Sunday, March 31, 2013

Respite Care

Sometimes the words flow easier than others.  Sometimes, the things I write and share with my readers is hard to do.  I've been asked why I blog and share publicly and I think my reasoning is that maybe my words will help, inspire or encourage someone.  Every so often I need encouraging as well and I find great amounts of support through this medium.  This blog post is a tough one and might not appear all that optimistic.  I've got to get it out there though.  It's my outlet and I'm just doing it.

Last week Sarah and I had our 4th last Early Intervention appointment with Wendy. That means there are only three more visits left.  Three more visits of support, help, advice and ideas.

I had posted a week or so ago about how much of a mess Sarah had gotten into while I was doing some school with the kids.  I had talked about this with Wendy and the idea of respite care came up.  I didn't think I would really ever need to require help like that.  I want to believe that I can do it all on my own.  I mean I'm the mom, I should be able to handle it all.

Wendy's thinking is to have someone come to the house for three hours a day, a few days a week to watch Sarah while I homeschool the older kids.  This would ensure Sarah's safety so I could get school done with the others.  They could receive my full attention and I wouldn't have to be thinking and wondering what she's possibly getting into.  What she can get into can be messy, dangerous or just plain trouble.

I have so many mixed feelings on this idea.  I'm a Mom.  I feel it makes me seem that I am weaker or like I can't handle it all.  This is such a new concept to me.  Any time someone has asked me about it, I've just brushed it off saying that Sarah is easy enough and I am doing fine on my own.  Wendy said it's exhausting to raise (and homeschool) four kids, one who needs extra care.

I'm scared of the {negative} opinions of others and what they might think.  I don't want to come across as weak or incapable.  Am I letting her down by not being able to care for her 100% of the time?  Will I be judged on my request for in-home help? This is something I never thought I'd need or even want.  I suppose didn't imagine that I would be a mom to a child that might benefit from respite care.  This is just plain tough.  All of it.

My daughter needs me, she depends on me and my love to bring the best to her life. I can only do the best I can to help her and provide all opportunities I can. Maybe this is one of them...

Today is Easter Sunday and I will remember the reason we celebrate the season. He HAS risen and I will thank Him for his sacrifice.  I will also thank Him for the amazing blessing that Sarah is and all that I can learn from her.


  1. Stephanie I totally understand where you are coming from.. I went threw the same battle last summer, how hard is it to make a decision that seems so easy right... But yet so many things go threw your mind.. What will others think? But I am super mom I don't need help... Will people see me as a failure of a mother? How is this gonna effect the family? And last but not least I think the hardest part was just admitting to myself that I am not super mom and I do need help.. Once I was able to admit I needed help, it was ok. Things got better. I'm not sure if you were aware of the situation in our house last summer but I was not ok by the end, I did need help having not 1but 2 children who desperately needed something that I could not do on my own, and having 5 other children who where terrified and walking on eggshells. At one point there was the consideration of a group home, and I thank god that I didn't just give up that I found the strength to ask for help cuz it has completely turned our lives around. Between the counselling the respite and the meds... What had been a monster has now turned into nothing more then a kitten. Because I finally was able to admit and ask for help I can be proud and say I must have done something right, been a good mother cuz she's turned into a wonderful girl.! I guess what I'm trying to say is don't feel bad, don't hesitate you are not doing anything wrong, but actually proving that you are a very strong person/mother by making a sacrifice and asking for help!!

  2. Hey stephanie. It's been a while miss going to coffee. Would love to see you again. I too know the struggle. We had respite for years with Ethan and we still struggle with sensory integration disorder. So looking forwards to no sock season. S tired of the socks tears that get cried in our house. We are fully time homeschooling. Would love to meet for coffe or get the kids together. Give me a call Oh don't know if you are interested but Mikaila our oldest daughter,she is 19 , has done respite for our old neighbour for a couple of years. She is a deeply caring committed Christian she is getting ready to go to college in September she would be interested in developing out with Sarah if you would like. Only if you would like please give me a call if you would like to get together. Brandi



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