Sunday, March 20, 2011

Mama's Arms & Sarah

Sometimes nothing else will do.  Sarah still wakes up during the night.  There.  I've said it.  My 2.5 (almost 3 year old), doesn't sleep through the night.  Ever.  Usually she's up just once but occasionally more.  Doug and I aren't the type to follow through with a cry it out method so most nights, Sarah ends up in our bed, sometime between the hours of midnight and 2:00 in the morning.  The easiest way to soothe her is nursing.  So I snuggle up with her for just a few minutes and then she pops in her soother and curls up right against my stomach and chest.  I take these quiet moments to admire her little fingers, long eyelashes and downy hair that is slowly coming in.  I look at her perfectness and am in awe at how wonderful God is. 

One year before Sarah was born (almost to the day), I miscarried for the third time.  I had moments of wondering if I we would even want to try to have another baby.  A loss after weeks of excitement and preparation is devastating.  Shortly after I lost the baby, I had a talk with a very dear friend of mine.  This mentor has since gone to live with her Father in Heaven but there's a few things she said to me that I will never forget.  Number one was: if I hadn't lost the baby that I did, I never would have known the baby I have.  Makes one think doesn't it?  Number two was: why not me?  That was her response to my "why me?"  I never did answer that but it made me think.  I have greater empathy for those who lost babies through miscarriage now.  I understand the hurt and the pain.  I can help comfort those moms because I do understand what it's like.

Now, I know there are people who disagree with how we're letting her sleep with us but I know she won't be in our bed forever and that's just our parenting style.  I am also aware that she is my last baby and although I'd love a full night's sleep, for now, I am going to take these sleepless nights and be thankful that I have a baby to love and hold. 


  1. You are not alone with a toddler that still at night. Violet does, too. Most nights I don't even notice she is with us (and latched on) until hours later. lol Honestly, I think more people than not still have waking toddlers. There is nothing to be ashamed of for continuing to meet your child's needs even at night. We can't just clock out at night. Youare so right. She won't need it forever. Cherish these moments now. I sure am.

  2. Cal still comes to my room at night, and I love those late night snuggles. Mostly I dont know he's there until morning. Sometimes he kicks me too much and I take him back to his bed. But for sure I'll be sad when it ends!

  3. Yes, you are definitely not alone. Ryder ends up in bed with Eric, myself, and the sometimes the present Hudson often. Enjoy your precious time with your sweet girl!



Related Posts with Thumbnails