Catching Up

For my faithful blog followers, I apologize for the long break between posts.  It's been a long and busy few weeks.

I've kept my hands busy by making a few quilts.  I loved how all of these minky/cuddle fabric quilts turned out.  They are so heavy and warm, making them perfect for this super cold snap we are in!

 Sarah's Quilt

Andrea's Quilt

Joshua's Quilt

So yes, I know, I have one more to to make for Arianna.  I plan to take her to the quilting store so she can pick out her print.  

I've also been spending {way too much} time at the dentist.  In December, Arianna began to complain of a sore tooth.  Lo and behold, the x-rays showed quite a few (seven actually) cavities in her poor little mouth.  Trip after trip was made to the dentist and in a matter of 5 weeks, her mouth was taken care of.  She. Was. So. Brave.  She never flinched with the freezing needles and barely complained.  The pride I have for her nearly brings me to tears. 

 Very proud of her silver tooth!

Once she was done that, the older two kids had routine check ups, each to be told they have great teeth and don't have to come back.  Now, after watching my brave little seven year old, I knew it was time to toughen up and go myself.  Knowing I had a few that for sure needed work, I grudgingly went.   Last week was one major filling for a broken tooth and I'm so thankful he was able to save it and not need a root canal.  Today I spent three, yes THREE hours in the dentist's chair getting four teeth fixed.  I have to say, after the freezing wore off, I was in some pretty serious pain.  I'm hoping that the Tylenol 3's and a good night's sleep will help me stay on top of it.

I've also been doing a lot of thinking about Sarah again.  We attended a playgroup session last week and I'm not 100% sure what I expected from it.  It appeared to be just a large room of toys with nothing too scheduled other than a few minutes with a story, song and snack.  I'm not really convinced that it was (or is) going to do her a whole lot of good.  It also made me really sad that she was "grouped" with other children of much more serious needs.  I was really hit hard by that reality.

Last week, my sister posted on FB that her little daughter {who will be 3 in March} went skiing.  Skiing.  Wow.  There is no way that my 3.5 year old could do that... she can't even walk confidently in shoes, never mind skis.  I love my beautiful little niece.  She's my only one and has a very special place in this auntie's heart but admittedly, hearing that she was skiing was also hard on me.  

It took me a while but I did get out of my sad time because Sarah is mine and she is perfect for who she is.  I don't need her to count to 20, say her alphabet or... even ski.  She loves beading with her beads from Grandma, can spend HOURS sitting at the counter with play-doh and will stack her blocks countless times and each time they are knocked down, it's funnier than the time before that.  She is sweet, loving and will give endless hugs.  She may not be ready to ski but watching her learning to run more confidently is encouraging to me.  I continue to see more and more improvements in her abilities each day and I am so proud.  

My heart bursts when she comes toddling towards me in her fuzzy, footed sleeper each morning.  "I need Mom" is my favorite and her most common little phrase.  I mean, what mom doesn't love to be needed.  :)

Loving to bead... on just about anything.

The older kids and I also re-started school.  It took a few days but I think we are finally back into the swing of things.  Each of them is halfway done their math and LA curriculum and if we keep it up, we should be done our year by the end of May.  

The other night I made a lasagna for our weekly supper with Doug's family. This lasagna was big.  I used 2.5 pounds of ground beef, 22 lasagna noodles, 3 jars of pasta sauce, 2 cans of tomato paste, 1.4 Kg of cottage cheese, and 0.5 Kg of mozzarella cheese.  It easily fed all of us to being full plus I was able to individually freeze the leftovers for lunches for Doug.   What a wonderful tradition this has been.  I love getting together with them, sharing a meal and totally enjoying each others' company. 

Well, I think that about wraps the catching up for now.  Hopefully things will settle down (a bit) and I'll be able to keep up with the blogging!  

Back to Routine

If I were to say that our first day back at the books was pleasant, successful or even tolerable, I'd be lying.  After a very long break (we didn't do much in November due to Sarah's appointments and essentially took three weeks off in December), getting into the routine of school was like nailing bubbles to the wall.  The older two weren't too keen on getting out of bed in the first place and it really didn't get a whole lot better from there.  I had a visit with a friend which was a wonderful break in my day but I felt like I nagged at the kids most of the day and to what benefit?  In the end, I released them to the beckoning sunshine, made a cup of coffee and snuggled down to watch a movie with my runny nosed three year old. 
I made a delicious supper, we watched Mr. Popper's Penguins (cute movie) and spent the evening just being together.
I tucked all three of my kids into bed with a hug, kiss, an apology and a promise that tomorrow will be better. 
As Miss. Stacy, from Anne of Green Gables said while walking home with Anne, "Tomorrow is a new day, with no mistakes in it."

Seven on Saturday

• I love it when my nephew comes over for the day.  He's kind of like a little brother to Joshua.
• I'd like to start reading and eventually completing the BBC's Top 100 Books. 
• I'm in an organizing/purging phase.  Children beware!
• I have a soft spot for sleepy toddlers in fuzzy sleepers.
• Coffee is my weakness.  Especially with my creamer.  One of my daily treats.
• I am completely in love with my family.
• I am weirdly particular about grammar and spelling. 

And that's all for now.  I hope you all have a blessed weekend.

Sarah's Quilt

So I stumbled upon a beautiful quilt kit which was full of ultra soft Minky material.  The backing to this quilt had the cutest monkey print... who better for than Sarah!  I couldn't resist and in a matter of 8 hours, I had made this super plush, ultra soft quilt for my monkey loving girl!

 Here's the happy owner snuggling in!

Doug figures I should make one like this (different prints of course) for our KING sized bed.  I'm not so sure about that.

Bloodwork

When Sarah saw the genetics doctor in November, we were given a requisition for blood work.  We knew the results would take 9-12 months anyhow so I didn't feel any urgency to get it done.  December flew by in a flurry of activities and suddenly January was upon us.  Rather than stalling, I finally just made an appointment for Sarah at the lab so I wouldn't have any more excuses. 

I went today and was happy to see my preferred lab tech working and requested that she did the blood draw.  The moment I sat down in the waiting area, Sarah began to cry, asking to go home.  Poor darling didn't know what was going to happen but she was sure she wouldn't like it.

It was determined that Sarah has small veins (no kidding) and it would be a tough deal.  In addition to the tech doing the poke, we had an additional tech hold her arm so I could hold her furiously fighting little body.  The initial poke went in, the vein was cooperative and it seemed like we were fine, until something moved and they *lost* the vein.  So, we flipped sides and began to look at the other arm.  Once again, the first poke was successful but this time, they had a third tech switch the vials so that there would be no chance of moving the needle.  So it took three lab techs plus myself to get the required amount of blood.  Poor thing was SO upset by this point. 

As we headed out, I stopped at the pharmacy for a treat of her choice.  Sarah picked a King sized Kit Kat bar and enjoyed most of it on her own. 

This afternoon has been spent cuddling with me or any one of her siblings watching movies. 

Something new... and fun

I didn't get this idea on my own, but rather from a fellow blogger.  It's called blog-jogging, a fun way to meet other bloggers and maybe even make a few friends. 

The idea is to visit bloggers I know and comment on their blogs then visit the blogger that commented before me on their posts.

I figured this would work out pretty well since we were reading the same blogs we must be destined to be blogging friends.

I started just this morning and it's been quite fun to find new blogs!  There are some WONDERFUL writers out there, many of whom share my love for kids, homeschooling and even coffee.

So, let's try this!  Start on my post, make a comment and then go visit the person who posted before you.  If you're the first, just scroll down to where someone has made a comment on a previous post and start there.  If you feel like making a comment there, just link back to me so they know where you *came from*. 

And, have fun.  :)

Blog Train

I would like to first thank Lisa at An Ordinary Life for this blogger award.  It's exciting for me to know other people are reading my blog!

I have only just discovered her blog myself today.  However, after perusing it this evening it's one I will often visit I am sure.

The rules of this award are:

• Thank the person that nominated you with a link back to them.
• Tell everyone seven things about yourself.
• Pass this award on to 15 newly discovered blogs and let them know that they’ve received an award!

Seven things about myself:

1. I have been homeschooling my four kids for 7 years now.
2. I married my high school sweetheart in 1997.
3. I have lived in the same city for my entire life.
4. My youngest daughter has a {new} diagnosis of Cerebral Palsey
5. I love coffee.
6. I am a morning person.
7. I am a photographer... loving newborns, children and families!

My 15 (er... 13) personal choice award-winners (though they may not be newly-discovered):

1. Virtual Cup of Tea
2. Sojourner
3. Living in a House of All Boys
4. Sprouts and Wings
5. Stars Hollow
6. The Goertzen Girls... and Art
7. The Ford Five
8. The Olsen Chronicles
9. A Big Girl and a Baby Girl Too
10. Chickadee Lane
11. Visit the Porch 
12. Mamazee's Homeschool Gym
13. An Examined Life

Happy New Year to all my readers.  I hope this blog post leads you to new places that you'll visit.
Stephanie 

2011 in Review

Well, to say this was an eventful year would be an understatement.  Here's a look at what our year looked like.

JANUARY

• The year started off fresh and new.  No expectations.  A clean slate.  It was interesting to see what this year held for us.  

FEBRUARY

• We took the older three kids out of their part time school program to full time homeschool.  Quite a big adjustment but one that we all were happy with. 
• I celebrated my 35th birthday.

MARCH

• Kept on with some light schooling as we were in a phase of unschooling and deprogramming.  Lots of trips to the science center, walks and park days.

APRIL

• Doug and I began to question the level of Sarah's speech and had it assessed.  This was the first step in a long road of further tests.

MAY

• Arianna and Joshua celebrated their 7th and 11th birthdays respectively.  A fun time partying with family and friends.
• Following the speech assessment, we had Sarah's development checked out.  
• Doug started a new job at Merge Systems.

JUNE

• My mom's brother celebrated his 6th year after a heart transplant.  God is good.
• Sarah turned three years old!
• Results from the developmental assessment showed a fairly large range of delays in all her areas of growth.  Registering in Early Intervention for Sarah.

JULY

• This month was spent at parks, with friends and enjoying the (very few) warm days outside.
• Met our new pediatrician.  He specializes in children with special needs and delays.
• Sarah received her first official diagnosis of having Microcephaly.
• We also began the lengthy process of  referrals to specialists for Sarah

AUGUST

• Spent a day making jam with Doug's mom.  I think we came out at 48 jars of raspberry jam!
• Doug and I celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary together. 
• Sarah saw an opthamologist for her eyes.  Although they are deep set, her vision is fine.
• We celebrated Doug's birthday with our annual lobster boil with Alicia, Paul (their kids) and Nathan and Melanie over.  It was a great time!

SEPTEMBER

• I began homeschooling grades 2, 6 & 7.  A grand adventure lays ahead of us!
• Joshua started youth group (Shock!)
• Andrea celebrated a much anticipated 11th birthday and received her precious bunny as a gift! 
• Sarah continued to receive home visits from Wendy every couple weeks.  We are learning more each time and I'm always wanting to find ways to help Sarah at home.

OCTOBER

• Doug put his back out on Thanksgiving Monday.  So bad that he needed crutches and daily visits to the chiropractor for a week.  (He still sees the chiro on a now weekly basis)
• Joshua, Andrea and I began helping at Daybreak at church.  Sarah attends the toddler program and Arianna does school with a friend those mornings.

 NOVEMBER

• Sarah had a playgroup assessment.  Nothing new showed up.  Still a lot of pressure to put her in a preschool.  I continue to put my foot down, insisting that (for now) she is better off at home.
• She also had an MRI, Genetics testing and a pediatric follow up.
• We received the blow that Sarah has Cerebral Palsy.  Lots to process.  
• The genetics doctor suggests some type of chromosomal abnormality that can possibly be determined by blood work. There is a chance though (30%) that nothing will show up and we won't be any further ahead.
• I think I homeschooled 5 out of the possible 20 this month.  Kind of a write off.  Thank goodness for traditional homeschooling.

DECEMBER

• Our dog needed surgery to remove a stone in her bladder.  To date, she seems to be doing better.
• No appointments this month other than one home visit.  
• Doug officially resigned his position of Chairman of the board at church.  He remains on the board as an elder. 
• His back is still in recovery mode.  Seems like it's two steps forward, one step back.  Almost like a little reminder for him to take it easy still.
• We did a little bit of school but nothing much.  There's always next year.
• Arianna received two major tooth fillings, one being a root canal.  She was so brave!!
• We celebrated Christmas with many family and friends.  It was a time to remember our Saviour's birth and think about what really matters.

Well, that's about it for this year.  We're currently *staycationing* at Doug's parent's place for the New Year's weekend and enjoying the peace and quiet.  Lots of family time and hanging out together.

Wordless Wednesday

I blog-lifted from my dear friend KELLY this morning.  Over the past few weeks her little guys have all had some sort of the stomach flu.  The poor girl.  You can check out her good looking dudes in the link above.

Here's my handful of blessings.  I love them from the bottom of my heart.

Christmas

It's that time of year again.  The season of Christmas lights, carols, baking treats, family, presents and an overall feeling of festiveness.  I have had a harder time this year and I really can't put my finger on it.  My heart just wasn't as *into it* as I have been in the past.  Maybe because of Sarah's diagnosis.  Maybe because of other family stresses that we've gone through.  Who knows.  But what I do know is that as the special day of December 25th approaches, my excitement and anticipation is growing.  I love to wrap presents.  I love to buy things for people that make them feel special.  I love to bake and share it.  Just thinking about spending Christmas Eve morning with my in-laws makes my heart excited.  Sitting by their wood burning stove, drinking a coffee, watching the kids delight their grandparents is enough to make me wonder if I'll even sleep tonight.  Thinking about driving down Candycane Lane after the carol service at church and watching the kids open their traditional pajamas.  I'm eagerly anticipating their delight as they open the Lion King Special Edition DVD for us to watch while we sample oodles of appetizers, treats and drinks.

When I was growing up, my siblings and I were told we couldn't wake our parents up until a certain time.  I'm sure it wasn't that late but it could have been 10:00 in the morning for what it felt like to me.  The early riser.  Guess who wakes everyone up now?  Yes.  Me.  I don't sleep much on Christmas Eve and it's me who slips into everyone's bedroom, gently (and excitedly) waking them up.  Even though my excitement of the season didn't start quite as soon as other years, I don't expect that the morning of this year's December 25 will be any different. 

I wish you all a very Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

From us to you, have a very 

Merry Christmas and a blessed new year!

My son

A few weeks ago, Joshua was at a youth event and for whatever reason, he decided to empty his pockets and show me what he had in them.  This made me smile because ever since he was a little boy, he's always carried "stuff" in his pockets.  Anyhow, the picture below shows what he thought was important to bring along.

•  flashlight
• 2 plastic bags
•  pen
• pocket knife (we'll discuss why this isn't a church appropriate item later)
• compass
• magnifying glass
• extra toilet paper (not shown in picture)

I love that on the fun side of this picture is that on Friday night, Joshua attended his first "formal" banquet at church with the youth group.  It was a dressy affair and all the kids looked great!

I must say, my young man cleans up pretty nicely!  Growing up. Strong and handsome.  I love him so much!

Sadie

We have a little black dog.  She's a Havanese poodle cross.  She has been part of our family since she was 9 weeks old.  Like any animal, Sadie has become a member of our family and we are all quite fond of her.  Earlier this spring, Sadie had a seizure.  We had kind of hoped it was a bit of a fluke but over the course of time, she was having more and more of them.  After numerous trips to the vet to sort out her phenobarb levels, it seemed like we had them under control.  So we thought.  She is recently began having at least one seizure per week and sometimes more. 
About three weeks ago, we noticed that she was having lots of *wet* accidents on the floor.  Not just the odd one but multiple times a day.  We were beginning to think this was a neurological response to the seizures and that we would possibly be thinking about her quality of life.  One morning, she had four accidents before 11:00 and so I called the vet.  Thankfully, our vet was in and could see Sadie that afternoon.  After doing an examination and taking all my concerns into consideration, the doctor went to take a urine sample to see if Sadie had a bladder infection.  Because she had gone at home, there was nothing to sample but the vet requested an x-ray because she could feel something in that area.  As it turns out, Sadie has a stone in her bladder.  This stone is the size of a large cherry.  Now inside a little 11 pound dog, that is a pretty good sized rock.  Our options were few.  One being surgery to remove it (not a cheap fix let me say) or a more... final procedure. 
I came home with Sadie and explained it to the kids.  Three sets of tear filled eyes looked at me and Andrea finally voiced "well, you ARE going to do the surgery right Mom?"  I told her that I'd talk to Dad and get back to them about what we thought.  Lying in bed that night, Doug and I talked about our options (few as they were).  Since we determined that the peeing in the house is most frustrating and that we feel we can manage the seizures, we decided to go ahead with the operation.  Sadie is still really young and as I said before, a member of the family.  I also told the kids that because of the cost, we would have to give up all extras like eating out, coffee runs and other treats.  They were all very eager to comply. 
Although this surgery will fix the bladder problem, it won't cure the seizures.  She is still an epileptic dog and we will (for now) continue to medicate and manage this issue. 
Who knew a little bundle of black fluff would work her way into our hearts so deeply...

What is Cerebral Palsy

I stumbled upon a fantastic website FILLED with information about Cerebral Palsy while I was searching and I wanted to get the important {to me} points all on one page that I could see them.  Whenever I become involved in something, be it homeschooling, scrapbooking, photography or now, CP, I tend to become passionate about it and try to learn as much as I can about it.  Right now, my fingers are busy clicking on site after site, to learn whatever I can about my daughter.  The following information is taken from that site.

What is Cerebral Palsy?

- While cerebral palsy is a blanket term commonly referred to as CP and described by loss or impairment of motor function, cerebral palsy is actually caused by brain damage. The brain damage is caused by brain injury or abnormal development of the brain that occurs while a child’s brain is still developing before birth, during birth, or immediately after birth.
- Cerebral palsy affects body movement, muscle control, muscle coordination, muscle tone, reflex, posture and balance. It can also impact fine motor skills, gross motor skills and oromotor functioning.
- Current research suggests the majority of cerebral palsy cases result from abnormal brain development or brain injury prior to birth or during labor and delivery.
- An individual with cerebral palsy will likely show signs of physical impairment. However, the type of movement disorder, the location and number of limbs involved, as well as the extent of impairment, will vary from one individual to another. It can affect arms, legs, and even the face; it can affect one limb, several, or all.
- Cerebral palsy affects muscles and a person’s ability to control them. Muscles can contract too much, too little, or all at the same time. Limbs can be stiff and forced into painful, awkward positions. Fluctuating muscle contractions can make limbs tremble, shake, or writhe.
- Balance, posture, and coordination can also be affected by cerebral palsy. Tasks such as walking, sitting, or tying shoes may be difficult for some, while others might have difficulty grasping objects.
- Other complications, such as intellectual impairment, seizures, and vision or hearing impairment also commonly accompany cerebral palsy.

Cerebral palsy is non-life-threatening: With the exception of children born with a severe case, cerebral palsy is considered to be a non-life-threatening condition. Most children with cerebral palsy are expected to live well into adulthood.
Cerebral palsy is incurable: Cerebral palsy is damage to the brain that cannot currently be fixed. Treatment and therapy help manage effects on the body.
Cerebral palsy is non-progressive: The brain lesion is the result of a one-time brain injury and will not produce further degeneration of the brain.
Cerebral palsy is permanent: The injury and damage to the brain is permanent. The brain does not heal as other parts of the body might. Because of this, the cerebral palsy itself will not change for better or worse during a person’s lifetime. On the other hand, associative conditions may improve or worsen over time.
Cerebral palsy is not contagious; it is not communicable: In the majority of cases, cerebral palsy is caused by damage to the developing brain. Brain damage is not spread through human contact. However, a person can intentionally or unintentionally increase the likelihood a child will develop cerebral palsy through abuse, accidents, medical malpractice, negligence, or the spread of a bacterial or viral infection.
Cerebral palsy is manageable: The impairment caused by cerebral palsy is manageable. In other words, treatment, therapy, surgery, medications and assistive technology can help maximize independence, reduce barriers, increase inclusion and thus lead to an enhanced quality-of-life.
Cerebral palsy is chronic: The effects of cerebral palsy are long-term, not temporary. An individual diagnosed with cerebral palsy will have the condition for their entire life.

**All information on this post was taken directly from MY CHILD.  I do not claim any part of this is as my own** 

The Results Are In

Have you ever had a moment where you feel like your world is about to come crashing down on you?  Today, Doug and I received some news about Sarah that has put us into a bit of a state of shock. 

We were given the results of the MRI.  I think I went in with the hope that we'd be told that there was nothing going on and to have a nice day.  That unfortunately was not the case.  

Medically speaking, Sarah's "corpus callosum" is slightly thinned.  This means that the connection between the two halves of the brain is not as thick as it should be, therefore causing the delays. In Doug's not so medical terms, he confirmed that Sarah's brain is simply wired differently.  Not wrong or bad, just different. 

They also found that there is "periventricular white matter" , consistent with "periventricular gliosis", WHICH as I understand, is the cause of her balance issues. 

All these findings are likely caused by a lack of oxygen to Sarah's brain while I was pregnant with her.  The doctor told us that his diagnosis for Sarah is a mild form of Cerebral Palsy.   

Cerebral palsy (CP) is a disorder that affects muscle tone, movement, and motor skills (the ability to move in a coordinated and purposeful way). Cerebral palsy can also lead to other health issues, including vision, hearing, and speech problems, and learning disabilities.

CP is usually caused by brain damage that occurs before or during a child's birth, or during the first 3 to 5 years of a child's life. There is no cure for CP, but treatment, therapy, and special equipment can help a child who is living with the condition.  Cerebral palsy affects muscle control and coordination, so even simple movements like standing still are difficult. Other vital functions that also involve motor skills and muscles such as breathing, bladder and bowel control, eating, and learning may also be affected when a child has CP. Cerebral palsy does not get worse over time.

(Information taken from this SITE)

Sarah will continue to progress at her own speed.  She will not regress nor will she reach a point where she stops learning.  She will for now continue to be behind her peers physically and developmentally.  She may never catch up but she will ultimately reach her full potential, whatever that may be.

I feel raw at the moment.  If someone were to ask how I am doing, the answer would be "not great".  I managed to drive home in a state of disbelief, shock and even fear.  What does the future hold for us?  What am I going to do with this plethora of information?   I feel sad, deflated and broken.  My heart is aching so bad right now.

Genetics Day

Yesterday brought us to the second major test that we've been waiting for.  The one that was delayed an extra month.  Overall, the appointment went well.  It was in fact, Sarah's best in that there was very little crying.  Only one stint where they wanted to weigh her and she simply didn't like that. 
We answered a whole bunch of questions that the nurse asked us, everything from my pregnancy history, miscarriages, to Sarah's development and growth. 

The genetics doctor was very gentle mannered and "nice" for lack of a better word.  Initially, his appearance of a mad scientist who just came out of the lab, had me a little worried but my fears were eased by his soft tone and spirit.  He again, asked us the same questions that the nurse did and the same questions I answered on paper before the meeting but whatever. 

I'd like to say at this point, I am grateful for Wendy (again) who came along to this appointment.  She took notes for me.  I am such a visual person and if it wasn't for her, I'm not sure how much I'd remember.

The doctor has requested some blood work for Sarah.  *sad*  He is going to test for three things, two of which he's pretty sure won't be the case.  They are common abnormalities and Sarah displays one or two symptoms of each but not enough to be 100% sure.  The third test will determine a possible chromosomal abnormality.  This will not tell us if her make-up is normal vs. not normal but rather it may possibly show an increase in one chromosome or a lack of another.  That could explain *maybe* why the delays are such, why she doesn't have much hair, the balance, lack of potty training... I don't exactly know.  We were warned that the first two tests Fragile X and Rhetts will take three months to get answers from and the chromosomal test will be nine months.  The doctor can't see any pattern in Sarah to confidently decide on a syndrome but is suspicious of some chromosomal issue.  One comment that he said that caught me off guard was that Sarah doesn't look like Doug or I.  I personally don't think any of my kids *look* like me but I was a little put out.  I have heard from many people who know us that Sarah DOES look like Doug, and even though the doctor is a professional, I'd rather take the opinions of my friends instead. 

So, all in all, the afternoon went well.  I finished it off with a cup of tea with my sister who had kept my older kids for the afternoon and then arrived home to the aroma of a roast in the slow cooker.  All I had to do was pull the meat apart and we ate.  I have to say, that was probably my best decision ever.  What a nice way to end the day! 

Thank you for praying my friends.  I appreciate you all. 

MRI day

Well, the day dawned bright and early for me after a long restless night.  Did I sleep?  Yes.  Did I sleep well?  No.  Lots of tossing and turning, thinking and spending long stretches praying and crying.
As I wrote this first part, Sarah was blessedly still sleeping.  She did wake up to nurse at 5:30 which is what I hoped would happen as our cutoff time was 6:00.  At least I knew that she had a little bit of nourishment in her little tummy.

As it turned out, our morning greeted us with the first snowstorm of this winter season.  Great.  The drive to the University wasn't all that bad... a little slippery and blustery but Doug's a good, confident driver.  When we arrived at the hospital, we asked for directions to where we should be and they sent us down a long hallway, turn right... whatever.  We go to admit her and are told we need to be at the pediatric MRI area.  Ok.  Off we go, down the elevator, more hallways and turns.  We arrive at the unit and are informed that we actually DID need to be where we were in the first place.  I was doing alright but could feel the push of a cry-fest approaching.  For the benefit of my daughter, I swallowed it down and head back the the original unit we were at.  Again, we are told we are in the wrong place and in fact need to be in, a totally different area of this GIGANTIC hospital.  My local friends and family know and understand how large and complicated the UofA is.  I'm feeling slightly lost, frustrated and confused.  A lovely older nurse guided us to the general vicinity of where we were to be.  Once we asked another person, she also took us straight to the correct MRI unit.  This took 30 minutes.  Thankful that I'm pretty strict about arriving early.

Once we signed in, a nurse quickly administered some EMLA cream to Sarah's tiny hands.  My daughter was less than impressed and tried to insist we take it off.  About half an hour later, they took her vitals, I put cute little hospital jammies on her and knew that the time was coming.  Sure enough, it was minutes later that they called me to the back, ready to anesthetize her.  Because she was crying, Sarah's veins were nice and big (relatively speaking) for them to put the IV in.  In a matter of a minute, she went from screaming and fighting to peacefully limp in my arms.  I held it together.  I did not cry.  In the waiting room was Doug and my sister in law Melanie.  It was so nice to have someone to talk to and pass the time by.  I didn't want to leave the area because I insisted on staying close to Sarah. 

It was only 25 minutes later when they told me she was awake.  All I could hear was her tiny little voice saying "I nee' mom."  I picked up my limp little girl and held her close.  She was in my arms again.  We waited the 20 minutes in the recovery room and were sent home.  Sarah came out of the anesthesia wonderfully.  We even stopped for a quick lunch on our way out and she has been chatty and happy all afternoon. 

Notes I'd like to end this post with:

~ I am thankful for the nurses who are so passionate about their job.  I felt like I mattered to them and that Sarah was just as important and special as the next kid.
~ I am glad that I like to be early. 
~ I am blessed to have a mother in law who will lovingly watch my children while I am busy.
~ I am thankful that Doug's job allows him to be flexible.  I couldn't have done today without him.
~ I have a wonderful aunt who offered to make supper for us tonight.
~ I'm grateful for all my friends who held me in prayer today.  I believe that the fact that I didn't cry all morning is because of their prayers.  Thank you.

It Happened to Us

A miracle that is.  I think for the most part, we often think miracles happen to other people but never us.  I have an inspiring story to share.


For quite a few years, Doug has been fighting vertigo.  In his words, he described it as laying on a record player and being unable to get off.  The past 2-3 years for him have been much harder with needing medication to control it and missing up to five or six days of work a month.  If was a really bad spell, it would keep him in bed for a day or more.


On the weekend of October 1, Doug attended the annual Elder's meeting at Camp Nakamun. As was anticipated, Doug began to feel the onset of a dizzy spell come so he went to his room to take a pill.  As he said to me "we believe in the power of medicine and the power of miracles".  When he arrived back at the session, one of the elders noted that he wasn't feeling good. Doug simply shrugged it off and replied that he'd be fine in a bit.  Suddenly, Henry announced that they needed to pray for Doug.  Pastor David (who was speaking at the time) asked if he could at least finish his presentation.  Henry stated again that they needed to pray for Doug.  When asked if Henry felt the power of the Spirit on him, Henry said he didn't know but they needed to pray.  With that, Henry began to pray for Doug.  While this was happening, Doug's ears began to get hot and Henry started to feel a bit dizzy.  Quite often when a person prays for healing, they will feel or experience some of the symptoms that the person they are praying for feels.

Doug's ears felt hot for most of the afternoon and it wasn't until around 3:00 when he noticed that he wasn't dizzy and yet, the medication should have worn off.


It has been just over a month since this has occurred and even with other issues (a back injury), Doug has not experienced one bout of dizziness.  He has woken up in the middle of the night to pick up one of our girls from a sleep over, he can get right out of bed with out stumbling and he can go from a sitting position to standing with no feeling of head rush.


He has been healed of his vertigo.  We praise God for this miracle even in the times of frustration with a very painful back.  God is GOOD!

Connections Playgroup Part II

I had a visit this morning from Wendy to discuss some of the findings of Tuesday's session.  One of the suggestions was to get a referral to the Glenrose in the Physical Medicine department.  The OT was concerned about how much Sarah drags her toes when she walks (her shoes are proof of this).  The Phys Med area would focus on her walk, her gait and her gross motor skills.  They would then work with us on physical and occupational therapy for Sarah.  They also would be able to suggest {again} that we have the assessment done and by this point, we will have already had a foot in the door, so to speak.

We are also going to investigate other programs in our area that might be willing to work with us at home.  Wendy warned me that the group is going to try to tell me that Sarah needs to be in a program and that I can just set my heels in deep and say no.  I think that makes me sad.  I'm sad that the professionals don't think that I am able to do this.  As Sarah's mom, I do not feel that a preschool/program/structured system is the right road for her.  {If you read this and disagree, please be nice and don't voice your opinion yet} I firmly believe that the best learning takes place in her home with me, her dad and her siblings.  Her grandparents, aunts and uncles are all very involved in her life and together, I am determined we can make it work.
Wendy brought over a handmade matching game for Sarah.

There were four pictures of Curious George on a piece of paper.

Then she brought out four cut outs of the same pictures.  

When the *game* was first brought out, Sarah just whispered in awe, "George, mom."  It was so sweet how her favorite monkey happened to find his way into Wendy's bag.

For now though, we simply wait.  Wait until more testing.  Wait until we hear from other services.  Wait until the full report from this assessment comes.  I'm getting good at waiting.  I just don't like it.

Connections Playgroup Part I

The day started bright and early as we had to leave the house for 8:00 in order to arrive on time (adding in traffic and rush hour) for our 9:00 appointment.  This was a play based session where all Sarah had to do was play.  The room was neatly stationed with various toys all designed to encourage different areas of development.  Her favorite was the little slide... I'd bet she went on it close to 100 or more times.  Up and down, over and over.  After being observed by an Occupational Therapist, Psychologist, Nurse, Speech Therapist, and Speech Pathologist, we all got together (including our EI counselor) and had a 30 minute debriefing.  All the specialists spoke of what they saw in Sarah and we discussed what we were looking for in this particular session. 
I made it clear that none of my kids, Sarah included, have gone or will go to a preschool.  I felt it was important to make my position known early on.  I explained that I want to know where Sarah is at and what I can do in my home to help her learn, develop and reach her full potential.  They seemed open to that and they gave us some leads of groups that may or may not help.  But unless we look into them, we don't really know. 
It was decided also that until the medical tests are done (Genetics and the dreaded MRI), we can't really determine what more to do.  Hopefully those two tests together will be the climax to the last 5 months of attempting to figure out what's up with my little Miss. 
Our EI counselor is coming for {another} home visit on Thursday to discuss the details and findings of today's group assessment.

1 Peter 1: 6-7
So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while.  These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.  

As I read this, I'll admit that I find that being joyful can be hard.  I'm physically and emotionally tired and some of these trials are really exhausting.  God is faithful though and has promised to stand by me through all of this.  I'm working on laying my fears and pain at His feet and taking delight in my family.