Tuesday's Tidbits

It's been a while since I last blogged so I thought I'd give a quick recap of what's been going on here!

• Last Sunday night, we held a grade nine grad party for Joshua (and me) as we successfully completed our nine years of homeschooling together. We invited his grandparents as well as the youth group (and their families) from Calahoo. It was a great evening with lots of laughter, a blessing on Joshua by our pastor and prayers by his grandpas and friends. What a huge blessing that was on us.
• Joshua is into his second week of summer school. He's taking CALM and gym... I think it's a good transition into the upcoming high school year. He's learning to get up on time and taking responsibility for what needs to be done.
• Andrea has been working as a dayhome provider's assistant. She's putting in between 10 and 15 hours a week which is keeping her a little busy but still allowing her to spend a lot of time at home.
• Arianna is just enjoying summer like a 10 year old should. She takes long walks with me, almost every day and loves being outside. 
• Sarah is doing well. She loves playing with "P'ayobil" (Playmobil) and it's been fun to watch her imagination spark with her hours of play. She enjoys being outside but the conditions have to be right in order for her to not be overwhelmed. She doesn't like the wind and too much noise drives her inside. 
• Doug is doing good. He is busy with work and supporting his friendships. He has a desire to build these male relationships and I love seeing his heart at work. The depression days come and go and I again realized that even just the wrong presentation of how I speak can be hard on him. Every day presents itself new and until he's in it, we can't really predict how it will go. It means continually trusting God in this part of his life and leaving it in His hands.
• Me? I'm doing quite well. I have been digging deep into the Word and am feeling God's presence near me. He has become so real to me and the past seven months have been life changing. I've made peace with a few things that have been lingering on my heart and the peace that I'm experiencing now is amazing. God is working in my life as well as the lives of those around me and it's exciting to see His power! 
• I love summer. I put up with long cold winters and I genuinely enjoy the hot summer days. I like walking, being outside and enjoying the sun! The forecasted 30* at the end of this week bring a smile to my face and I am looking forward to it.

Happy Tuesday everyone! Enjoy your day!

Wisdom From a Friend

"The mountains never stop appearing; they just get easier to climb.  As I have said before, you have had a loss of what you thought Sarah's life would be.  Even though she is perfect and delightful as she is, it is not what you expected nor what you wanted for her; it is okay to be sad because you are also able to be joyful."

Birthday Fun

We began Sarah's birthday with the one and only present she asked for. A wagon. Doug and Joshua assembled the wagon the night before. I wrapped the empty box so she would have something to open but the wagon was just sitting in the dining room. Before she even started to open it, she asked me, "Issa wagon? Issa wagon?" Thankfully, it WAS the wagon. I have no idea how I would try to explain otherwise.

She was barely awake and could hardly open her eyes.

At church, we sung to her and her grin just grew as she knew it was about her! 

We decided that in order to reduce the amount of busyness and stress on her, we'd have a very low-key, quiet afternoon. She's not a fan of cake but she loves the two bite brownies that can be bought. I topped them off with a dollop of pink icing and she was delighted!

Later on in the day, I took Sarah for the maiden voyage in her wagon. She was delighted and when I told her that the wagon needed to stay in the garage, she replied with, "But, the wagon wants to be inna house!" The wagon is still in the house.

Because this was the first year that her birthday has meant anything to her, it was extra fun to treat her in a special way. There came a point in the evening when her little world came crashing down. Bedtime. We had put the toys away, cleaned up after the party mess and began the trek upstairs. I fondly refer to it as the post-birthday meltdown.

I sat with her in her bed until her breathing settled down and she finally fell asleep. As much as I love celebrating my kids' birthdays, I do enjoy the next day when things are quiet and returning to normal!

Happy Birthday Sarah! I hope you had a great day!

Sarah, You Are SIX! (Warning: Many photos)

Six years ago today, I went into the hospital ready to meet our fourth baby. I was nine days overdue and I had a very important wedding to attend the following weekend. I didn't want to be pregnant for it, nor did I want to miss it due to being in the hospital. After an afternoon of labor, shortly after 9:00 that evening, our much awaited for baby made her entrance into the world. Barely tipping the scale at 6 pounds and no taller than 17 inches, Sarah was by far our smallest newborn. Doug actually had to go and buy a preemie sleeper for us to take her home in. As I reflect on this day in complete wonder at this tiny baby and who she's become to us, I am nearly brought to tears as the love for her is so great.

About six weeks ago, we celebrated Joshua and Arianna's birthdays. Sarah thought it should be hers too and so, since then, we have been telling her that her birthday was coming soon. And she reminded us of that fact frequently. A short time after that, she said she wanted a present for her birthday. When I asked her what she wanted in the present, she replied, "a wagon". This request didn't change. Ever. Last night, I went out and bought her the one thing she asked for. The main reason we decided to get her exactly what she requested is because this is the first time that she's had an awareness of her birthday AND it's the first time she's even made such a request and didn't change it. She fully expected a wagon and to not get it would disappoint her and I'd be unable to explain it.

 Two Years Old

 Three Years Old

 Four Years Old (finally her hair started to grow)

Four Years Old

Five Years Old

The day after the dental surgery

My coffee loving baby

SIX years old!

Oh littlest daughter, I can't believe you are turning six years old. Occasionally, on birthdays I will post a certain number of things about the celebrated one. Six doesn't seem like enough things, 72 (months) is a LOT to think of. So, I will just start writing tid-bits about you and who you are on this birthday!

1. You are SO fun to be around.
2. You love everyone and seem to have a few favorite people in your life.
3. You don't eat meat.
4. You don't eat (most) veggies.
5. You love peanut butter, Ritz crackers, goldfish crackers and french fries.
6. When we laugh at your antics, you reply with "Whatchoo waffing at?"
7. Spending time outside is one of your favorite things to do.
8. Parks are fun but only if there is no one else there.
9. Loud, sudden noises will make you stop whatever you are doing.
10. You are still terrified of the medical community.
11. You weigh 34 pounds.
12. Sleepers are still your most favorite article of clothing.
13. Curious George still ranks as one of the tops shows that you watch. 
14. You also enjoy Frozen, Mickey Mouse, Garfield and Little House on the Prairie.
15. The iPad is a {necessary} tool that you use frequently during the day.
16. Developmentally, you talk and act like a three year old.
17. You love playing with your Playmobile sets. 
18. You are sleeping all night, in your own bed. 
19. Number 18 requires Arianna to be with you till you fall asleep.
20. Although you like pretty much everyone, there's a few extra special people in your life. 
21. Asking me for a "hug-uppy" or "I need a cungle" still makes my heart melt and I'm always happy to oblige.
22. You refer to my iPhone as the "George phone". 
23. You are my early bird riser and enjoy the last few sips of my coffee when you come down.
24. You can count to 10 but still skip the number 4. I don't know why. 
25. You can identify a circle, square, star and kite shape.
26. Colors are still not used correctly with much consistency yet.
27. You can tell when there are "two" of something and you'll say they match.
28. Going to Sobeys and sitting in the big cart with a cookie bring you such delight.
29. You are easy to please. 
30. I'm glad you are still small enough to sit in the stroller while we go for walks. 
31. God has blessed us with you. I thank him daily for letting us be your family and being given the privilege of raising you. He has made you so perfect in his sight and knew exactly what he was doing when he made us your mum and dad. 

Thankful Thursday {06.19.14}

• The 2013/2014 school year is officially over. I have brought my kids to the end of grade nine, eight and four. I'm looking forward to the next 10 weeks of lazy sleepy mornings with coffee and books. Long walks with my kids and park dates with friends.
• The weather lately has been so summery and warm lately. It does such good things to my body and heart to be outside.
• We're heading to Calgary this weekend for a short visit with my sister. I'm looking forward to having a good visit with her and the family. I'm thankful that things fell into place and my older two will be cared for overnight. (Not quite ready to leave them home alone over night)
• My family is healthy. 
• God is doing an amazing work in me. I'm thankful for his Grace as He walks with me on this journey of life.
• I am blessed by friends.

Guest Post

Last week I was invited by a fellow special needs blogger mom to write up a guest post to be featured on her blog. Her daughter Bethany survived brain cancer when she was younger and you can read about her story here: Bethany's Diagnosis

You can also check out my post on Learning and Living With Our New Normal.

I had to summarize three years of "life" into a couple paragraphs and I think (other than one grammar error) I did alright. It wasn't easy to pull just the highlights of how we got to where we are today.

Thank you Sylvia for allowing me to be a featured poster on your blog!

Pediatrician Appointment {06.10.14}

On Tuesday morning, Sarah and I headed out to the doctor for her quarterly visit. On this day, there was no snow storm, no icy roads and no university traffic. I must have made it there in record time!

It started out to be pretty discouraging when Sarah began to cry. In the van. In the driveway. I felt deflated and we hadn't even moved but thankfully she settled down and we headed off. This entire visit to the pediatrician was the most pleasant that I've experienced in a long time. Once we arrived, she wasn't happy or even in a good mood but she was pleasant and cooperative. One of the things that I notice with her is that she seems scared and nervous. I try to ease those fearful feelings simply by telling her that it's going to be okay, nothing will hurt as well as lots of prep beforehand. We talked about the doctor looking in her ears and mouth as well as listening to her tummy. My girlfriend's daughter has an app on the iPad that is an interactive doctor's visit and the two girls would play on that once in a while. Maybe that helped? I'm not too sure.

Overall, the doctor seemed satisfied with her and he said she's simply growing at her own (slow) pace.

In six months she's gone from 33 to 34 pounds (less than 3rd percentile) and she's grown half an inch and is now 42 inches tall (4th percentile).

She was pretty snuggly while waiting for the doctor.

Speech Appointment {06.04.14}

This morning Sarah had a speech appointment, basically to see what's happened in a year and what we're going to do next. She was so nervous and scared when we arrived that she just vibrated in my lap. Once we entered the room, she calmed down a bit but still appeared agitated. Thankfully, it didn't take long for her to settle in and realize that there was nothing to be concerned about. The little book that was the focus has a dog as the main character and then each page has an object focus that Sarah had to say. For instance words like: house, elephant, zebra, ladder, pyjamas, and chair. There were maybe 50 of these pictures and her knowledge of them was so much greater than they were last summer. Sarah has also made huge progress on many of the letter sounds.

I was given a few exercises to focus on this summer to help her pronounce the letter 'L' and 'S'. They are simple mouthing actions that we can do just a couple times a day to train her tongue to work properly.

It was really encouraging to hear something encouraging like this. Because I'm with Sarah all the time, I don't think I really notice the progress the same way someone who hasn't seen her in a year would. It makes my heart full and happy to know that she is improving!

Happy Wednesday!!

"Meet With Me"

I'm here to meet with you

Come and meet with me

I'm here, to find you;

Reveal yourself to me

As I wait, you make me strong

As I long, draw me to your arms

As I stand, and sing your praise, 

You come, You come,

And fill this place;

Won't you come, won't you come and fill this place.

I'm here to meet with you

Come and meet with me

I'm here, to find you;

Reveal yourself to me

As I wait, you make me strong

As I long, draw me to your arms

As I stand, and sing your praise, 

You come, You come,

And fill this place;

Won't you come, won't you come and fill this place.

As I wait, you make me strong

As I long, draw me to your arms

As I stand, and sing your praise, 

You come, You come,

And fill this place;

As I wait, you make me strong

As I long, draw me to your arms

As I stand, and sing your praise, 

You come, You come,

And fill this place;

Won't you come, won't you come and fill this place.

Lord come, Lord come and fill this place.

I'm here to meet with you

Come and meet with me.

Monday's Musings

• Joshua and I are on the countdown to the last. four. weeks. of. school. We did it. He stuck with it, even though the initial transition from traditional homeschool to a more aligned focus was rough. He's learned how to write essays, take exams and hopefully is prepared for high school in the fall. He has done so very well and I'm bursting with pride! I am also pretty proud of myself for getting him to this point. I'm sure I wasn't the only one who doubted I could do it and I feel like I've conquered the world! I have always promised that I would homeschool the kids up until grade nine and then reassess each one as they got there. I'm so thankful for the love, support and prayer of friends who helped me pull through the rough waters!
• Andrea is done her school year and has successfully completed grade 8. She proved to be very independent and did most of her learning on her own, asking for help when needed. She's gotten a part time summer job as a helper in a day home which is keeping her quite busy but also earning some spending money. I miss her when she's gone but when she gets back home, she's just beaming with delight at how great her day was. About a month and a half to two months ago, Andrea cut her hair. Just the other day, she decided to change it up again and she went with a red color! I think it looks fabulous and she's so happy with the switch.
• Arianna completed grade 4 last week. She required a bit more hands on but that was to be expected as she's younger. For her birthday, she had saved up and received enough money to buy an American Girl Doll. Her doll of choice was Isabelle who is the girl of the year. The excitement on her face when it arrived made the 10 days of waiting so worth it. She'll stay busy this summer with some reading, lots of playdates with friends and a week of VBS at the end of August.
• Sarah is really fun right now. She loves her chunky wooden puzzles and created little scenarios with all the farm animals, zoo animals and other pieces. She also spends most of her day with Playmobile. It is for sure the most used toy in the house. She is consistently sleeping though the night in the bed with Arianna and I'm so glad we finally were able to get over that hurdle this winter. She's still getting up pretty early and I'm simply learning to take it in and deal with it. 
• We were at church yesterday and something so very amazing occurred and only God can be given the glory for it. I can't go into details due to protecting privacy of people, but I'm here to say that God is at work, especially in our little church. I love the extended family they have become and I'm excited to be a part of such a growing people. I am developing my faith walk and I am looking forward to seeing what God is going to continue to do with me.

 Arianna and Isabelle.

 One of the many views I have on my daily walks. 

 Sarah got a haircut on Sunday... with some curls, I think she defines "cute".

Ephesians 1:11

In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will...

Time

The age spread between my four kids is just over nine years. I have two teenagers, a 10 year old and an almost six year old. Before Sarah was born, my days started early and were full but I always had quiet evenings to myself. This quiet time allowed me to reflect on the day's events, enjoy some alone time and begin to think about what we'd be doing the next day. Of course having a newborn means pretty much giving up all your time, 24 hours a day. Unlike many children who sleep through the night within the first one or two years, Sarah was up at least once a night sometimes more, up until this past February. We gently parented her into learning how to sleep in the same bed as Arianna without needing to come to me in the middle of the night. She has always been a little morning person. She and I spend an hour or two together before the rest of the house wakes up which includes watching a movie and sharing a cup of coffee.

"You have to share wiff me your coffee, right Mum?"

Although I try to enjoy these quiet times with just her, the older kids no longer go to bed at 8:00 which means I am down to very little "me" time. I don't mean to be selfish. I love my kids with all my heart and I absorb the early mornings with Sarah or the late night chats with my teens. But I also am a separate person, outside of being a parent. For a while I was able to enjoy the mornings by getting up before everyone else. That meant setting an alarm for about 5:00am. This would give me time to have a solo cup of coffee, read my Bible and emotionally prepare for the day. For a few weeks now, a certain "someone" has been waking up around 5:15 to 5:30. It's hard not to feel like my time is being taken from me. I value some alone time. It's like it's the fuel for my day, spending time with God and preparing for what the day holds.

I let those negative feelings reside in me for much of the day and it took till mid afternoon before I decided I wouldn't let the weather or busyness of my day keep me inside. I am thankful for the encouragement of a friend and finally a walk in the rain. I took my early riser, plopped her in her Chariot and headed outside this afternoon. I was able to enjoy the sound of rain hitting the ground and the smell of a clean earth that could only be designed and created by my God.

Thankful Thursday - Eagle's Wings

I am thankful for his grace, for his mercy for his redeeming love.

Eagle's Wings

Here I am waiting, abide in me, I pray

Here I am longing for You

Hide me in Your love, bring me to my knees

May I know Jesus more and more

Come live in me all my life, take over

Come breathe in me, I will rise on eagle's wings

Come live in me all my life, take over

Come breathe in me, I will rise on eagle's wings

Here I am waiting, abide in me, I pray

Here I am longing for You

Hide me in Your love, bring me to my knees

May I know Jesus more and more

Come live in me all my life, take over

Come breathe in me, I will rise on eagle's wings

Come live in me all my life, take over

Come breathe in me, I will rise on eagle's wings

Come live in me all my life, take over

Come breathe in me, I will rise on eagle's wings

Come live in me all my life, take over

Come breathe in me, I will rise on eagle's wings

I will rise on eagle's wings, I will rise on eagle's wings

I will rise on eagle's wings, I will rise on eagle's wings

I will rise on eagle's wings, I will rise on eagle's wings

On eagle's wings

Monday's Musings

• I have been up for two and a half hours. That's given me a lot of time to be in a quiet space, reading God's word and talking to him. It's such a great way to begin my day and I'm thankful for these moments where I can focus on God alone without interruptions or disruptions.
• The kids and I are down to our final five weeks of school. Or at least Joshua is. The girls will likely be done sooner but that's the benefit and joy of homeschooling!
• Doug is well into BC for a work trade show which means I'm solo parenting for the week. I'm thankful that my kids are much older than when he first started doing road trips nearly ten years ago. Sarah is the only one that requires full care and the other three are able to do much on their own.
• Romans 15:13 - "{I} pray that God, the source of hope, will fill {me} completely with joy and peace because {I} trust in him. Then {I} will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. 
• It's a rainy kind of day today. I'm thinking that once the regular stuff is done, we'll hang out together and watch some movies together. 
• This week will be busy with our last piano lesson, a speech assessment for Sarah and hopefully some walks and park days. I'm so glad winter is over and that we can be outside again!

Happy Monday - may you be blessed!

Sunday's Song: On Christ The Solid Rock I Stand

Good morning! May your Sunday be filled with His love and blessings!

1. My hope is built on nothing less
   Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness;
   I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
   But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.
   • Refrain:
     On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
     All other ground is sinking sand,
     All other ground is sinking sand.
2. When darkness veils His lovely face,
   I rest on His unchanging grace;
   In every high and stormy gale,
   My anchor holds within the veil.
3. His oath, His covenant, His blood
   Support me in the whelming flood;
   When all around my soul gives way,
   He then is all my hope and stay.
4. When He shall come with trumpet sound,
   Oh, may I then in Him be found;
   Dressed in His righteousness alone,
   Faultless to stand before the throne.

Third Anniversary

May 16th marked the third anniversary of the day that "normal" was redefined for us. I blogged about that day HERE. Now I'm not totally sure why I didn't write this post on Friday, I think I got my dates mixed up.

I can still see so clearly in my mind about how that very first home visit, which consisted of a DISC (Diagnostic Inventory for Screening Children) assessment had gone. I had no idea what to expect of this visit and when I saw how low Sarah scored on the tests, I was devastated. We were told that she was anywhere from 8-18 months behind kids who were her age. It was quite the blow to hear from someone that our daughter wasn't developing typically.

The months and years that followed consisted of biweekly home visits from our Early Intervention Coordinator which were times full of play ideas, tips and encouragement. I think initially I was resistant to Wendy, possibly because I wanted to deny that anything was different with Sarah. As time went on, I found her to be someone who was an encourager, supporter and cheerleader for me. I was learning to be strong for Sarah and to fight for her. I am so thankful for the times Wendy, Sarah and I had together and I believe she was a vital part of our lives for that time. It was sad to say good bye to her when Sarah turned five.

This day marked the beginning of a whole new chapter of life for us. We would quickly learn words like cerebral palsy, severe microcephaly, severe global developmental delays, intervention, special needs and more. Although these words do not define who Sarah is and they are a part of of our lives, she didn't change that day, simply because a label was given.

Sarah continues to be a blessing to Doug, myself, our family and to just about anyone who meets and knows her. Our life took a detour that day. We are on a different journey than we may have thought we would have been and although it hasn't all been easy, we have conquered many mountains and milestones. We celebrate each victory with enthusiasm, no matter how small. The other day, Sarah picked me a dandelion bouquet for the first time and it was such a precious gift to me.

Today, I don't know where she is as far as her developmental stages are. She certainly acts and speaks considerably younger than she is but I have no tools to base that on. If I had to guess, I'd place her around 3.5-4 years old, depending on the skill. And today, that's okay. She is perfect in God's eyes and she is exactly how he wants her to be.

Because of Love

Doug and I have often said that a marriage is 100/100, rather than 50/50. It takes work. A lot of work. It means giving of yourself to the other person and sometimes doing something that you may not necessarily enjoy as much as your spouse.

Such was the case last night. I got on the back of Doug's motorcycle and we went for a ride. Not because I love looking at the back of a helmet or because I love the lack of ability to talk in a normal volume. But I did it because I love Doug and he loves riding his motorcycle. He has been riding on two wheels for as long as he can recall and I've heard how he received a tiny motorcycle on a stand by the time he was two. Personally, I prefer driving in our van so we can glance at each other and carry on a conversation without the wind being louder than our voices. But for an hour or so as I sat behind him, it gave me the opportunity to remember our dating years, when we did a lot of riding and a lot of driving in the '67 Mustang that somehow turned into an engagement ring.

I don't always have the deep desire to ride the motorcycle but I know that it means a lot to Doug and that's what's important.

Happy Monday. May you and your marriages be blessed.

Watching

We all have long tiring days. I find though that they take a greater toll on Sarah and by the time she's been awake for over 12 hours, things go downhill really quickly. Today began with her waiting outside my bathroom door at 5:30 in the morning. The two of us padded downstairs and she began playing with her toys as I managed to get a cup of coffee poured. Most of the day was spent out at our church as we participated in the annual spring clean up. Sarah was outside with the other girls for almost four hours. When we came home, she had an emotional crash. She was teary and sad for most of the evening. I gave in to her pleas and she had pancakes for supper and refused to have a bath. The two of us snuggled on a chair and watched an episode of Little House on the Prairie together and after 30 minutes, she asked to go to bed. She wanted to start off in mine and Doug's bed and rather than fight, I said she could. As I was laying beside her, I was thinking of this:


There is something amazing about watching your child fall asleep.
I mean really sitting beside her, seeing her lashes fall heavily on her cheeks.
Watching as the hair twirling slows down and her tiny hand falls limply on the covers.
As she scratches that itchy spot on her head once more. And her fingers rest in her hair.
The one final deep sigh as slumber takes over.

Every tired muscle that ran up the ramp. And down the stairs.
The tiptoes as she watched the bobcat drive by the windows.
Her little legs keeping up with the big girls and at times just falling down from exhaustion.
Her thin arms as she helped Mr. Bruce rake the grass.
The busyness of keeping track of where everyone was.

My heart melted as I watched her lips relaxed.
The sweet mouth that kissed me good night and affirmed that I'm the "best ever Mommy".
Tonight, I watched my youngest daughter fall asleep. It took up my time.
And it was the sweetest part of my day.

A Letter to Me

Even though the Bible was written thousands of years ago, it is still a powerful tool for us to use today. It is full of advice, lessons, promises and letters to God's people. Lately I have been drawn to the book of Ephesians, specifically the first chapter. I paraphrased it and turned it into a personal letter to me from God and when I read it back, I feel so privileged that He is talking to me!

Dear Stephanie,

For it was in me that I chose you, even before I created the world so you could become holy and blameless in my sight. Because I love you, I predestined you to be adopted as my daughter through Jesus Christ which is in accordance with my pleasure and will - to the praise and glorious grace, which I have freely given you in the One I love. In my son Jesus, you have been rescued through his blood, your sins are forgiven in accordance with the riches of my grace, that I lavished on you with all wisdom and understanding. Because you are united with Christ, you were also made an heir and have received an inheritance from me. I chose you in advance because I work everything out to the purpose of my will. This is so that you might be for the praise of my glory. You have been marked with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit who is a deposit guaranteeing your inheritance until the redemption of those who are my possession - I did this so that you would praise and glorify me.

Love,
God

*Paraphrased from Ephesians 1:4-14 (NIV & NLT)

Thankful Thursday

• I am so glad winter is over. Time to hit the pavement for walks around the city, to parks and enjoy picnics.
• For the people at my church who have so quickly become like an extended family.
• Friends
• I am thankful for the many different ways of communication. Texting, email and blogging allows me to get in touch with people who I need to talk to, encourage or seek encouragement.
• It's a long weekend. I'm looking forward to an extra day off to just hang out with my family and friends!

Sunday's Song: I Can Only Imagine

This song was sung at a Celebration of Life yesterday for a young mom who was only 36 years old. We who are left here on earth can only imagine what she's doing right now but she is living it. So is my mom. Her heart problems are long over and she's been sitting by her Jesus for years now. I can only imagine what it will be like to be reunited with those who have gone before us and oh what a happy day that will be.

I Can Only Imagine

I can only imagine what it will be like
When I walk by your side
I can only imagine what my eyes will see
When your face is before me
I can only imagine
I can only imagine

Surrounded by your glory
What will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you Jesus,
Or in awe of you be still?
Will I stand in your presence,
Or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing Hallelujah,
Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine
I can only imagine

I can only imagine when that day comes
And I find myself standing in the Son
I can only imagine when all I will do
Is forever, forever worship you
I can only imagine
I can only imagine

Surrounded by your glory,
What will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you Jesus,
Or in awe of you be still?
Will I stand in your presence,
Or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing Hallelujah,
Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine, yeah
I can only imagine
I can only imagine, yeah, yeah, yeah

Surrounded by your glory,
What will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you Jesus,
Or in awe of you be still?
Will I stand in your presence,
Or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing Hallelujah,
Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine, yeah

I can only imagine, yeah, yeah
I can only imagine, Yeah
I can only imagine
I can only imagine, Ohh yeah
I can only imagine

I can only imagine when all I will do
is forever, forever worship you
I can only imagine