Dreams & Waiting

I hate bad dreams.  I always dwell on them and wonder if they'll come to pass.  I often dream quite vividly, especially if there's something going on in my life at the time.  For instance, I'll dream of scrapbooking the night before a day of crafting.  Or I'll dream of fabric and quilt pieces before I begin a quilt project.  Odd stuff like that. 

Last night I dreamed about... you guessed it, Sarah.  In the dream we were given a diagnoses similar to autism but with a few quirks.  She would never get bigger physically or emotionally.  In a nutshell, we were told that she would remain our *little girl* forever.  It was absolutely heartbreaking.  I'm sad that these are the thoughts that are with me both day and night.

Waiting is hard.  Excruciatingly so in fact. 

Wait for the referral papers to arrive in the mail. 

Wait to hear that the doctor's office has received them. 

Wait to hear from the specialists. 

Wait for the appointment. 

Wait for the results. 

I'm tired of waiting.  I'm trying to be patient and have peace about this all but it's tough.  A dear friend of mine told me that tears are good for us.  That's encouraging to know.

Phillipians 4:13 says: I can do all things through Christ, because he gives me strength. 

This is the verse I'm clinging to on the hard days. 

Quick Project!

I had seen on Homemade Mamas WEBSITE, a tutorial on how to turn a shower pouf into a bath toy pouch.  I happened to have one lying around and gave it a shot!  It is so cute and took me about 10 minutes to whip up!  It will look so fun in the bathroom!

Click HERE for the tutorial.

Here's mine:

Evenings

Seems to be the hardest part of the day.  After the busyness of the daily activities are done and I finally sit down in the quiet... I get a little sad (or a lot).  I have time to reflect on what we've done and I wonder what the future holds for Sarah.  I don't mean to reflect on the negatives, they just seem to come out.  I think about how this isn't life threatening but it is life altering (in the words of Doug).  What does the future hold for Sarah?  For our family? 

Just now I was thinking about the upcoming MRI (in 3.5 months) and it actually made my stomach turn.  To say I'm not looking forward to it is an understatement... I'm dreading it.  The anesthetizing, the procedure, recovery and the potential results.

*sigh*

Balance

I have been struggling with this for Sarah since it was confirmed that she is globally delayed.  I've had a wonderful EI worker come to our house every 2-4 weeks to play with Sarah and teach me how to help her develop further.  Some of the exercises (if you will) take a fair amount of effort and time on my part.  Planning and helping her stay focused.  I know that these times will help her grow and become stronger...

but...

a small part of my momma heart wants to leave her alone.  No therapeutic *playing*, no working on areas of weakness... nothing.  Just let her be perfectly three years old.  She will learn things as she chooses and will gain confidence and knowledge at her own pace...

but...

I need to give her the tools required to reach her full potential.  I need to help her reach the top of HER mountain, however high that may be. 

I wish I knew the answers...

Tough Questions

I received a package that I need to fill out for Sarah to be evaluated at the Glenrose Hospital.  At the bottom of the form are two questions.

1. What are your main concerns about your child?
2. What questions would you like answered?

Hm.  How do I honestly answer those?  What ARE my concerns?  I have no idea how to put feelings and tears onto paper.  I don't even know if I have any questions...

I never thought I'd be in these shoes.  I just didn't imagine that this was the path we'd be following for our daughter.  I guess I'll think on it and do my best to put the words down. 

Pediatrician Appointment (07/18/11)

I'm not totally sure what I expected out of today's visit at the pediatrician.  I left with a plethora of information and I'm still processing what we found out.

Let me first say, it was amazing that I actually got in to see this doctor who isn't accepting new patients and who specializes in kids with delays and special needs.  We initially saw the nurse who spent the first hour with us going over all of Sarah's birth history, growth information, developmental milestones, measurements and even blood pressure.  After an additional 10 minute wait, Dr. M came in to see us.  When all was said and done, it was determined that:

• Sarah will get another MRI of her head to see what is going on in it.  She has a very small head due to failure of brain growth (Microcephaly).  This can (and is very likely) causing the delays in her balance, speech and other areas of development such as fine and gross motor skills. 
• We have been asked to get genetic testing done.  We were offered this when she was younger and we didn't get it done... we likely will look into it now.
• We've been referred to the Glenrose for more intense and therefore conclusive testing and assessments.
• She needs to see a pediatric opthamologist for her eyes.
• I need to work on stretching her hips.  They are really tight and are part of the balance issues she has. 
• We'll go back for a three month follow up.

Dr. M continued to tell us that this is something she will {very likely} deal with for the rest of her life.  She will require helps and special education for many years.  I'm glad my home school can incorporate special education!  Until we get results from the testing though, we won't be able to know what her full potential is and what we can do about it.  He agreed that the play therapy from our local Early Intervention Program is good for her.  At this point, I'm not going to put her into a preschool/special needs school.  My biggest concern is that my sweet and quiet little girl would be so compliant that she may not receive the help she needs.  I can do that at home.  I have a little *school* of four students and with all five of her family members surrounding her, she will get all the help she needs here.   


During the initial exams, she cried.  She didn't like having her blood pressure taken or her ears checked.  She was equally upset when the Doctor started manipulating her hips.  She kept crying with these huge tears rolling down her cheeks, "I wan' go hoooooome".  Poor little girl.  


I am so thankful that Doug and Melanie (my sister in law) were able to join me at the appointment.  I am was emotionally charged to begin with and it was a blessing to have two extra people to support me as well as hear things that I may have missed. 


Earlier I mentioned that Dr. M isn't accepting new patients.  It just so happens that my beautiful sister in law is a nurse for him and she asked if he would accept and look at Sarah.  He agreed to see her and as hard as today's visit was, I'm very thankful. 

In Loving Memory - Part 2

Here are some thoughts that have gone through my mind today:

• Do people remember this day and why it is so hard and painful for me?  I know they used to but I wonder if over time, others have just forgotten...
• I wish that on July 13 of every year, I could have a few hours to myself.  To think, cry, read, sleep... whatever I wanted, without having to think about the kids.  I feel that is one of the harder parts.  I have no time alone to be sad.
• I would have liked to have bought myself a bouquet of yellow roses.  They were my mom's favorite and because they were, I've become quite fond of them myself.  My dad used to do that for me.
• I don't think that over time, it gets easier.  The pain is still there and although, maybe not as fresh as it was 12 years ago, this is one of the hardest days in a year. 
• Someone used to call me on this day.  I miss that friend a lot. 
• I feel sad (and even a bit angry) at those who do not have a good relationship with their mom.  I'd do just about anything to have mine back.
• She would be the one person I could talk honestly and openly to about anything.

(Not bad, the tears just started now)

• I'm sad that she didn't get to see more of her children get married or more grandkids be born.  She would have loved and doted on every single one of them.  
• I feel like I've been short changed on life.  I don't have the opportunity to tell her about the kids, their successes, their joys and their tears.  What would she think about my choices in how I've raised them?
• She was such a strong woman in her faith.... I feel so immature when I compare myself to her.  As of late (with Sarah stuff), I've faltered and stumbled in my walk with God.  
• I feel alone.  I am very thankful for the prayers that friends offer but it just doesn't fill the void... at least not today.
• For many years I embraced the role of the "Big Sister" which forced me to keep my feelings in check, especially when on of my siblings were feeling down.  I often put on the brave, happy face that I felt I needed to show them.  Thankfully, I've let my guard down and allow myself to be sad and emotional when I need to.
• I am thankful for the years I had.  She taught me how to be a homemaker, wife and mom.  So much of how I do things is because that's the way she did it.  
• I hope for a long life on earth, watching my children grow up and growing old with Doug.  I am so thankful for eternal life in Heaven.  I look forward to one day being reunited with her, just as she was with her mom.
• Something I try so hard at believing (but don't always do such a good job of) is written on her headstone: GOD IS AND ALL IS WELL. 

I may add more later.  This is all that's coming to me now.

In Loving Memory - Part 1

Today I found the words that I spoke at my Mom's funeral.  It's quite long but I thank you for hearing my heart.  Also remember, I was quite a bit younger and in emotional turmoil.  Any quotes from my Mom are in italics.  I will write a response to this later...

My mom put her whole life in God's hands. Much of what I will try to say today is from the journals she wrote in. Shortly before her surgery in April, she had written: 

“How could I leave? How could my family make it without me? All I could do was hang onto my faith that night and over the next few days. God took me through the valley. His answer was simple, 'I love you and I love your family and no matter what the outcome, I will take care of all of you.'”

She continues to write:

“God will help John and the kids through and I have to trust Him to just that. My mom died when I was 29 in 1984 and I felt I was much too young. My kids are younger and I can't even think of what it would be like for them. My greatest fear is that they will turn away from God in anger.”

I truly believe the opposite has happened. My faith in God has become much stronger since her illness began in December of 1997. She was a light that shone to me and helped me get through the storms. After reading numerous journals, I know that it was God who helper her along and it is God who will continue to help me along as well.

The next thing I want to say came from a piece she wrote titled On Being a Mom. It is too long to read entirely so I chose some special lines.

“I love my children and it has always been important to me that they know it and feel it. I hugged and kissed my babies, they often fell asleep on my chest. I tried to tell them I loved them. I used words, actions, and connections. I tried to listen and really hear them. I tried to make each feel special, protected, encouraged and obedient. I tried to mold their behaviour so they would be likeable children. I tried to teach them clear moral standards and the meaning of loyalty and sharing. I encouraged them to be their own person. I taught them to work hard and do their best. To live with gusto and enthusiasm.”

After reading that, I realized that I want to be the mom to Joshua that she was to me. I feel that those are a set of guidelines that I need to follow and raise my own son by. I hope I do a good job. The last thing I want to quote is a prayer Mom wrote on August 4, 1998.

“Father in Heaven, I ask in the name of your Son Jesus, that through the power of the Holy Spirit, that I may be healed completely. Fully and totally healed and restored. I long to be whole and physically strong. Please hear my prayer O God.”

The first time I read that, I was angry with God. Why didn't He answer her desperate plea? Why couldn't he have done that for her? Then I began to realize that He did. Maybe not the way we would have wanted – to have her earthy heart healed – but I know her Heavenly heart is beating in perfect rhythm. She is running down the streets of gold praising the God she fully trusted. She is a witness to me and I have learned a lot from her and her personal testimony. I thank God for the special times I shared with her after Joshua was born and I will treasure those days forever. I would just like to add:

Mom, you taught me everything I know – how to cook, clean, and bake; how to be a good wife and mom. You were the best teacher in the world, and as my role model, I hope I continue to live the way you would have wanted me to. I will never forget the many talks we had and any time I have a cup of tea, I'll be thinking of you.  You were my best friend in the whole world and I wasn't ready to say good-bye.  We are both too young to lose each other and I still need you more than ever.  On Tuesday morning, I promised I would take care of Joshua for you, and I know you'll be watching out for us.   I love you Mom and will miss you always.

Time To Say Goodbye

This is the song that was played at my mom's funeral.  The only difference is that the recording we used didn't have Sara Brightman.  I couldn't find a copy with just Andrea Bocelli.

The translated lyrics are:

When I'm alone I dream of the horizon and words fail me.
There is no light in a room where there is no sun
and there is no sun if you're not here with me, with me.
From every window unfurls my heart the heart that you have won.
Into me you've poured the light,
the light that you found by the side of the road.

Time to say goodbye.
Places that I've never seen or experienced with you.
Now I shall, I'll sail with you upon ships across the seas,
seas that exist no more,
it's time to say goodbye.

When you're far away I dream of the horizon and words fail me.
And of course I know that you're with me, with me.
You, my moon, you are with me.
My sun, you're here with me with me, with me, with me.

Time to say goodbye.
Places that I've never seen or experienced with you.
Now I shall, I'll sail with you upon ships across the seas,
seas that exist no more,

Both
I'll revive them with you.
I'll go with you upon ships across the seas,
seas that exist no more,
I'll revive them with you.
I'll go with you.

Deep Fried Apple Slices

I found this most wonderful recipe on a website called How to: Simplify (my friend Evonne posted the link on FB) and I whipped up a batch of them this morning!   DELICIOUS! 

For the rings:

• 1 large egg white
• 1 cup water
• 1 tablespoon vanilla
• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 6 large apples, peeled
• Canola oil for frying
• Cinnamon and sugar

For the icing:

• 4 tablespoons butter, melted
• 1/3 cup sugar
• 1 tablespoon cinnamon
• 2 tablespoons milk
• 1 - 1 1/2 cups powdered sugar

Directions:

1. Whisk egg white until foamy. Whisk in the water and vanilla. Next, whisk in the flour and salt.
2. Slice the apples into 1/2-inch thick slices. Using varying sized cutters, cut “rings” out of apple slices, discarding smallest circle containing core. 
3. Heat oil to 375 degrees. Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
4. Dip apple rings into batter and then place into the oil. Allow the apples to fry in small batches and turn frequently. Remove from the oil when golden brown and place on a paper towel. Sprinkle with cinnamon and sugar.
5. Transfer rings to a wire rack and place the wire rack on a baking sheet. Place in the oven for 5-10 minutes or until the rings turn crispy.
6. Drizzle the icing over the rings and serve warm. (To make the icing, simply combine all of the ingredients and stir until combined).

A couple of notes:
* I could have done with halving the recipe.  The batter did cover all 6 apples but we had LOTS!
* The icing recipe was more than enough, even for the full batch.  I'd cut it in thirds or even quarter it.
* They are best fresh.  Even after a few hours they got soft and weren't nearly as good.

8 Weeks

I know it's still another 8 weeks (give or take) until school starts again but I stumbled upon a great website through Facebook (you know how those trails can lead you) and I'm really inspired by how this one mom organizes her day.  She calls them Workboxes.  You can see how they are done here.  Of course one thing leads to another and I've found summer reading printables, great playdoh recipes, and a plethora of information!  For the past few years, the kids have been in a hybrid school program where they've gone twice a week to school for most of their subjects while staying home on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays for Math and Language Arts.  This fall, I am going back to full time home education and I am excited to get started.  I hope that the things I find and do will also excite my kids. 

She missed me

Arianna is growing up at a crazy rate.  Inside and out.  She longs to be bigger like her older siblings, wanting to do what they do.  Last night, she was planning to spend the night at her friend's house (which she's done before a few times).  I received a phone call at 10:00 saying that a little girl needed her mom.  My heart did a little flip as heard that.  At 7 years old, she is wanting to be so independent and at the same time, still needing to be close to home.  When Doug brought her in, we snuggled on the bed for a bit and then I tucked her in under her own covers. 

I'm glad she's still my little girl!  Don't grow up too fast Sweetheart.

Nanaimo Bars

These little delights are a treat that I've enjoyed since I was little.  I can even recall asking my mom to make them instead of a birthday cake.  For the past couple years, Arianna has asked me to do the same.  After I posted pictures on Facebook, I had a couple requests for the recipe so here it is!

Nanaimo Bars

Base:

1/2 cup of butter

1 egg

1/3 cup of sugar 

2 cups of graham wafer crumbs

5 tablespoons of cocoa

1/2 cup of coconut (I do less)

1 tsp of vanilla

Melt butter, sugar, cocoa, vanilla and egg in a double broiler pot.  Remove from heat and add wafers and coconut.  Press well into a greased 9x9 pan.  Let cool.

Center:

1/4 cup of butter

2 tablespoons of custard powder

2 cups of icing sugar

3 tablespoons of milk

Cream butter and add custard and milk.  Blend in the icing sugar, spread over base and let cool.  See note at the bottom.

Topping:

4 squares of semi-sweet chocolate OR 1 cup chocolate chips 

2 tablespoons of margarine or butter (Margarine will keep the chocolate softer while butter will make it hard)

Melt chocolate and butter/margarine and spread over center.  Let cool, cut and eat!

Notes:

*To change the color of the center, add food coloring.  Custard will make it very yellow so if you add red food coloring, you can get an orange/peach or even pink center, depending on how much you add.  At Christmas, I add blue food coloring to get a green center.  The coloring needs to be added during the first mixing of butter and custard so the color is even. 

*If you wish to double the recipe, just use a 9x13 pan.

I just linked this recipe to SWEET AS SUGAR COOKIES!  Lots of wonderful treats there to check out!!

Seasons

We all go through different seasons... not the 4 physical ones that come every year, but rather seasons of friends, family members, hardships and joys.  There's many more, but they are personalized, depending on the person.  Last week, I took the kids to a barbeque picnic with their former school mates.  (We had pulled them out of the part time program in February).  This was to give the kids the chance to see their friends in a large group for {probably} the last time.  It didn't take long for me to realize that even after four short months, the relationships had drastically changed.  The older kids all found the one or two friends that they were really looking forward to seeing and I just ended up watching them for the time.  I actually felt that we were intruding on the school's picnic and wasn't totally sure we were welcome.  An odd feeling to be sure.
I felt that we were no longer part of the *community* of Stony Creek.  It was sad for me in a few ways.  One being, that unless I put the kids back in the program (which probably won't happen), that "family" feel is gone.  I am so thankful for the amazing friendships I have built with some moms over the years and I hope and pray we continue to be friends.  There are a few women who I have shared and opened so much of my heart with and I love them for it.  I hope my children continue to phone the friends they've made and that those friends call them up as well.  When we left the school, it wasn't my intent to drop all relationships but instead to keep close the ones we all had made.and build on them.  
I am in a season of pouring much of my energies into my four amazing children.  I am mothering them.  Teaching them.  Loving them.  Advocating for them.  Supporting and loving them with all my heart.  This is what God wants me to do, where He wants me to be and this is the season I'm in.

Today...

I'm kind of in a melancholy, sad mood this evening.

Sarah and I had a Play & Say group this morning.  It was essentially an hour of watching and interacting with her as she played with all kinds of toys.  It was an opportunity for the Speech Pathologist to observe her in a more comfortable and casual setting compared to the first assessment.  The SP did notice that Sarah's talking overall was much better than when they first saw her in May.  I did explain that I didn't feel the initial meeting gave Sarah a fair chance to show what she could say since the setting was new and strange and she has a real fear of medical facilities.  Thankfully, today Sarah was really chatty and we were given some good tools on how to work with her.  I worked really hard at not putting up the barrier walls that I so desperately wanted to build.  Walls that would harden my heart and close my ears to hear what they had to say.  I think I did okay.

I am certainly thankful for our healthcare system.  The resources that I've used (speech and home visits) are free.  I'm not having to pay out of pocket for them.  I guess it still hurts me inside that I *need* to use them.  I've heard all the well-wishers tell me that she'll do great, she'll benefit from it... all that good stuff.  I love and cherish the encouragement and prayers coming from everyone but my heart is so very sad.  The tears just seem to come so easily lately when I think of how far she has to come to *catch up*.  It is really hard to see other kids her age and even younger who don't have the delays that Sarah does.  To hear other two and three year old talk in 5-8 word sentences that are completely understandable is not only hard but it hurts me.  I'm the only one in Sarah's world that understands most (if not all) of what she says.  Doug and the kids can understand lots as well but we really have to watch for context when she speaks. 

I borrowed a book from my friend Karen, called Prayer Saturated Kids and I fear how my kids can be prayer saturated if I'm not.  If I don't model  true faith in God and trust Him, how can they?  Tonight I read the following:

"For various reasons, God sometimes doesn't answer our prayers in the way we've asked.  Perhaps the request is not within His will.  Other times we waver in our faith.  Other times our prayers are not answered immediately because our request is not within God's timing.  The bottom line is that no matter what happens, keep trusting God.  He is faithful."  Page 104, Prayer Saturated Kids

I know this to be true.  I know because I was brought up to know and believe it.  I guess when I was given this information and news, I felt let down.  This plethora of testing and assessments didn't fit into MY schedule or plan for Sarah.  When she was only 8 days old, we dedicated her to God.  Knowing that she was His child but ours to care for while she lives on earth.  That being said, I need to continue to work at accepting what He has laid out for her and her life.  I may not always like it but I have to do my best to work through it.  I'm far from that point.  I have lots of emotions to work through.  This just happens to be one of those tough days.   There's a small part of me that just feels like I'm alone in this and that no one understands.

Thank you for reading this and encouraging me.  I do my best to accept all the love and prayers that everyone gives me... I'll keep plugging through it and we'll be alright.

Eggs.

As far as my earliest memory goes, I have never liked eggs.  It is even written in my baby book by my mom that at 9 months old, I spat them out.  Today, I gave them one last chance.  There were more peppers than eggs in the mix which I thought would be ok.  Now I think it was just a waste of really good peppers.  I couldn't even swallow them.  I thought I could be grown up about it and all but no-go.  I love French toast, as long as it's cooked well.  Other than that and in baking, there's no way I can eat them.

Happy Heart-Aversary

Six years ago today, my uncle was gifted with a new heart.  He was so very sick and was in desperate need of a miracle.  Praise God, he was granted a heart transplant.  I am so very thankful for his new lease on life and I know how much his family loves him.

Uncle Gerald, I love you so much.  You are one of the greatest, craziest and loving people I know.  Definitely one of  my "favorites"!  I hope you have a wonderful day celebrating your life with your family!!  xoxoxox

In my happiness for them, I have sadness for me.  My mom didn't get the miracle.  She was eternally healed but it still hurts me inside.  Today I will smile for my aunt, uncle and cousins and yet, shed a few tears at the same time.  I won't go into all my feelings, today isn't about me or my Mom... I've posted endlessly about it... you can read about her (if you wish) in other posts.  

Happy 3rd Birthday Sarah!

36 things at 36 months

1. You joined our family on June 22, 2008.

2. I can't believe how much I love you more each day.

3. You are {finally} fully potty trained.

4. You aren't anywhere near sleeping through the night.

5. You have an incredible fear of medical facilities.  No sooner do we get in, than your tears start to fall and you sob "I wan' go home."

6. You are by far my littlest baby.  Not quite 25 pounds.

7. The majority of your diet consists of dry cereal, bananas, crackers, cookies, toast, and peanut butter.  I try to add more veggies, fruits and meat but you'll have nothing to do with it.  *sigh*

8. Your favorite movies are Bolt and Despicable Me.

9. Snuggling with daddy watching those movies is a nightly ritual for the two of you.

10. Your siblings are your favorite people.  If they aren't around, you wander the house looking for them and call their names.
11.  You love sleeping in bed with us.
12.  Going in the van is always exciting for you... a new adventure every time!
13.  Life would be perfect if you could spend your whole day "ou'thiiiide".  Such a cute little lisp you have. 
14.  You love dolls.  Dressing, undressing, feeding, walking, cuddling... you'll be a wonderful momma one day!
15.  You were named after you were born.  We hadn't picked one out beforehand. That was a first for us. 
16.  You are getting into things a lot more than you used to.
17.  The words "quiet", "mellow" and "easy going" are the best way to describe your personality.
18.  I heard "wuv you" for the first time a few days ago.
19.  You love to color and write.  I am amazed that you hold your pencil properly and can make the tiniest deliberate marks.  You always exclaim "I did a "E" (or "A" or "I")
20.  "Mine" is one of your favorite words as you clutch your prized possession (at that time) with such fervor.
21.  You love to help me clean with the broom or vacuum.
22.  Chocolate has a special place in your tummy!
23.  In addition to your immediate family, Grandma is one of your favorite people.
24.  Everything is proceeded by the words "I need a ________." (potty, bath, cookie, cup, bed... whatever)
25.  You love the camera and are always flashing a "cheese" smile at me.
26.  You are getting more and more adventuresome.  Things most kids do at two, you are doing now... I am thankful for the extra year of not worrying all the time.
27.  You still nurse a couple times a day.  I love that I've gone this long and have provided you with the best nourishment and extra calories that your tiny body needs, especially at night. This is important to me since you eat so little during the day!
28.  Coffee is one of your preferred beverages.  I have to watch out if I leave my mug lying around!
29.  Somehow you have managed to figure out my iPhone.  The other day, you actually called the house with it.
30.  You love Curious George.  I was so excited to go to The Party Place and buy all the goodies for your party!
31.  You love the park.  The swings are your favorite and the slides are a close second.  I feel like I still have to really watch you closely though... your balance isn't all that great yet.
32.  You are delighted when you get to go out with me alone and leave the big kids at home!
33.  You love to dress yourself.  Layers is important to you.  I've found you with pants, a dress, a tee shirt and hoodie on all at the same time.
34.  You love footwear.  Boots, shoes, sandals or slippers, it doesn't matter.  Also doesn't matter who they belong to.
35.  You have the ability to capture the heart of anyone around you.  
36.  Sweet Sarah, I love you.  You bring joy and happiness to my days.  You will always by my "little one" and I am so blessed to have you in my life.  I hope your birthday is full of fun, delights and surprises for you.  Have a wonderful birthday sweet girl of mine!

Thanks Kelly for the blog-lift!  :)

For a Few Moments

The girls were out biking, Joshua was at a friend's, Sarah was in bed and Doug had run out for something.... and for just a few moments, the house was quiet.  Very quiet.  I love the hustle and bustle that my family provides for this home during the day but I also take joy in the precious minutes of quiet.  The house was still and I enjoyed the peace.  And then everyone came home.

The River by brian doerksen

I heard this song in the van this evening.  Funny how certain songs play at just the right time.