Sadie - Part II

A dog's purpose in life is simple to live in the moment pleasing you.  They are there to do nothing more than love unconditionally.  They are faithful beyond measure and don't see any of the faults that us complex humans do.

As I had talked about in a previous post, our dog had become sick.  For nearly a year, she has been suffering from seizures.  To see a tiny 10 pound body shake and jerk around uncontrollably is heartbreaking.  The post-seizure times were just as hard as Sadie would look lost, stunned, had a temporary loss of vision and often relived herself on the floor.  As time went on, it was taking her longer to recover.  In addition to the seizures, Sadie was incontinent.  She was having accidents at least once, often more, in a day.  This was humiliating for her and frustrating for me.  In every attempt to help Sadie, we put her on anti-seizure medications, a surgery to try to help the incontinence and then hormone pills for the urinating.  It seemed that she was not going to be the textbook case where the medications work for 95% of dogs.  It baffled the vet as well.

Yesterday, I took Sadie to the vet again.  We talked for well over half an hour of what to do.  It sounded like she no longer though Sadie was epileptic which meant that the anti seizure medications would not work.  This is why she was still having 15 or more seizures a month, even though she was on meds for them.  The vet had suggested that Sadie possibly had a brain tumor which had a 30% chance of being discovered through a CT or MRI.  There was also the 70% that nothing would be found out.

At 5:10, I made the heartbreaking decision to end Sadie's pain.  (and the tears come again)  It was very painful to sign the release form... my hands shook terribly and my signature was hardly mine.  I will be forever grateful to my mom-in-law for driving me there, staying with me in the room and in the end, holding Sadie on my behalf.  I really couldn't do it.  So I sat in the car, cried and waited for it to be over.

.............
On November 11, 2007, my dad's dog Misty had a litter of puppies.  Being the dog lover that I am, we frequently visited their house, playing these pups.  There was one girl.  She was fiesty, spunky and let it be known that just because she was a girl, her brother were not about to push her around.

It didn't take long for this sweetheart to wiggle her way into our lives and become a member of our family. 

• She loved to chase her pink Kong.  In a book we read about her breed was that if you threw the toy 100 times, they would retrieve it 101.  She was extremely playful and *fetch* was her favorite game.
• She needed to lay on your left side.  Even if there wasn't really room on the chair, she would worm her furry little behind in and get comfy.  
• She was kennel trained and I have never regretted that.  She loved being in it to sleep and it was nice to know that she (and my house) were safe when we went out.
• Andrea was her favorite kid.  And Andrea adored her.  In the end, Andrea faithfully and without complaint cleaned up the messes.  She is a dog person and I can see her doing something with her love of dogs in the future.  
• Sadie wasn't fond of Sarah.  Perhaps Sarah's inability to be gentle (tight muscles due to CP) was intimidating.  Maybe it was Sarah's poor balance that made her to be unpredictable.  Whatever it was, despite Sarah doing her best to love Sadie, it was not a wonderful two-way relationship.
• Me?  I was the one who picked her out of the litter.  I did 95% of the housebreaking and training.  I did most of the vet appointments as well.  In addition to loving her as a dog, I was her "mom".  I did the mom things for her.  Feeding, shelter, medications, doctors, groomer appointments.  Her and I were usually the first awake in the mornings and she'd often finish my coffee if I left it where she could reach.
• She didn't like to eat much off the floor.  Nothing soft or mushy.  Except Kraft dinner.  And as of about 2 weeks ago, she suddenly liked bananas.  Go figure. 
• She was faithful to the end and I know how disappointed in herself she was after she had an accident.  
• She will be forever missed by us.

The vet told me that we had done more for Sadie than many people do.  Including a surgery right before Christmas.  We tried medications.  We tried diapers.  I feel like we tried it all.  She had a wonderful four years with us and we will continue to dwell on the happy memories she provided for us.

Fabulous Friday

Once again I've found that a lot of time has gone since my last post.  The weeks have been really full since the new year and I find I don't have as much time to just sit and write.  (Funny, I don't consider myself a writer...) 

• School.  I really really like having my kids at home with me.  I firmly believe that this is how God wants me to educate my kids.  Each one of them is doing so well and I love seeing their successes sharing in their joy when they "get it".  As a general rule, we like to have our school year wrapped up by the end of May.  When June rolls around and the summer sun is high in the air so early in the morning, keeping the kids inside is like nailing bubbles to the wall.  With that goal in mind, they are ready for a big push in the next couple months to get it all done.  
• Every Tuesday and Wednesday, the kids and I help out at our church.  While moms attend Daybreak, we watch their kids for them.  I love how they are learning to serve others.  On Tuesdays, Arianna is lucky enough to do {some} school with her friends at their house and then they play until I pick her up.  It is a blessing to me and a treat for Arianna.  
• Our little dog continues to have epileptic seizures in addition to urinary incontinence.  The medication she's on should *allow* her to have one seizure a month.  So far in February, she's had 6.  We've begun to put diapers on her simply to reduce my frustration level with cleaning up but I'm finding the seizures are really hard on her bitty 10 pound body.  She also isn't eating well.  This causes a little concern as well.  We'll see what her vet has to say next week. 
• The weather.  It may not be a big deal but it is incredibly nice for February.  Instead of buying winter boots for my kids, I recently bought them new running shoes.  Most days, we can go out in a light coat or hoodie and we've made very little use of snow pants and mittens this year.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining... I like it this way!
• My sister is moving.  In June.  :(
• I bought myself a necklace online a while ago.  On Valentine's Day it showed up in the mail.  It is BEAUTIFUL.  I had each of the kids' names stamped into little silver disks and it's on a dainty silver chain.  It makes me happy.  
• We're starting to get really excited about our trip to the States.  The kids are talking about places they want to re-visit as well as new sights they'd like to see.  I can't wait!

Happy Friday!  Hope it's a great one!

Dogs...

For as long as Doug and I could remember, dogs have been part of our lives.  Growing up, there was a dog in both our families and so it only made sense that we had a dog (or two) after we were married.  Dogs are fairly high maintenance.  Vets, groomers, food, cleaning up messes... the list is quite long.  But despite that, we still have always had a dog.  Having a dog also requires the responsibility of deciding when that furry life has lived to it's fullest.  Lately our 13 year old Lhasa has been having accidents in the house and generally seemed to be going downhill heath wise.  Yesterday I took her to the vet and called Doug hoping he'd join me.  We wanted to the vet to determine what Megan's quality of life was.  Did she have a few good months ahead of her or had she lived out all she could?  After doing an assessment of Megan, the wonderful vet (Shannon) said Megan was arthritic down most of her back, into her hips and down her hind legs.  A look at her eyes determined she was mostly blind.  Living with her, we knew her ears were going too.  She had lost much of the muscle control in her rear hips and legs which also accounted for the loss of bowel control.  Her weight dropped three pounds since October.  We went home 15 minutes later with that information knowing we had to make the decision of how long to let her live.  Doug called me and suggested we take her back the next day.  His reasoning was that it wasn't going to be any easier tomorrow, next week, or in two months.  When the final day came, it would be hard for everyone.

This morning Megan had a gourmet breakfast of bologna, cheese, crackers and Milk Bones and thoroughly enjoyed her indulgence.  When Doug came home from work around 9:00, the kids knew it was 'time' to say good bye.  He later said to me that taking Megan out of the house and away from the kids was one of the hardest things he's had to do in a very long time.  *sigh*  My kids' hearts were hurting so bad and there was only so much I could do to make them feel better.  I held them all close, hugged them tight and told them it would be ok.  School for the day has gone out the window. 

Quotes from this morning:

Joshua- "It will be hard to get used to saying 'Sadie, outside' after saying 'Megan, Sadie outside' for so long."

Andrea- "And I thought bringing Noah (another former dog) to the SPCA was tough."

Arianna (to Megan)- "Don't worry Megan, soon you'll be with Jesus and everything will be ok."

*Megan*