Monday, August 12, 2013

Monday's Journal

Today was a pretty good day overall. Some downs but lots of ups.  It's been a long time since I really relaxed and took some time for myself. In light of Sarah's recent issue and just the busyness of day to day life, I have felt very stressed. I'm still internally upset over the seizure and trying to sort out how to cope. My stomach still turns over and over any time I think of it and those moments just keep replaying in my mind. The feeling of her limp and then stiff body in my arms is something that will be forever etched in memory.

I tackled and conquered most of the laundry gremlins today. Not all, but a lot. The big girls were at VBS all morning so the house was pretty quiet with just my oldest and youngest around. Then, this afternoon Shaneen came to play with Sarah for a couple of hours. During that time, I hibernated in my room and read a book. Well, about half a book but it's finished now and I get to move on to another one. I am so thankful for those two hours twice a week when Sarah receives all the attention she can possibly handle. She is well cared for and I know that she loves that one on one time.

I think it's hard for us as moms to take a break. We have an "I can do it all" mindset and yet we are so refreshed and rejuvenated after we've stepped away from the chaos that life throws at us. I feel like a better mom after some quiet time and I am able to do things in a more level headed frame of mind. I can know conquer bedtime with a clear head.

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