One year before Sarah was born (almost to the day), I miscarried for the third time. I had moments of wondering if I we would even want to try to have another baby. A loss after weeks of excitement and preparation is devastating. Shortly after I lost the baby, I had a talk with a very dear friend of mine. This mentor has since gone to live with her Father in Heaven but there's a few things she said to me that I will never forget. Number one was: if I hadn't lost the baby that I did, I never would have known the baby I have. Makes one think doesn't it? Number two was: why not me? That was her response to my "why me?" I never did answer that but it made me think. I have greater empathy for those who lost babies through miscarriage now. I understand the hurt and the pain. I can help comfort those moms because I do understand what it's like.
Now, I know there are people who disagree with how we're letting her sleep with us but I know she won't be in our bed forever and that's just our parenting style. I am also aware that she is my last baby and although I'd love a full night's sleep, for now, I am going to take these sleepless nights and be thankful that I have a baby to love and hold.