Monday, November 24, 2014

Three Years Ago

It was on this day in 2011 when Doug and I sat in the pediatrician's office waiting to hear the results of Sarah's most recent MRI which had been a couple weeks earlier. I can remember entering the room and expecting or hoping that we'd be told that the tests showed nothing abnormal. I can also recall the shocked and slightly stunned feeling when he delivered the news to us.
This is what I wrote three years ago:

"Medically speaking, Sarah's "corpus callosum" is slightly thinned.  This means that the connection between the two halves of the brain is not as thick as it should be, therefore causing the delays. In Doug's not so medical terms, he confirmed that Sarah's brain is simply wired differently.  Not wrong or bad, just different. They also found that there is "periventricular white matter" , consistent with "periventricular gliosis", which is likely the cause of her balance issues. All these findings are likely caused by a lack of oxygen to Sarah's brain while I was pregnant with her.  The doctor told us that his diagnosis for Sarah is a mild form of Cerebral Palsy."  

Cerebral palsy (CP) is a disorder that affects muscle tone, movement, and motor skills (the ability to move in a coordinated and purposeful way). Cerebral palsy can also lead to other health issues, including vision, hearing, and speech problems, and learning disabilities.

CP is usually caused by brain damage that occurs before or during a child's birth, or during the first 3 to 5 years of a child's life. There is no cure for CP, but treatment, therapy, and special equipment can help a child who is living with the condition.  Cerebral palsy affects muscle control and coordination, so even simple movements like standing still are difficult. Other vital functions that also involve motor skills and muscles such as breathing, bladder and bowel control, eating, and learning may also be affected when a child has CP. Cerebral palsy does not get worse over time.

So, back to present day. Where are we now and what have we learned? Over time, the shock wore off. I was reminded by family and friends that the label doesn't change who Sarah is, nor does it define her. We went through two and a half years in the Early Intervention Program until Sarah turned five. They were memorable times and I learned a lot about how Sarah was and is developing. 

Sarah experiences most of the symptoms that CP displays. Her learning is slower than others which is also due to the severe microcephaly, but that's another post in itself. She has a very unbalanced diet which is high in carbohydrates and low in meats and veggies. It's not for a lack of effort on my part that's for sure. Her muscle tone, movements and motor skills are also compromised because of the cerebral palsy. 

I am thankful that she knows no different though. What Sarah lacks in many skills, she excels in others. She can love in ways that even I can't comprehend. She is loveable, charming and a delight to be around. Her laugh is contagious and she knows how to make anyone smile. She loves going to church and the people there have become like her second family. She is so eager to play outside with her friend Mr. Bruce and she even brought her snow clothes to church on Sunday so he could take her out. She loves people deeply and many of them have a special place in her heart.

As for me, there are occasionally moments and even days where I find myself hurting inside again. It's tough to know that she likely will not ever meet her peers' developmental level and always be behind. In fact, that gap will continue to get larger as time goes on. Watching her alongside other kids her age or even younger is hard at times. 

But, I am so thankful for the encouragement of friends and the love and support they provide. It's been quite the journey so far and I look forward to seeing where we continue to go.











Friday, November 14, 2014

To My Older Three Kids

Dear Children of Mine,

I don't know if you will read this today, tomorrow or ever but I wanted to share some thoughts with you about Sarah.

~ I want you to know that even though I'm the mom, I understand what it's like to have someone in our family who has different needs than you. When others look at Sarah because she doesn't answer them. Or when they ask "what's wrong with her?" and you don't know the answer. Because to you and to me, she is just Sarah and we know no different.

~ I know it hurts to have someone laugh at Sarah when she does things differently. And I think it's okay to feel a little embarrassed once in a while. My heart hurts for you when that happens and I pray for God's peace to surround you in those moments.

~ I understand that it's hard to explain that although she's six and a half years old, Sarah behaves and speaks like she's only three. Yeah, that's tough too.

~ I also want you to know how much I appreciate you and your unconditional love for her. She's pretty lucky to be the youngest of four siblings and have you all wrapped around her little fingers.

~ She adores you three. You are the light in her day, the rescuers, the huggers, the cuddlers, the ones she looks up to. I don't think we will ever tire of her asking for a "hug-uppy" and feel her tiny arms wrap around our neck in complete love.

~ There is something wonderful about having a little sister who is staying smaller just a little bit longer than others. It makes it easier to pull her into our laps for those "cungles" that she lives for.


 Throwback to fall 2010


To Joshua: You are the big brother. Her knight in shining armour. She looks to you to wrestle, climb over and play with. And at the same time, snuggle under a blanket watching a movie. Cherish those moments with her.


To Andrea: Sarah's elation when you walk in the door from work is something that delights me and fills my heart with joy. The way she exclaims "You came back!" as though you'd been gone for days. You are her hero. Enjoy those sweet moments when she wakes you up and wants to climb into your bed for a snuggle.

To Arianna: You are the one that she needs at night. She waits sleepily for you to come to bed and then snuggle with her, giving her the feeling of security into the night. She looks for you when you aren't here and is so happy when you're around. I love watching your relationship with her grow. I know it's tough at times because she can't play with you the way you'd like a little sister to, but I can't tell you how much I appreciate when you play with her and her toys. I know how special you are to her.



Thank you three for being the best brother and sisters that Sarah could ask for. She is so incredibly blessed to have you all to love her for who she is. Joshua, Andrea and Arianna, you are each so amazing and I love you very much.


Fall 2014

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Sensory Bins

The other day I came to the re-realization that there are very few supports for Sarah and myself since I chose to homeschool her as a special needs student. I began to do some looking online at something called "sensory bins" which is a bin that is filled with pretty much anything the imagination can conjure.

So... I bought an e-book that talks about what to use as the base:

  1. rice (colored or not)
  2. pasta (cooked or dry)
  3. popcorn kernels
  4. oats
  5. flour
  6. cloud dough
  7. dried beans
  8. shredded paper or Easter basket hay
  9. water
  10. sand
  11. dirt
  12. flour
  13. cereal
  14. marbles
  15. water beads
  16. cotton balls
  17. shaving cream
Really, the list is endless... My first bin that I created was with rice. Dyed red. This rice bin kept Sarah occupied for 4.5 hours! Once the base is determined, you can add whatever you'd like to engage their minds. A lot of the ones you'll find online are very thematic and I may go that way later but for now, I'm doing Sarah's purely for the play value.





Then I found a recipe for cloud dough which is 1/4 cup of vegetable (or baby) oil and 2 cups of flour. I didn't have an oil based food dye so mine didn't color. But that's on my shopping list! :) 










Even Arianna got in on the fun!


Then I began to dye popcorn!






And chickpeas!!




It's only been two days but so far it's kept her busy for hours! I can't wait to use these super colorful items and expand on Sarah's play time! 

(ALL methods of coloring were found online, none of them were my own idea)

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Depression Part 4 (My Point of View)

Doug's medications had been working quite well together for a while now, but over a coffee a few weeks ago, we talked about how the meds keep him from reaching the lows that occurred but also prevent him from experiencing high emotions as well. There were also an increasing number of inconsistent days where dips would appear. So, he checked in with his doctor who increased the dosage of one medication... but Doug quickly  proved to be in the 1-2% of people who suffer from adverse side effects and went downhill. He felt a buzzing or tingling inside his head and became more down than he had before. He couldn't stay at work for a full day, lasting no longer than 1:00pm before leaving for the day.

It was an extremely rough couple of weeks for us.


Last Wednesday, Doug texted me about how he was doing (not good) and I felt like I reached a point where I did not know what to do anymore. I have been praying for and about this for months and that day, I told God "I don't know what to say anymore- I feel done." And my heart broke just a little more for my husband who was struggling emotionally even more than me. On Friday, he went back to the doctor because clearly, this path was not working for any of us. He was given another medication and was told it only takes 2-4 days to begin working and that we should notice a difference quite soon. Because the other medication was still in his system, the weekend was pretty bumpy. We kept busy by painting the interior of our main floor but Doug's energy and focus really suffered. It was finally yesterday that I began to see a change in him. (The first being that he spent the whole day at work compared to the previous week of being unable to do that.) 
It is hard to put into words of how it felt to know your husband is suffering with extremely sad emotions, tiredness and has a very dull outlook on life. I wanted to be so careful of how I reacted to him, cautious of what I'd say and ensure that the house stayed at a fairly calm level of activity. He was supposed to be my strength and rock - but that was not the case this time. I was continually pulled to Psalm 62:2, 5-8 which reads:

2 He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will never be shaken.
5 Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. 
6 He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. 
7 My salvation and my honour depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. 
8 Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. 

God is my refuge. God is my rock. God is my strength. And in Him, I find hope. 

Romans 5:3-5 says: 3 "Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. "

These verses say that Christians are expected to experience suffering and the response to suffering is to rejoice. How do we do that? By knowing that my faith enables me to know that suffering is productive. 

What does suffering produce? Perseverance. A steadiness to hang in there and not falter under pressure. Perseverance produces a character that says "I will not let this destroy me" and I will have the strength to get through it. And character produces hope. Hope that I will share the Glory of God. Christ's image is being produced in me and I am becoming more like Jesus who emulates compassion, love, strength, purity and patience. 
God knows what I need - the commitment to hold on when I want to let go, the qualities I need for tomorrows and the certainty of God's promises. He is faithful time and time again. Through all the hills and valleys of this journey of life on earth. He shows me mercy and grace and His love is unfailing. 

Photo by Stephanie



Saturday, September 27, 2014

Pediatrician Appointment {09.18.14}

For the first time (ever?) Sarah did not cry at the doctor's appointment. She wasn't exactly cheerful but she wasn't in her typical meltdown mood. It was just a quick weigh in and measure up check so we were in and out within 15 minutes.

She's doing just fine and the pediatrician said I'm doing "too good of a job of caring for her." And with that, he said we didn't have to come back for SIX months unless I had any concerns and we can come in at any time.

She is 43 inches tall (6th percentile), 37 pounds (4th percentile) and her head is 46 centimeters (-3.5 units below Standard Deviation). This measurement has not changed since last December.

Last Sunday, I got a little pony tail in her hair for church! She didn't love it but tolerated it. 
I thought she looked SO cute!

Friday, September 26, 2014

School: My Thoughts, Views and Our Story

Homeschooling isn't just about academics, it's a lifestyle. 
And it's what we've chosen for our kids. ~

When Joshua was five years old, I began exploring school options for him. A friend of ours had been homeschooling their son who was a year older than Joshua and really encouraged me to try it out. The thought of it was overwhelming and so we ended up sending him to kindergarten that fall. The year was rough on him. He was frequently bored and spent much time away from others because he'd be done sooner than the others and would become a distraction. The teacher was fresh out of college and this was her first year. I had no idea what to do either and having the mind-set of "finish what we began", he endured the 10 months of kindergarten. I knew I had to do something different for grade one so I did some research and the next year, he was registered for school at home. He flew through the grade one books that I bought and it quickly became clear that moving at his pace was the way to go.

In the meantime, Andrea was in the same kindergarten that Joshua was. Her time in the classroom was alright but she had her first taste of physical bullying at the young age of five. I wish I was bolder and braver then because I wouldn't have made her endure the year. Why nothing was done, I don't know. Even though that is in the past, some of those memories still rise up in her. She too began the homeschooling adventure when she was in grade one.

The year was pretty busy with a grade two, grade one and toddler hanging out but we did it. Lots of reading together, writing and staying on target with their Language Arts.

I have tried lots of different home education formats. From being 100% aligned with the curriculum guidelines to the opposite end of the spectrum, being traditional to a blended program where the kids went to school twice a week and I homeschooled the other three days. For three and a half years, the blended program worked really well. Arianna was in grade one, Andrea grade five and Joshua grade six. In February of 2011, Doug and I made the choice to take the kids out of the school system and begin full time homeschooling again.


Since 2011, the kids have stayed on target with their math and LA skills. For science we did units on astronomy and social looked at some government and Bible history. Last year was a little different as Joshua was preparing to transition into the local high school. He did aligned courses in math, LA and social and did very well. He didn't do the science course. Was he unprepared for what grade 10 had to offer? Probably. Will he succeed? Absolutely.

Andrea is currently in grade nine. She is doing an aligned math curriculum and her LA skills will come out as she writes essays and reports on the medieval history lessons that she's reading about. For science this year, both girls are doing Anatomy and Physiology together. Arianna is working on grade five level vocabulary, spelling, reading and writing and her social is learning about the geography of Canada. Andrea intends to continue and complete her education at home. I don't know what that looks like today... I'm not looking at next fall yet. I also know her character and work ethic and believe with all my heart that she will succeed in whatever she does. If she choses to change her mind, then that will be okay but for now, I'm sure that she will do her high school years in the dining room.

Homeschooling the kids was not a choice that Doug and I made lightly. We prayed about it often, and still do. Until we feel led otherwise, we believe that this is the best choice for our kids and our family.





Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Grade 10

In 2004, I sent my first born off to kindergarten.

For the past nine years I have been a vital part of Joshua's education through homeschooling. We endured the lows and rejoiced in the highs. It has been a wonderful experience to get him to this point in his life. Today, I dropped him off at the same high school that Doug and I attended 20 years ago. 

I hope and pray that the next three formative years go well for him. I've given him all the tools I could in order to succeed. 

Today I sent my first born off to grade 10!


Thursday, August 28, 2014

Blog Birthday!


Seven years ago, I began writing and journaling through this blog. I've taken a bit of a break for the month of August, but hopefully will get back into it once fall rolls around.

Monday, August 11, 2014

Fear

Have you ever been afraid of something or of doing something? I'm talking so afraid that the thought of doing it is paralyzing? I really hadn't thought of myself as being a fearful person until something occurred four weeks ago. When I received the news that I have multiple PVC's in my heart beat, I very quickly thought that walking wasn't going to be good for me any more. Looking back, obviously that wasn't (and isn't) the case but I was not to be convinced otherwise at the time. After being told the news of my heart, I stopped walking. For three weeks I didn't leave my house on foot. I couldn't even leave my driveway unless I was in the van. One morning I mustered up (what I thought was enough) courage. I tied up my shoes and headed out. And physically was unable to push myself to walk. I was paralyzed with fear and could not go further. I won't go into details about that but I'm thankful for the loving encouragement that came from some friends that morning.

This fear that I struggled with was not from God, but rather Satan who wanted to interfere with my growing relationship with God. The fear of walking also stemmed from some emotional stuff I was going through. A few days after I delivered my testimony, I began to question if I should have done it or not. I was consumed with seconding guessing myself, fearing the judgement of others and doubting if what I experienced was even real. I spent many hours pouring over my Bible, praying and asking friends to intercede in prayer as well. It was a really tough battle and at times I wondered if I'd be able to pull myself out of the pit.

During this time, God never left my side. He was patiently waiting with His hand stretched out, just longing for me to reach out and trust Him. Trust Him with my life, my health, my family, my friends, my everything. On July 29, I woke up with God saying to me "Okay Stephanie, time for reconciliation. I surrendered my guilt, fears, questioning doubt, my faults and failures and laid them at His feet. I began to have the sense that if I was able to conquer the fear of walking, a door would be opened for me and my walk with Jesus would grow to a deeper level. On August 2, I stepped out in faith and went for a short walk for the first time in 21 days.

So what did I learn?

Fear is not from God, it brings torment to our soul and it is a manifestation of the kingdom of darkness. Satan uses fear to stop us from fulfilling the call of God; it is one of the devil's greatest weapons. Fear causes doubt, second guessing and it can paralyze us from doing what is right in God's sight. It also prevents us from trusting in Him with ourselves. Second Timothy 1:7 says "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, of love and of a sound mind." God desired to free me from the bondage of fear and it was up to me to change my thinking.

Since then I have ventured on a few walks. I haven't made it up to the distance and time that I was at earlier this summer but I believe that with time it will come. God will provide me with the strength I need. He will protect me, remove my fears and doubts and NEVER leave my side.


Psalm 56:3 "What I am afraid, I will trust in you."

Sunday, July 20, 2014

"The Words of Our Testimony"

Every Sunday morning, our pastor begins the service with "What has God been doing in your life this week?" allowing people to share something that is important to them. I've never spoken up in part because I'm never prepared and I'm not really a spur-of-the-moment kind of person.

Well, last Monday, Doug suggested that I consider sharing at church, something that occurred last week. I’ll begin with the events that preceded that, some of which he talked about last Sunday. I’m a writer so what I say today will be very much like a story being told but that’s the way I do things. Today, for almost six minutes, I overcame my incredible fear of speaking to large groups and shared this with our church. I'm thankful for the friend who stood by me as I spoke and I'm convinced that she was holding me up so I didn't collapse on the floor. 


Last December, I embarked on a journey that has changed my life forever. It began with the question of “What is my relationship with God like?” Followed by “How would I like my relationship with God to change?” The past seven months have seen my walk with Jesus change in ways I didn’t even know were possible. I went from thinking my relationship with God was me talking, Him listening but nothing more, nothing deeper, to learning that God is so much more than just One who listens. And I have learned to listen back. 


Like Doug mentioned last week, it has been 15 years since my mum died of congestive heart failure. She was 44 years old. Eight years ago, my mum’s brother had a heart transplant. Their mum died of a heart attack at 56. The genetics don’t really seem to be in my favour. I had some routine lab work done on the 9th of July. I wasn’t worried much until the next day when the doctor called and said I needed to come in and discuss my results. I just thought and hoped that it would be something like my thyroid or a vitamin deficiency. The next day, as I was getting ready for the doctor appointment, I heard a voice in my head say “You will have something to say about this. Believe in me.”  

The doctor said my blood work was normal and fine which could only mean a heart issue. I received the news that I have something called multiple PVCs which means my heart has a lot of extra beats in the normal rhythm. In a person with no heart issues, this wouldn’t be a problem or even exist, but with my family history, I needed to get checked out further. Friday afternoon brought a friend over and we shared a coffee and prayer time on my back deck. That evening I wrote in my journal “I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. And my God will meet all [my] needs according to His glorious riches.” Philippians 4:13 & 19. I was confident that God had it and I didn’t need to fret about it. So far, so good. Later that afternoon I received an encouraging text that said, “He is all that He says He is. Lean on Him, listen to His heartbeat. Believe in Him! He has good plans.”


Early the next morning, was Saturday and as I was doing my devotions, I heard the same voice whisper “You’ll have a story to tell.”  I kept telling myself that I needed to believe I could be healed. I had been having a few really good weeks. God was good to me. Then this heart stuff came. Had I become comfortable in my faith? Comfort would rob me of my dependency on God and in my trials, I would need to turn to Him so He could answer my prayers and receive the glory. 

That night, I believe I suffered from a panic attack. My heart began to pound and race, my blood pressure read numbers higher than Doug’s were, my chest felt tight, I was light headed and even in my 30 degree bedroom, I felt cold. I don’t know how long it lasted but it was close to half an hour. Although my heart was still racing I managed to fall into a restless, fitful sleep. I told Doug the next morning what had occurred and he lovingly encouraged me to tell him sooner if it happened again. 

Last week Sunday while the ladies were praying for me, my chest felt warm and the pounding of my heart calmed down as L prayed over me and I felt a physical relief. Because the scare from the attack was still vivid in my mind, I had a hard time making myself relax on Sunday, my heart was still in overdrive. That afternoon I was constantly checking my blood pressure and finally around 4:00, it had reached a level that was more to what I was used to. Then I heard something in my head tell me “Do not check it any more.”  I was drawn to John 14:27 which in the New Living Translation says,“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” I don’t know how many times I read it over and over. I wanted peace. I needed peace… Something that only He could give.


It was still a pretty rough afternoon for me as I remembered my mom but I received lengthy and uplifting texts from a friend and a dozen yellow roses from Doug’s parents, which were always my mum’s favorites.

Initially, I wasn’t going to visit the cemetery but around 7:30, I had this urge to get out of the house and simply be alone. When I arrived there I cried. Lots. And I prayed, pouring out my heart to my Father. I asked God to heal me completely from my backaches to my headaches and that when I see the cardiologist, he sees nothing wrong. I cried some more. After chatting with a friend by texting, I then received a message that said “Crying breaks down the walls around our heart and that’s when we can become vulnerable enough for the Holy Spirit to start working.” I replied that if that’s the case, then the walls of my heart must just be a pile of dust. I turned to face the headstone, looking towards the sunset which was behind some trees. I looked up, with my eyes closed and the sun got brighter and brighter, blindingly so. It was almost red and my eyes were not even physically able to open. My face got hot. Not that yucky sweaty hot but a dry burning hot. And then I felt a physical peace cover me. I believe with all my heart that the Holy Spirit had come!  Then as the intensity dimmed, I knew that my time there was over. I shared this experience with Doug and even after I got home, I could still feel the heat on my face which lasted for the remainder of the evening.


I cried many tears, surrendered myself to God many times. On Sunday night, Doug and I prayed against anything spiritual in our bedroom that may have caused the attack the previous evening and we slept better that night that we had in weeks. I woke up on Monday morning feeling such peace in my soul.  This stayed with me until Tuesday. But on Wednesday I could feel the exhilaration start to fade and by Thursday night I began to question if I should even share what happened. I was filled with doubt and it was as though I had been depleted of all hope and peace.

I woke up on Friday morning determined to turn those negative feelings around again. I had two hours with God before anyone else had woken up and I had read a chapter in David Chotka’s book that speaks on the “words of our testimony”.  It tells of the need to commit to talk about Jesus when the opportunity arises, how God’s grace was experienced and the reality of Jesus. That was the exact confirmation that I needed. And so here I am now. Sharing with you what God has done in MY life this week.


I’m not sure what the next step is or where God will take me. But, in the words of my mum, God is and all is well. 


First Teeth!

Sarah's bottom two teeth have been loose for a while now and on Friday I could see that they were hardly attached. I knew they had to come out and I didn't want them to get swallowed because I felt Sarah shouldn't just have them disappear. I thought trying to explain that they were in her tummy would be more traumatic than taking them out myself. Well, she cried, in fact fought it terribly, but I won this one! She recovered quickly and when asked how she felt, she replied with "Happy!" I had told her that when they came out I'd take her to the store for a treat. When I asked her if she wanted to go out, she only asked for chocolate chips. Since she has no concept of the "tooth fairy" or money, this was an easy exchange - teeth for chocolate chips!



Sunday's Song: Overcome



Seated above, enthroned in the Father's love
Destined to die, poured out for all mankind
God's only Son, perfect and spotless one
He never sinned but suffered as if He did

All authority
Every victory is Yours
All authority
Every victory is Yours

Savior, worthy of honor and glory
Worthy of all our praise, You overcame
Jesus, awesome in power forever
Awesome and great is Your name, You overcame

Power in hand speaking the Father's plan
You're sending us out, light in this broken land

We will overcome by the blood of the Lamb
And the word of our testimony, everyone overcome

Thursday, July 10, 2014

July 13, 2014



On Sunday, it will be fifteen years since my life was forever altered. After suffering for such a long time with a sick heart, God called my Mum to her final home in Heaven. At one point I wondered how I would ever survive without her since she was such a vital part of my life. By the grace of God though, I have survived and survived well. Babies have been born, miscarriages occurred, funerals have been attended to, my kids are successful in school and my marriage is still strong.


I wish I could though, just for one day go back in time and retain more of what she was like. I would write about her life, her childhood, her stories. I would record her voice so I could hear say words of encouragement and tell me she loves me. I would take more pictures of the two of us and more with my siblings together. When someone passes away, there are no more photographs. You only have those that you've taken and can hang on to those precious memories. My mum was always behind the lens of the camera so there are actually very few photos of her. One fall day, we booked a photographer and had our family pictures done. My dad had requested an individual picture of my mom and the photographer managed to capture every ounce of beauty that my mum possessed.


She was beautiful inside and out. She took great care in how she looked and was always well made up. Even at the end. She loved her family passionately and took great care of us. Family was very important to her and time together was spent at the lake, skiing in the mountains and one final family trip to Florida in 1994. She always enjoyed a good cup of tea and was willing to drink it with just about anyone who would sit with her.

When I write about my mum, I feel like I write the same things over and over. I want people to know how much I love her and how much she is missed. Even after fifteen years, the dull ache is still in my heart as I remember the woman who was such a critical part of who I am today.


March 23, 1955 - July 13, 1999
In loving memory of Shirley Van Neck
My Mum

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