Tuesday, January 25, 2011

I am a toddler

I borrowed this from my friend Stacy's blog.  I thought it was very appropriate for my own 2.5 year old!

I am a Toddler

If it is on, I must turn it off
If it is off, I must turn it on
If it is folded, I must unfold it
If it is liquid, it must be shaken, then spilled
If it is a solid, it must be crumpled, chewed and smeared
If it is high, it must be reached
If it is shelved, it must be unshelved
If it is pointed, it must be run with at top speed
If it has leaves, they must be picked
If it is plugged, it must be unplugged
If it is not trashed, it must be thrown away
If it is in the trash, it must be removed,
inspected and thrown on the floor
If it is closed, it must be opened
If it does not open, it must be screamed at
If it has drawers, they must be rifled
If it is a pencil, it must write on the refrigerator, monitor or table
If it is full, it will be more interesting emptied
If it is empty, it will be more interesting full
If it is a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon
If it is a stroller, it must under no circumstances be ridden in without protest.
It must be pushed by me instead
If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon
If Mommy’s hands are full, I must be carried
If Mommy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone
If it is paper, it must be torn
If it has buttons, they must be pressed
If the volume is low, it must go high
If it is toilet paper, it must be unrolled on the floor
If it is a drawer, it must be pulled upon
If it is not a toothbrush, it must be inserted into my mouth
If it has a faucet, it must be turned on at full force
If it is a phone, I must talk on it
If it is a bug, I must swallow it
If it doesn’t stay on my spoon it must be dropped on the floor
If it is not food, it must be tasted
If it IS food, it must NOT be tasted
If it is a car seat, it must be protested with arched back
If it is Mommy, it must be hugged

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