One year ago...
It was this day in 2011 when I faxed off our first request for a speech assessment for Sarah. In some ways I can't believe it's been that long and in others, I feel like it's been the longest year of our lives. We have faced so many ups and downs when it comes to all the things Sarah has been through. I've lost count of how many doctor appointments, specialists, assessments, procedures and tests we've gone through.
What do we know now? Sarah has been diagnosed with microcephaly, cerebral palsy, global development delays and now possibly sensory processing disorder. That's quite a plateful for such a little girl! I wish I could say I've had great amounts of faith this past year but that wouldn't be the truth. It's come in waves. Some days were (and will continue to be) harder than others and it's those days that I need to remember my childhood rearing of trusting in Him. I know better. I was brought up that way. Application of what you know is often harder than it seems though. I keep trying and each day I learn something new. My little pixie girl has taught me so much about life and unconditional love and she is no different today with a diagnosis than she was a year ago without one. She is charming and sweet. Each day she tackles a new challenge and is learning so much.
This evening our church was blessed to have the Watoto African Children's Choir perform for us. Such amazing stories of children's lives that have been changed. Their faith is one that I'd like to have! We attended this concert as a family and made sure we'd be there early for a good seat. Sarah was loving the 30 minutes beforehand. She ate her snacks, toddled from me over the aisle to her Grandma and then back again. Then the music started and she had a meltdown. Her poor sensitive ears just could not handle the *noise* that she was hearing. She clearly couldn't discern music and was so overstimulated, that Doug and I took turns with her out in the foyer. When Doug brought her back for the final few minutes, Sarah's head was on my left shoulder and my left hand was covering her ear. Her right side was pressed firmly against my cheek in her attempt to block out the drumming. As the momma bear in me was trying to fiercely protect my little cub, the tears began to fall. I was hurting for her. I was sorry I brought her in the sanctuary to begin with and wanted to do everything in my power to make her feel safe. That's my job. To protect her and ensure that she is comfortable where she is.
As I tucked her in to her bed this evening I just held her close and promised that I will go to the ends of the world to make sure she is taken care of... if not by me or her daddy, then by someone she trusts.
Thank you for praying for us as we began this journey. It is far from over but I think we've made great progress over this past year.