bath and I surveyed the damage.  What. A Mess.  It took me a full hour to sweep, vacuum and finally wash out everything that was covered.  

The one tupperware container towards the rear right of the picture is filled with Apple Jacks, Corn Flakes, Nutri-Grain bars and flour.  Notice that she took off her sleeper too?  It's right behind the box of rice.  That was thoughtful of her!

If you look carefully, the Nutri-Grain bar wrappers are nicely cut open.  The knife used to cut those is from Pampered Chef and has an 8" long blade... the knife was hiding UNDER the flour.  Yes.  It was that deep.  I'm thanking God that she wasn't hurt.  

When I look back to when Sarah was chronologically 2.5/3 years old, she was more like 12-18 months old and not looking for trouble in the ways that she is now.  It's as though we are hitting the "two's" just a few years later than others would.  I wouldn't call them the "terrible two's" but they are certainly trying.  I am off to buy doorknob covers and I will need to re-think where I store my knives.  I did have to catch myself in being frustrated because I don't know if she knew better or not.  She isn't almost five in that sense.  

On the positive side, her tiny, flour covered body was so laughable.  And I did laugh.  A lot.  Her innocence and sweetness is so charming. 

Wheat Free Journey (Update #2)

One of the most common questions I am asked when I tell them that we don't eat wheat and have reduced our gluten intake is "what DO you eat?" We are by no means going hungry.  I've listed below the foods that I do eat and enjoy.

• Glutino brand crackers - this satisfies the desire for something crunchy.  They come in a variety of flavours and are really good.
• All fruits and vegetables - not much else to say about that.
• Bob's Red Mill Pancake mix - one of our favorites.  Lots of flavour and really quite good
• There's also other mixes for cookies, muffins, breads and other baked goods
• Popcorners and Chee-Cha Puffs are two other favorite snacks of ours as well
• I've bought gluten-free corn flakes and rice crispies. 
• The pastas I buy are either rice or corn based.  The kids like them both.
• I make lots of quinoa as well.

One of the biggest things to get used to is no bread.  I haven't quite mastered how to make the best wheat free bread and so we've gone without.  I've ordered gluten free pizzas, had chicken burgers with a gluten free bun and if all else fails, I'll eat some fries and make something at home.  I've created lots of salads and with The Organic Box delivering our fruits and veggies every week, there's no shortage of produce in the house.  I have purchased a few different non-wheat flour varieties and so that's helped keep my love of baking going.  Rice flour is drier than others when used as a base but there's some gluten and wheat-free all purpose baking flours that do the job well.  I love shopping at The Bulk Barn as they have all kinds of bulk wheat-free flours, pastas and snacks.  Home Grown Foods in Stony Plain is also great for wheat free options.  

As far as how we feel... Doug feels really good.  He's lost a significant amount of weight and even complained about his jeans being too big!  I haven't lost much but I feel healthier and less 'full' all the time.  It's been a really positive change for us and I can certainly see this as a lifestyle that will benefit our family.

Contest!

I'm blogging to add another entry for me to win this devotional!

http://samicone.com/an-unorthodox-easter-story-tommy-nelson-march-blog/comment-page-1/#comment-13828

March is Cerebral Palsy Awareness Month

http://www.pagecovers.com/view_cover/cerebral_palsy_awareness.html

"Cerebral palsy (CP) is a disorder that affects muscle tone, movement, and motor skills (the ability to move in a coordinated and purposeful way). Cerebral palsy can also lead to other health issues, including vision, hearing, and speech problems, and learning disabilities.

CP is usually caused by brain damage that occurs before or during a child's birth, or during the first 3 to 5 years of a child's life. There is no cure for CP, but treatment, therapy, and special equipment can help a child who is living with the condition.  Cerebral palsy affects muscle control and coordination, so even simple movements like standing still are difficult. Other vital functions that also involve motor skills and muscles such as breathing, bladder and bowel control, eating, and learning may also be affected when a child has CP. Cerebral palsy does not get worse over time."

Stepping back in time to November 24, 2011...  Together, Doug and I went to Sarah's appointment to follow up from the MRI that was done a week or so before.  I am so thankful that his job at the time, allowed him the flexibility to attend this one with me.  I couldn't have done it alone.  We were told that medically speaking, Sarah's "corpus callosum" is slightly thinned.  This means that the connection between the two halves of the brain is not as thick as it should be, therefore causing the delays. In Doug's not so medical terms, he confirmed that Sarah's brain is simply wired differently.  Not wrong or bad, just different. 

They also found that there is "periventricular white matter" , consistent with "periventricular gliosis", WHICH as I understand, is the cause of her balance issues. 

All these findings are likely caused by a lack of oxygen to Sarah's brain while I was pregnant with her.  The doctor told us that his diagnosis for Sarah is a mild form of Cerebral Palsy.   

And now...

Today, she is still Sarah.  No more, no less.  She is still the sweet little girl that she was even without a diagnosis.  She loves Curious George, Harry Potter (you should see what her big sister has taught her!), pink cheerios, bananas, water and her people.  In addition to her immediate family, Grandma, Lucy, Ben, Rosie and "Auntie 'Eesha" are among the ones we hear the most about. She loves pretend play, stuffed animals and her blankets.  She is sweet, charming and manages to capture the hearts of everyone around her.  

Nothing has changed other than our awareness.  We still don't know what her future holds, we likely won't for a long time and that's ok.  There is no cure for Cerebral Palsy because the damage is done.  Brains can't be fixed.  But there is therapies and treatments.  And professionals who are passionate about these kids.  Sarah's EI coordinator is amazing.  We only have four more months of Early Intervention and then our time with them is over.  That makes me sad and slightly nervous.  Wendy has become someone I trust and appreciate.  She's encouraged me all the way and supported all of my decisions.  She's offered tools, toys, websites and information all on how I can help Sarah through some of the struggles she has.  

Sarah is simply amazing.  I couldn't have asked for a greater blessing to be part of my life.  She has taught me so much and I am continuing to learn more every day.  

This blog post was inspired by Because Miracles Happen.

Pediatrician Appointment {02.26.13}

The day dawned bright and clear for our quarterly pediatrician appointment.  Much to my dismay, the little patient woke up kind of "off" her normal self.  I wasn't totally surprised since I've noticed that for about 3 days now, she's been whiny and her appetite had diminished.  Today was no exception.  She didn't eat anything, even when offered pink cheerios and bananas which are her favorites.  She cried when I got her dressed and complained most of the way to the city.

We arrived with time to spare and waited just a few minutes before being ushered into the room.  And then the nurse walked in.  And then the waterworks began.  It took two tries to get her weight done and you would have thought we were torturing her by trying to see how tall she was.  *sigh*  We quickly took a head circumference measurement and once the nurse was done, so was Sarah.  The desperation in her tear filled eyes as she pleaded with me to go home was almost too much for me to bear.  Every ounce in me wanted to scoop her up and bring her home to where she wanted but of course, we can't always do what they want.  And often it's for their benefit.  Sadly, she didn't understand.

Soon after, the doctor walked in and she greeted him with a "nice to meet you, bye".  He went through the whole check up process, looking at her ears, mouth, listening to her heart and lungs.  Everything checked out ok.  He was supportive of the cutting out dairy but did suggest we add some vitamin D and calcium supplements to her diet.  Some of the not-so-good news is that she didn't grow much at all since November.  Although he didn't appear overly concerned, he did encourage me to keep feeding her whatever we could.  I told him that I will be homeschooling her in the fall and would design a curriculum that would tailor to her specific needs and learning abilities.  He was good with that.

And the measurements are as follows:

Weight: 31.3 pounds, 5th percentile (31 pounds, 7th percentile in November)
Height: 39.6 inches, 10th percentile  (39 inches, 13th percentile in November)
Head circumference: 45.7cm, below-4 Standard Deviation (45 cm, -4 Standard Deviation in November) 

Minutes after we got home, she just laid on the floor... recovering.  It's really hard to me knowing that the medical profession is so stressful for her.

Depression (Part 1)

"A major depressive disorder — usually just called “depression” — is different than the “blues”. Someone experiencing depression is grappling with feelings of severe despair over an extended period of time. Almost every aspect of their life can be affected, including their emotions, physical health, relationships and work. For people with depression, it does not feel like there is a “light at the end of the tunnel” — there is just a long, dark tunnel."
LINK

I think depression is one of those things that people don't want to talk about too much.  Fear of the truth, not knowing what to say or how to react to it.  I have lived with depression for two years now.   I have decided to write about it because I feel there isn't as much support for those who live with one who suffers from this terrible disease.  This is my story...

When did it begin...
I don't know if it even "began" or if it was one of those things that kind of snuck up on us slowly.  I can't even remember when it all began but I do recall the drive on the day that I mentioned to Doug "maybe you're depressed."  He didn't shut me down, rather replied with a "maybe I am."  Doug had been on the board of elders at our church for a few years and he had just been elected to the Chairman role.  As his wife, I had noticed a few changes in his moods and personality but I just chalked them up to work-related stress in addition to being on a board and the recent news of Sarah's cerebral palsy.

I had sort of noticed things weren't quite the way they used to be.  A few days of being unhappy followed by a couple weeks of "normal".  I don't even remember how it came to be something that I brought up but shortly after that drive we took, Doug saw the doctor who confirmed our suspicions.  Shortly after the diagnosis, we began to find out that depression runs in his family. He started on some antidepressants in February 2011 which appeared to be working after a few weeks which was to be expected.  This is when things start to get a little foggy for me but we began to notice a decline in Doug's moods again.  To us, depression looked like being unable to participate in family time, the inability to be around large groups, preferring to spend time alone and a sense of being disconnected from the world around him.  I felt alone and sought refuge in my kids and friends.

The past two years have literally been a rollercoaster of emotions for all of us.  I feel like I have had to learn to love a different person than the one I married.  Of course, physically that's not the case but the person inside Doug's body had changed.  Quiet, withdrawn emotionally unstable.  For instance, I wouldn't know what to expect on a Saturday morning.  I would have to decide when (if) to wake him up.  I usually waffled between a few thoughts: one being angry.  This was usually the first thing I felt when the clock rolled past 9:00 and I just figured it was time for people to be up.  I mean I likely had been up since 6:30 already.  Honestly, I was frustrated: why should he get to sleep when I was up with the kids?  Another part of me felt it was a risk to wake him up.  Would he be in a "funk" or not?  There was a chance that his getting up wouldn't be good for any of us or maybe he'd be fine.  Kind of like gambling.

Another unknown was always after work.  What would he be like when he got home?  I tried hard to be a buffer between him and the kids when he walked in the door.  I knew that the rush of kids at the door all of them wanting to excitedly tell him about their day wouldn't be good.  Speaking of the kids, when Doug and I realized that this depression wasn't going away anytime soon, and he was on a doctor prescribed, two week medical leave from work, we told them what was going on.  We knew they needed to know why he was acting different and that it wasn't anything they did or that we could change.

Living on the other side of depression is really tough.  I. Don't. Get. It.  If I am in a bad mood, I'll go make a coffee, have a cookie and 'get over it', which I know people who fight depression CAN'T do.  There is always the lingering fear of saying or doing the wrong thing.  I wouldn't know Doug's triggers and I don't think he did either.  It could have been something as simple as having pancakes for supper or not ensuring the front entrance cleared up for him.  Again... everything seemed to be a gamble.

Doug shared this quote with me:

"Hemingway has his classic moment in "The Sun Also Rises" when someone asks Mike Campbell how he went bankrupt. All he can say is, "Gradually, then suddenly." That's how depression hits. You wake up one morning, afraid that you're gonna live.” 
― Elizabeth Wurtzel, Prozac Nation

There wasn't a single factor that caused or contributed to Doug's depression... it just kind of happened.    Right now, two years later, although he continues to have ups and downs, the extreme lows seem to have reduced in frequency.  I also have learned how to read his cues much better and as a family we're figuring this out.

* Doug is aware that I've written this and encouraged me when his doctor said that 2/3 of his patient load come in due to depression *

Wheat Free Journey (Update #1)

Well, it's been a full week since I dropped all wheat products cold-turkey.  It was certainly an adjustment and although the side effects weren't severe, I did have a few headaches last weekend.  I just took Advil and upped my water and that seemed to take care of it.  The worst days were probably Monday and Tuesday when the cravings hit.  I resisted though and I was really proud of myself.

I made wheat free chocolate chip cookies and wheat free muffins.  I also experimented with buckwheat pancakes.  Admittedly, the taste and texture is a little different but nothing that we can't get used to.  I've added quinoa to our meals and have been researching a whole new variety of recipes.  Doug has done really well and I'm proud of him.  He admitted it was tough when he and Joshua went to Boston Pizza and Joshua enjoyed his pizza while he was served his teriyaki chicken and rice bowl.  The kids aren't totally thrilled with the change and Joshua is certainly the most opposed to it.  Andrea is doing really good and Arianna is following suit.  I have dropped most of Sarah's wheat AND dairy but I'll do a new post on that.

Unfortunately due to circumstances that make me uniquely female *smile*, my measurements were not accurate or fair in my opinion.  I'll see what happens after week two!

Greek salad!  One of my favorites! 

Wheat-Free Journey {Part I}

Last week my sister called me to talk about something she found in a book called Wheat Belly Cookbook.  She had read that the consumption of wheat can lead to depression.  That was a huge red flag for me since Doug has been fighting it for two years now.  I bought the cookbook and the book Wheat Belly and began my own researching. The evidence both in the book and online was mind blowing.  I was shocked at how negatively wheat can and does affect us.  I won't go into it here but I'm all for it.  I'd certainly recommend the book! I began the weekend by dropping all wheat that I consume and have reduced the amount that the kids intake.  Doug did it slower as well since some of the side effects can be pretty harsh.  I had a headache on Saturday which was remedied by water and an Advil.

Yesterday I purchased a few different flours such as buckwheat, arrowroot and spelt.  I made wheat/gluten free oatmeal chocolate chip cookies right off the bat and this morning I made buckwheat pancakes.

I'll admit, the taste is a bit different, but different can be good.  I think with time, we'd simply get used to it and it would become a way of life.

"The essential reference book Prescription for Nutritional Healing, states, “Omit wheat products from the diet. Wheat gluten has been linked to depressive disorders” (p. 317 in 3rd ed.). Julia Ross, M.A., author of The Mood Cure, describes the link between wheat consumption and depression:

“Dozens of studies confirm that depression is a common symptom of gluten intolerance, one that usually disappears when wheat and the similar grains are withdrawn. People with gluten intolerance have low levels of the . . . brain chemical serotonin, and gluten has been implicated in mental illness since at least 1979, which is when I first noticed psychiatric journals reporting tremendous improvement in the symptoms of patients with depression and manic-depression . . . who had been experimentally taken off gluten-containing foods.” (p. 126)

The above notes are from HERE.

I'm on day four of my wheat-free journey.  I'm excited to see what's going to happen for me and my family!

Daybook {02.17.13}

FOR TODAY: February 17, 2013

Outside my window... a new layer of snow has fallen.  How quickly we can go from warm, slushy days only to wake up to a cold morning which reminds us that it is ONLY February.

I am thinking... of how much I love Sundays, especially when my family sleeps in a bit.  

I am thankful... for family and friends who help extend birthday celebrations

In the kitchen... cluttered but clean.  I didn't do a really good clean up last night before bed.

I am wearing... fleece pyjamas and fuzzy socks.  I hate being cold.

I am creating... a more structured but not rigid schedule for the kids and I on our week days.  It'll mean a little less flexibility but hopefully instill some more responsibility on their part.

I am reading... The Wheat Belly Book (thanks to my sister's recommendation!)

I am hoping... to experiment with the above book and get myself and Doug off wheat for sure and possibly the kids.  I know everyone is extreme about what they believe in but I personally like what this doctor says.  And if his findings are true (which I presume they are) then I'm beginning to think it may be a healthier lifestyle for my family.

I am looking forward to... proving to my family that I can still bake and make good foods without wheat.

I am learning... to take joy in everything as often as possible.  That's harder than it sounds.

Around the house... not as tidy as I like it.  I'm thinking of some cube shelving for the living room to hold Sarah's toys and books.

A favorite quote for today...

One of my favorite things... listening to my daughters sing and play piano.

A few plans for the rest of the week... for sure some school, hopefully implementing the schedule/routine, and that might be it.

A peek into my day... hanging out with my family.  Maybe a trip to the Science Center...

My Week

Just yesterday I got home from spending the previous four days with my sister and her family in Calgary. It was time spent cooking freezer meals, drinking coffee, visiting and just hanging out. We rolled 338 meatballs, made 4 large meals of pasta sauce and 4 meals of enchiladas. It was a very productive week to say the least. Alicia is a wonderful hostess and although I {still} don't like that she lives 3.5 hours away, I certainly appreciate our lengthier visits when we make it happen.

One interesting thing that occurred while I was feeding Rosie her supper of quinoa, turkey, spinach and red peppers (minced), Sarah indicated some interest what was on the spoon. With a bit of hesitation, I offered her a small taste and she enjoyed it. She actually accepted an additional two bites plus a small taste of cucumber. I was elated. I have struggled with Sarah and her eating habits, or rather the lack thereof. So, moving onto Friday night, we had pasta and sauce and I simply offered it to her after I had put it in the food processor and made it a bit finer (not pureed). Without a word, she ate her entire bowl! In addition to eating well, she slept until 5:30 am in her own bed and until 8:30 beside Doug and I. Tonight's supper was meatballs, mashed potatoes and gravy. I am delighted to say that Sarah ate 1.5 meatballs mixed in with the gravy and potatoes. After watching a movie, she eagerly went to bed and quickly fell asleep. Maybe, just maybe, I am starting to make a breakthrough with her eating habits. I am so crazy proud of her and if the excitement for the rest of her family is any indication, we are ALL proud of her!

Cousins watching a movie

Watching the baking

Dippin' Dots... a sweet memory of our trips to Alabama

Canada Olympic Park... I still remember the 1988 winter Olympics. 

The very top of the Olympic ski hill.  Really neat!

Sarah enjoying her first every bites of pasta and meat sauce!

I Chose Joy

Because if I don't, then today will be a complete write off.  This morning, at the crazy early time of 5:30, my youngest peered into my face asking for breakfast.  I managed to stall her off until 5:45 when it was clear to methat neither of us were going to get any more sleep.  I fixed myself a coffee, filled her cup with juice and brought a small bowl of her "pink cheerios" upstairs so we could watch TV.  I figured since I was up, I'd get on my laptop and do the usual email and Facebook check and whatever else interested me at the time.  But... sweet blonde haired, grey-eyed daughter of mine wanted to "cungle wif mom".  So I set my computer aside and cuddled my sleepy-warm, pajama-clad, sweet-smelling toddler.

I will admit, my frustration increased when I saw Joshua and Arianna come down the hall, just minutes after 6:00.  My day was going to be off to a rip-roaring start and it was SO early.  I don't ask for much but I really just wanted to be alone for a little while.  It didn't seem like that was in the cards for me today.

I am having to make a conscious effort to be pleasant today simply because of how it started.  I'm going to need a super amount of patience and probably a few more cups of coffee.

New Findings

So even though I don't claim to be an all natural or organics only kind of person, I do like to be as chemical free as possible, especially when it comes to my kids.  We've switched over to Melaleuca and Norwex cleaning products to reduce the amounts of "bad" stuff that's in the house.

For years now, Sarah has been chronically constipated which has made potty training really tough.  We were giving her suppositories every few days (poor baby) because it was so painful for her to go.  When we brought it up to her pediatrician, he suggested cutting out dairy, bananas and apples.  That's kind of hard when those foods make up a large part of her diet.  He also told us to give her PEG (Polyethylene Glycol) which is in the laxative known as RestoraLAX (or MiraLAX in the US).  I was happy to have found something that worked and worked fairly quickly.  It was encouraging to all of us that Sarah had relief from her discomfort.

Until...
Just recently on my Facebook page, someone posted some questionable information about the active ingredient PEG and it wasn't good findings.  I decided to do some of my own research and came up with the following information:

From The US Food and Drug Administration

A single recommended dose of MiraLAX contains 17 grams of pharmaceutical grade PEG powder [6], a humongous amount of what is otherwise an industrial-strength anti-fungicide, insecticide, and germicide strong enough to preserve wood beams, railroad ties, and electrical poles from fungi, insects, and bacteria practically forever. It works by displacing water in wood, which makes it resistant to warping and rotting.

Polyethylene glycol is made by stringing together molecules of ethylene glycol into a large polymer chain, hence the prefix poly-, Greek for many. On its own, ethylene glycol is used in automotive antifreeze and brake fluid. According to the National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health, it is an extremely toxic substance:

“Ethylene glycol is chemically broken down in the body into toxic compounds. It and its toxic byproducts first affect the central nervous system (CNS), then the heart, and finally the kidneys.  Ingestion of sufficient amounts [as little as 30 ml — KM] can be fatal.” [2]

The term “neuropsychiatric events” in the FDA's safety alert refers to neurologic disorders of the central and peripheral nervous systems such as autism, dementia, depression, schizophrenia, multiple sclerosis, Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s diseases, and similar others [3]. These conditions result from PEG's direct (through cellular damage) and indirect (through malnutrition of essential micronutrients) neurotoxicity. No surprise there considering the quotation above.

*Cerebral Palsy isn't named specifically above but it is a neurological disorder*

And from Dr. Volpe in Houston, TX

Miralax has such a reassuring name that makes it sound like it is just the thing nature created for this problem. Fewer people might be willing to take it – or give it to their children – if they knew that the active ingredient is a chemical called polyethylene glycol (PEG), a close relative of ethylene glycol (antifreeze).  Why, you might ask, would something like antifreeze end up being used as a laxative?   Well, because it works, it is synthetic and can therefore be patented, and approval studies have not uncovered any dangers (in healthy adults).

However, in constipated adults (those who actually take the Miralax) some of the PEG is always absorbed, and studies have not been able to match the amount that is excreted to what is taken in. This, incidentally, confirms that individuals with constipation have an unhealthy and excessively porous intestinal tract. If some of the PEG is retained in the body the unanswered questions are where does it go, how long does it stay there and what does it do? You might also be wondering what happens to PEG in children, but the reality is that Miralax was not studied in children.

So if PEG and Miralax are out, what options do we have? The first and most obvious one is to find what is causing the constipation and correct it. By far the most common cause is food allergy or sensitivity and, among these, milk wins the contest by a long shot.

Well, now, after reading that Doug and I weren't so sure that this was the best product to put in our young daughter's body.  I decided to take some measures as far as her diet was concerned and see what happens with that.  I'm not going to throw away the MiraLAX yet but we are going eliminate cheese and reduce her dairy while increasing her juice intake, fruits such as canned peaches and pears and of course prunes.  

Today I found a recipe online that used a jar of pureed prunes plus a few chopped prunes in addition to chocolate chips and all the other good things found in cookies. At first bite, she seemed to really like them and there's enough chocolate chips to "hide" any of the prune taste.

The kids call them Crappy Cookies *sigh*

I'm really hoping and praying that through some dietary changes, we can help Sarah through her constipation issues more naturally.  If I find that the food isn't helping, I will give her a small dose of the medication to help her out.   We'll see how this goes for the next few weeks.

Reading Now...

I had really wanted to make a goal of writing more.  More on the kids, what's going on with me and especially about the changes I hope to see in my walk with God.  Three books that I have decided to read (two on my own, one referred by a friend) are going to be my focus in the next few weeks or months.  I'm hoping to share what I see happen with the thought that maybe someone will read it and find encouragement or be inspired.

The first is The Purpose Driven Life.  I've begun it and read a "day" every few days.  It helps me to remember my Christian up-bringing and yet has so many thoughts for how I can grow.

I am doing another journal on line for 1000 Gifts.  I purchased Ann Voskamp's devotional a few days ago and I love the 2-3 page devotionals as she writes on all kinds of different graces.  It's peaceful and easy to read, especially if I don't have a whole lot of alone time.

The last one was recommended to me by a friend.  It's called Keeping Our Children's Hearts.  We are at a delicate stage of life with two of our children and I need to try to make sure they continue to follow Jesus.  I need to help them through the tough days with a Christ-like attitude and this book has some great thoughts and ideas.

Thankful Thursday {01.17.13}

1. Simple things such as the incredible blossoming of Sarah's talking.  Some of her latest phrases include "Pat-a-Cake", "Kinkle, Little 'tar", "So, what's new?", and my favorite from last night (after I asked her to be nice to me) "Don't tell me 'dat Mom."  The last one was accompanied by a tiny finger wagging in my face.  Oh, how to teach her to not talk back while laughing at her quirks is going to be quite the task.

2.  Yesterday during our math time, Joshua "got it"!  I am so excited and proud of him.  He just began working with triangles and using the Pythagorean Theorem and it finally all made sense to him.  I hope this is the beginning of some enjoyment of school for him.

3.  I am so appreciative of my travelling husband.  He works long hours and spends at least one night a week (sometimes more) away from home.  I am very thankful that he enjoys what he does and that this job allows him to do what he loves best: drive.

4.  I am thankful for my home and the help from friends to make it look better.  Hopefully this weekend we can do some priming on the walls and think about painting.

5.  I am grateful for each morning that I wake up to greet the day.  That I can spend each moment with people I love and care for.

Weekend Work

Well, most of the walls in the house are now spattered with large amounts of drywall mud.  One of Doug's good friends does house renovations on the side and this weekend blessed us with many hours of help.  He brought the right tools and the 'know-how' to get the job done right.  I know it will look worse before it gets better but I am looking forward to when the walls are free of marks with a fresh coat of paint on them.

Busy day ahead

When we moved into this house three years ago, the previous owners left the walls full of the holes where they had hung up their pictures.  And they had A LOT!  Add to it, our own hangings, plus the damage done (intentionally or not) by the kids.  Pressure mounted baby gates are really hard on the inexpensive paint that was used and a few other things that were done without a whole lot of thought before we lived here.

Today we are having a friend of ours come and help Doug fill in some of the holes and prep the walls for priming and painting.  Although I love painting, one little quirk of this place is that the doors and baseboard trim are painted in a caramel color.  This means that painting the walls any other color than neutrals isn't going to happen.  Note to self... if we ever move, check what color the doors are.  Yes, I know I could paint the doors and trim back to white but that sounds like a huge job and I'd rather stick with painting walls.

Anyhow.  We'll see how the day plays out.

Wordless Wednesday

*I posted this on Facebook a few nights ago.  Oh such sweet girls*

Back to Routine

As homeschoolers, our daily schedule is more flexible than others.  We took an extended Christmas break and in that time, took a trip to Calgary, baked cookies, went visiting, celebrated Christmas, had the flu run rampant through our home, did some major cleaning and purging and a whole lot of other things that I can't quite remember.

The kids are all well over half way through their math curriculums and so now we can take a more relaxed approach to that and add in some fun social and history as well as some science studies.

So, on that note, I'm off to get the older two out of bed and get this week started!

One Year Ago...

We had Sarah's blood work done a year ago today.  You can read about that adventure HERE.  We were initially told it would take 9-12 months to get the results of the genetics testing.  When we asked the pediatrician, he was quick to inform us that we shouldn't hold our breath and that *maybe* we'd hear something in the spring.  So we wait.  And wait.

A Little Change...

I have decided to create a new place to write about the 1000 Gifts.  It will be found HERE.  I wanted to keep my journalling blog separate from the Gifts one.

1000 Gifts {#1}

I read this blog this morning ---> A Holy Experience and would like to make that my blog's focus for 2013.  Oddly, I can't write as well on paper but when I have a keyboard in front of me, the words just seem to come pouring out. 

I'll do a combination of writing and photos and I'm hoping to use my good camera more than my phone this year. 

So here goes! 

January 1: Three gifts heard: the voices of my children, a whispered "I love you" from my husband, and the familiar text tone that is unique to my sister.

January 2: A gift outside, inside, and on a plate:  the snow glittering in the sun, fleece bedsheets and the abundant meal I shared with my in laws.

January 3: Three graces you've overheard: I am a good wife.  I am a good mom.  I am doing well at what I do. 
*Grace defined as: "The Grace of God expresses itself as a combination of many attributes of God, especially mercy, goodness, compassion, and love."*

Well, there's the first nine, since I needed to get caught up from the past two days.  

 

If you'd like to follow my journey, feel free to join the Joy Dare Collection. 

Daybook {01.01.13}

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

For today: January 1, 2013

Out my window: 
Snow blankets our world in a white wonderland.  The temperatures have been relatively mild and quite tolerable.

I am wearing:
Comfy cotton pants and an oversized sweatshirt.

From the kitchen:
Steaks are on the counter and maybe I can convince my amazing husband to barbeque them for supper.

Around the house:
Christmas has come and gone.  In fact, I took down the tree on the 27th simply because I like things tidy, plain and organized.  I just prefer it this way.

Reading:   
All Things New, The Purpose Driven Life and I still read Goodnight Little Pookie.  Every.  Single.  Night.

Looking forward to:
I'm excited to see what the new year brings.  I'm not one for resolutions but I do think of things I'd like to change or improve on.  I'll save that for another day though.

Pondering:
“Trusting God completely means having faith that He knows what is best for your life. You expect Him to keep His promises, help you with problems, and do the impossible when necessary.”
and
“God intentionally allows you to go through painful experiences to equip you for ministry to others.”
― Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth am I Here for?

Wondering:
What God has in His plans for me this year.  I am ready to see what changes I can make and how He will use me.

Praying:
Our family is making a big decision in the next little while.  I can't share it in detail yet but I am praying that what we decide is the right thing to do for all of us.

A peek into my day:

Looks like I'll be snuggling a little girlie who doesn't feel too good.

Happy 2013!

My Favorite Moments

... of this Christmas. 

1.  I was once again {and as always} the first one up but Joshua and Arianna followed soon after.  And as always, we woke Doug and Andrea up to get the day started.

2.  I bought Sarah a homemade doll.  Beautifully done by my dear friend Danyel.  I had carefully wrapped the doll in tissue paper, put her in a box and wrapped the box up as well.  Sarah tore into the gift flung out the tissue (and doll) only to be disappointed that the box of Fruit Loops was empty of her "pink cheerios"!  We did redirect her to the doll, she was delighted with it and was able to forget about the empty cereal box. 

3.  We stuck with four gifts.  It sure made things simpler for buying and even opening.  Still seemed like a lot of presents but a few good practical things were gifted as well.

4.  Andrea was part of the worship team for the Christmas Eve service.  She was the youngest vocalist in a group of adults and I was so proud of her as she sang her solo, "Silent Night". 

5.  Both evenings were pretty low key.  We spent them at home, in our pajamas, eating snacks and watching fun movies together.  Just the way I like it. 

Merry Christmas

From me and my family to yours, Merry Christmas! I hope this is a wonderful season for you and I wish God's richest blessings on you!

Friday's Quick Takes

1.  I am as ready for Christmas as I'm going to be.  I have a couple small things to pick up yet but I'll get those out of the way this morning.  Then I'll lock myself in my bedroom and finish off the wrapping and begin setting gifts under the tree.

2.  I am appreciating the simpler way we are doing things this year.  I read on a blog recently of how another mom and dad gave their kids presents.  "One thing they want, one thing they need, one thing to wear and one thing to read."  So I went with it.  By keeping it narrowed down to those four specific items, I didn't feel completely overwhelmed and in the end, that's all that they really need to get anyhow.  The house's decorating is also very low key.  The tree is up and adorned with ornaments, the stockings are hung and Arianna is very good at keeping the two countdown decorations up to date.  Other than that, it's not too fancy here.  I think I like it that way.

3.  I have to brag on Sarah now.  This morning now marks the fifth consecutive night that she has slept in her own bed all night without any waking.  It just happened.  No fights, no stress on either of our parts... it is wonderful.  She receives a small packet of Rocket candies first thing in the morning and it is exciting for me to know that she can understand consequences.  This is a huge developmental step for her!

4.  Doug bought me an early Christmas present.  Fleece lined bed sheets.  How. Divine.  They are so warm and cozy and I am finally not cold at night.  He must love me an awful lot if he did something like that!!

5.  Christmas is just around the corner my friends.  I am ashamed to admit that I have occasionally let the true meaning of the season slip away as I am running kids around, buying gifts, baking and even crafting.  I hope that as the next few days approach us, my family and I will remember to sit back, relax and take time to really think about why we celebrate the season. 

“While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, 

 and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. 

She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, 

because there was no guest room available for them.” 

Luke 2:6-7 NIV

Another Change....

A few weeks ago now, I had a coffee date with a dear friend from high school.  We caught up quickly and enjoyed a nice visit.  Something that was unexpected though, was the way she fell in love with the dog.  I have never seen anyone "oooh" and "ahhh" over him the way she did and of course he basked in the attention from her. 

Last week I planned a visit to my sister's place and thought, rather than bring the dog along, I'd see if Amanda could watch him for a few days.  She was ecstatic and her kids were delighted.  As we were heading home, I began to really think about the extra stress and responsibility that a dog is.  It seems like we are just in a busy phase of life and although I don't regret getting him, I began to wonder if he'd be happier elsewhere.  We asked Amanda if she would like to have the dog and after her initial shock of being offered a pet, she eagerly agreed. 

We had hoped that Joshua's allergies wouldn't bother him too much with an animal but the tests showed that he was severely allergic to dogs.  His face would break out in hives after petting him and he was frequently fighting a stuffed up nose. 

So, a few factors played into the decision.  The kids are not overly upset and I think that is because they know how much he will continue to be loved.  We also know that if we wanted, we'd be more than welcome to visit.  I feel at peace with it as well and it was the right decision.

Just a Bit of Comfort

I'm Spending Christmas with 

Jesus Christ this Year

I see the countless Christmas trees,
Around the world below.
With tiny lights, like heaven's stars,
Reflecting on the snow.
The sight is so spectacular,
Please wipe away that tear.
For I'm spending Christmas,
With Jesus Christ this year.
I hear the many Christmas songs,
That people hold so dear.
But the sounds of music can't compare,
With the Christmas choir up here.
For I have no words to tell you,
The joy their voices bring.
For it is beyond description,
To hear the angels sing.
I can't tell you of the splendor,
Or the peace here in this place.
Can you just imagine Christmas,
With our Savior, face to face?
I'll ask Him to light your spirit,
As I tell Him of your love.
So then pray one for another,
As I lift you eyes above.
Please let your hearts be joyful,
And let your spirit sing.
For I'm Spending Christmas in Heaven,
And I'm walking with the King.
~© Wanda Bencke ~

Daybook {12.09.12}

For today: December 9, 2012

Out my window: 
Looks like winter has settled in for the next few months.  Last night, as we drove home for a little Christmas gathering, the thermostat on the van read -28* or -18*F for my friends south of the border.  Yes.  That is cold.  REALLY cold.  Kind of makes me want to hunker down in my fleece pajamas, grab a coffee and read a book. 

From the kitchen: 
I brought up my slow cooker last week and put it to good use a few times.  It's really nice to know that supper will be ready and I don't have to think about it all day.  I've seen a couple breakfast recipes for the crock pot.  I think that may be the next thing I try. 

Around the house: 
Christmas has arrived on the main floor.  And that's all that I think I'll do this year.  This is the floor that our guests hang out on as well as the family most of the time.  I don't really see a need to do much more than that.

Reading:   
Jane Eyre, The Purpose Driven Life and Goodnight Little Pookie.  The last one is Sarah's current bedtime favorite.  In fact I have completely memorized it. 

Looking forward to: 
I'm heading down to Calgary to visit my sister this week.  A few years ago, we had baking days where we would bake all our family favorites and even dabbled in a few new recipes.  It was a day of visiting, sampling and enjoying being together.  It's been a year or two since we've done it and we are both looking forward to doing it again!

Pondering:
“Trusting God completely means having faith that He knows what is best for your life. You expect Him to keep His promises, help you with problems, and do the impossible when necessary.”
and
“God intentionally allows you to go through painful experiences to equip you for ministry to others.”
― Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth am I Here for?

Praying:
For family peace within our home.  That the Christmas season would be more meaningful that wondering what is under the tree.

Pictures to share:

 The quilt I made for my father in law

 This is *just* the beginning

My tree

 

Good morning

This is what I look forward to every morning! 

Friday's Four Quick Takes

1. We are going out to Christmas Party number one of the season.  I'm not overly excited about it mainly because I'm not a night person and I'd rather just hang out in my jammies.  I will do my best to enjoy our time out.  Also because the older two are also going out, Doug's mom is coming to watch the little girls.  It's been YEARS since I've needed someone to come over in the evening!

2.  Sarah has caught nasty cold bug.  She's really stuffed up and feeling pretty miserable.  Her appetite has not diminished though and she is eating like crazy. 

3.  I love our Early Intervention Coordinator.  Today she just listened to me talk and I appreciated sharing a part of Sarah's baby days with her.  I needed that.

4.  Christmas has arrived at our house.  The tree is up, stockings are hung and the numbers on the countdown calendars are getting smaller.  Working hard at it but the spirit is here.  Joshua and Andrea are off to their youth banquet this evening as well.  They should have a great time!

 

Daybook {12.05.12}

For Today: December 5, 2012

Outside my window... snow.  Enough said.

I am thinking...of new and different ways to celebrate Christmas this year. 

I am thankful... for Doug's job.  For our marriage, our children, our family, our friends. 

In the kitchen...breakfast messy.  I'll get to it soon.

I am reading... Jane Eyre (more-so plodding through it).  It's a true classic and not quite like the modern day books that I'm used to reading.  I'm hoping to be done it by Christmas.

I am wearing... leggings, a tank top and oversized sweatshirt.

I am going... to do laundry, house work and research family devotion ideas.

I am wondering... if I'll manage to get Christmas cards done on time.

I am hoping... to get some baking done today.  Shortbread perhaps.

I am looking forward to... a little road trip next week!  

I am learning... that I need to trust in and rely on God more. 

Around the house... actually fairly tidy. 

A favorite quote for today..."I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13

A few of my favorite things... the lone hour I have before my family wakes up, a hot coffee, my Christmas tree and freshly folded laundry.

A few plans for the rest of the week...some light school for the kids, Doug's work Christmas party and... that's about it.

Happy December!

I can't believe how quickly November flew by.  I had inwardly made a goal of blogging at least once every two days but I'm not sure I did it.  So here we are into another month and almost the end of another year.  A quick recap of the past week or so:

Andrea did an amazing job at her Aladdin production and the six sold out shows were a great reward for the 80+ kids who rehearsed for so many months!  I was so very proud of her!

Joshua and I completed another session of Daybreak at our church and as much as I love snuggling babies for people, it is nice to have a bit of a break.

Arianna has been busy practicing for her solo and dance part of the church's Christmas production.

Sarah is keeping herself busy doing Sarah "things".  Baking with Grandma, playing with her siblings and just hanging out!

This morning I read a Facebook post from The Busy Homeschool Mom and today her message spoke deep to my heart.  Here's what she had to say:
 
"The best Christmas presents will never be found in a store. Do you want to make the holidays meaningful for your children? Creating memories that will last a lifetime is really a matter of intentional planning. It has very little to do with money. :) Here are few tips to get you started:

Look at your calendar. WRITE IN things you want to do and then take the time off to actually do them. You only get 2012 Christmas once. :) Here are a few things you might want to consider:

—Make Christmas cut-out cookies
—google "slow cooker hot chocolate" ... and make it
—find Christmas crafts you can do with just paper and glue. You're on the computer already. :)
—Go for a drive to look at Christmas lights. Take your hot chocolate for a special treat
—Make chex mix. 'nuff said.
—Ask your children to DRAW their version of the nativity. Frame it or take a picture of it so you don't forget what their drawings looked like.
—Watch your favorite Christmas movie
—Read Advent stories by the Christmas tree
—Scatter Christmas books throughout your house. I started our Christmas collection from thrift stores years ago; now we have books in every room. The kids, even the grown ones, love it.
—Focus on just the basics for school. Enjoy December.
—Remember the true meaning of Christmas.

Love your kids. Kiss your husband under the mistletoe. Try to appreciate the bickering, spilled hot chocolate, crazy calendar and family gatherings. And when you can't appreciate it, forgive yourself. And start again.

Merry Christmas!"

I really enjoy homeschooling my kids.  I love it MOST of the time, despite the frustrating moments that I think we all have.  I think I often get too worked up in the focus on math, reading, grammar, social and science.  I truly appreciate this reminder for me and everyone else, regardless of how we school our kids.  Deep breath.  Relax.  Enjoy.

I'm hoping and planning for a relaxed December with emphasis on family, friends and simply enjoying the season.  

Happy Tuesday!!