Saturday, July 30, 2011

Dreams & Waiting

I hate bad dreams.  I always dwell on them and wonder if they'll come to pass.  I often dream quite vividly, especially if there's something going on in my life at the time.  For instance, I'll dream of scrapbooking the night before a day of crafting.  Or I'll dream of fabric and quilt pieces before I begin a quilt project.  Odd stuff like that. 

Last night I dreamed about... you guessed it, Sarah.  In the dream we were given a diagnoses similar to autism but with a few quirks.  She would never get bigger physically or emotionally.  In a nutshell, we were told that she would remain our *little girl* forever.  It was absolutely heartbreaking.  I'm sad that these are the thoughts that are with me both day and night.

Waiting is hard.  Excruciatingly so in fact. 

Wait for the referral papers to arrive in the mail. 

Wait to hear that the doctor's office has received them. 

Wait to hear from the specialists. 

Wait for the appointment. 

Wait for the results. 

I'm tired of waiting.  I'm trying to be patient and have peace about this all but it's tough.  A dear friend of mine told me that tears are good for us.  That's encouraging to know.

Phillipians 4:13 says: I can do all things through Christ, because he gives me strength. 

This is the verse I'm clinging to on the hard days. 

2 comments:

  1. {HUGS} I cannot imagine how hard the waiting must be. Sorry for the nightmares. That can't be helping the situation.

    Is there anything you can involve yourself in to help keep your mind occupied?

    ReplyDelete
  2. There's not much I can do Lelia. I'm just feeling sad now.

    ReplyDelete

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